The Green Child: ‘There’s something special about the intention behind the music created in the spaces we’re in’

Handmade collage by B

With their third album Look Familiar, The Green Child has grown into a fully realised band. Originally the recording project of Raven Mahon (Grass Widow, Rocky) and Mikey Young (Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Total Control), the group now includes Shaun Gionis (Boomgates) on drums and Alex Macfarlane (Hobbies Galore, Faceless Burial) on guitar and synths. Writing and demoing the album together in Naarm/Melbourne, the quartet found new energy in playing as a unit, shaping a more dynamic, expansive sound while staying true to their refined psychedelic pop.

Look Familiar is an album alive with shifting textures and unexpected turns, its lustrous sound blending propulsive rhythms with hazy, cinematic layers to create a sense of movement through both time and memory. With shimmering synths, reverberant guitars, and Raven Mahon’s ethereal vocals threading through each track, The Green Child has crafted a work that feels both intimate and transcendent. Lyrically, it is rich with shifting realities and personal histories, with Raven incorporating vignettes of family memories alongside reflections on world events. The album’s artwork, painted by her mother in the early ’90s, further ties into this theme of past and present converging.

Gimmie recently spoke with Raven and Mikey about the stories behind Look Familiar.

We’re really excited about your album—it was one of our favourite albums of last year (2024). We love music that is unique, does its own thing, and incorporates lots of different elements, or when an artist takes influences and puts a new twist on them.

RAVEN: Yeah, I feel the same. You always have your influences—whether you’re conscious of them or not—they make their way into the songwriting. It’s always kind of there. But then, being able to add something… or maybe just the process of writing in the moment, responding to whatever you’re feeling at the time, that shapes the song. It might have some references or a particular style, but it just becomes its own thing anyway.

It’s cool to see bands that have something particular to say. And then that just becomes a vehicle for it—like a familiar genre or something. Because you can tell they’re in it, that they’ve put themselves into it. That’s always going to be unique.

A word thought that came to mind when listening to your album was ‘dreamlike” and there’s a warmth too. There’s such like a brightness to it. Listening to it is almost like getting a hug from a friend you haven’t seen in ages. Your album generates beautiful feelings for the listener. It has a familiarity to it. 

RAVEN: Thank you.

MIKEY: Yeah. I wonder if making music with more people, rather than just ourselves, makes it sound more inviting or warm. I feel like the first record doesn’t sound very warm at all—I could be wrong. It just sounds kind of cold to me. But having more people around probably lifts it up a little.

When you made the first Green Child album, you were both living in two different places, right? Do you think the distance might have made it feel that way?

MIKEY: Possibly. Although, weirdly, it hasn’t really changed how we write music. The first thing we ever did, we were in the same room, which ended up being a track on the first album. But I do find that, initially, it was a bit cold. I feel like the first record doesn’t sound very warm at all. I could be wrong— it just sounds cold to me. I found that I worked better if I was alone, trying to figure out ideas. I get kind of claustrophobic if people are around when I’m trying to figure out stuff, so that distance was helpful.

With the second one, when we lived together— weirdly, it was kind of the same. I’d be like, ‘You go in the other room. I’m just going to do this.’ And there wasn’t much interaction about ideas. It wasn’t really until this one, Raven wrote a lot more of the music as well. We left things really open for Shauny and Alex to be involved in. That kind of collaboration—that lack of distance has helped make it more uplifting, maybe.

RAVEN: I feel like the sentiment has always been there, even early on, without explicitly talking about constructing the songs together or what the parts would be like. There’s still something in the melodies or the instrumental ideas you would send—they’d be kind of open, maybe not structured yet, but just melodies and beats, the makings of a song. It’s funny that we work this way, but I feel like I do better by listening first and coming up with vocal melodies and then letting the lyrics follow. I like doing that on my own, but I’m sure they were still informed by the feeling of the songs and the ideas you were sending. There’s still some kind of subconscious communication about it in It’s like evolution.

MIKEY: Yeah.

RAVEN:I feel like there’s not really a conscious decision to make a particular kind of song or a particular kind of sound. It just ends up being what it is.

What we end up making together sounds softer, has a warmth to it, but the subject matter isn’t always warm. There’s a contradiction in there somewhere. 

I noticed that. For example, ‘Wow Factor’ is talking about double standards of the international justice system, but then also caring for and protecting those that are close to you. 

RAVEN: Yeah, it was specifically about Gaza and Palestine, and feeling horrified by it. And also thinking about what we’re able to do to prevent it—or to react to it, or to hold the government that is supposed to represent us, accountable for their participation in it—it’s really frustrating. It’s hard to be on the outside, just watching it happen.

Watching the systems at play—the way the veil falls away, revealing how governments handle international relations—has been striking. It’s been a stark reminder of how power is held and exercised, and how little power it can feel like the public has to do something about it.

That was part of it, as you mentioned, the other side—caring for the community in whatever ways we can, looking out for each other, and the exercise of self-protection. There’s a lot of feelings and reactions that end up coming out in the lyrics. They’re not always literal or narrative, but they contain those feelings—the impulse to react, to say something, to do something, to feel something and express it. Because, It’s been a pretty horrible thing to witness.

I’ve been writing to register to vote—I’m still an American citizen. I was writing to representatives in California and writing to Biden, this kind of regular correspondence, and feeling like the messages are increasingly desperate. You feel like you’re just saying that into the ether, that it’s not landing anywhere, but it feels like one possibility for a way you can kind of exercise your power as a constituent. In the end, you do feel pretty helpless when it feels like there’s a lot that’s out of your hands.

When the world feels overwhelming and life gets really hard, is there anything that helps you get through those moments?

MIKEY: It’s probably not the right attitude, but I personally probably just get smaller and concentrate on work, making music, and the people I know. Otherwise, some things seem too crushing, and I can’t read the news anymore. I’ve been in a bit of that state lately. 

RAVEN: It’s been a strange year and a half. I’ve just joined Instagram, which is something I was feeling pretty conflicted about—or more just uninterested in. And then, at a certain point, I felt like, for my work, maybe I should try it. I had a vague curiosity about what it would actually feel like to join, to have an account and to participate.

And so I did set up an account, and I posted a few work-related things. Then October 7 happened, and it wasn’t long after I’d set it up, I realised how incredibly useful it is for sharing things you wouldn’t see in other places.

Since that point, I’ve continued to feel really conflicted about using it, especially now that Mark Zuckerberg has taken away fact-checking—which things can only get worse.

Yeah, it’s pretty wild.

RAVEN: It is really wild—and really dangerous. But I still find that it’s really useful for learning about what other people are doing or just hearing from others around all the issues that I care about or want to stay informed about.

Even though there’s a danger in being confronted with so much in such a concentrated format, I also recognise how a community can exist there. You can feel not as alone in the frustrations, the sadness, or whatever it is that these world events and the state of the world make you feel. There’s something comforting about seeing the activity of people who are also reacting to it.

So, I don’t really want my answer to be that I go on Instagram when I feel down—but it does create some kind of balance, or ballast, to it. Music really helps too—just playing music. I was feeling down today, and we ran through some songs because we have a show coming up. And it was making me feel nice to play.

Listening to music changes your channel a bit. Playing, because it’s such a physical act, you have to focus on it. That physical engagement is part of what can be comforting.

Your album is called Look Familiar. That’s the name of one of the songs on the album, too. Why did you choose that for an album title? Does it tie to a theme?

RAVEN: There was no theme to the album that we set out to follow, but when we were coming up with song titles—because we’re not very good at that—we’d just be naming them at the last minute, and sometimes they’re not really connected to the songs at all. But I was looking at some subject lines from emails that my mom had sent me.

We’re really close. I communicate with her a lot. She lives by herself out in the desert in New Mexico. She’s maybe from a generation that uses technology in her own way, so often she’ll put the entire body of a message in the subject, and there just won’t be anything in the email itself. Some of her subjects were really funny or just funny imagery.

Even though “look familiar” is not necessarily an interesting couple of words together, that was on the list of things, so we went from there. Then we ended up using one of her paintings for the album art. Everything converged and made sense—not because we had intended to make that happen, but it just sort of did in the end.

One of the people in the painting is my dad. She went back to school and studied art when they divorced when I was young. This was a painting that she did post-divorce. It was kind of loaded. It’s a way, I think, for me to bring the past and other people—family members in other places—into something that I’m doing now because I live so far away from them.

‘RTNW’ PAINTING BY JANE MAHON, 1991 

That’s really beautiful. Another song, ‘The Lawn’ has a connection to one of your family members as well.

RAVEN: Yeah, that’s my paternal grandmother. 

She lived in a commune?

RAVEN: A desert community out on the east side of the San Gabriel Mountains in LA, in Southern California. In the ’50s, they started selling parcels of land, thinking—imagining—it was going to be like Palm Springs or something, but it never really came to fruition.

She lived in this small community that’s half-built and right on the edge of things. That land, 40 years before she moved there, was a socialist commune, and there are still remnants of it. There’s a kiln—this stone structure on the dirt road that her house was on—and a couple of other things dotted around.

The commune didn’t survive. The other parts of the community didn’t want the socialists taking hold there, so they did some pretty nasty things, like turning off their water—kind of sabotaging their water rights—so that their orchards wouldn’t flourish and that sort of thing.

I spent a lot of time there when I was a kid and would go down to visit her in my 20s. So, a lot of that environment is lodged pretty deep in my subconscious.

Obviously, you moved to Australia because you found love. You met at a gig you played together, right? 

RAVEN: Yeah!

MIKEY: It was the last Grass Widow show, and Total Control played the show in Oakland in 2013. We had a mutual friend who was playing in Total Control at the time, David West, who does Rat Columns. He was living in San Francisco at the time, and he kind of set that up in a weird way.

That’s so lovely. Mikey, you’ve talked about the record, and said it felt like a step forward for you and it felt real fresh and new. What kind of things did you guys try on the record that made it fresh for you? 

MIKEY: It maintained a freshness for me because I backed away and let other people in a little more. 

Did that feel hard for you? 

MIKEY: No, not at all. Any record I’m involved in, by the time I get to the end of it, I’m pretty conflicted about the damn thing anyway, and it’s hard for me to enjoy. It takes time for me to come out the other side feeling joyous about it.

Usually, it takes some nice words from people like yourself to realise it’s okay. I think leaving even more space helps. If you’ve got people like Alex to make music with—he’s so talented and thinks so hard about what he’s going to do in a given space—you want to allow him as much room as he needs. That definitely influenced how I went about making the tunes. Getting to the end and hearing what he and Shauny decided to do on the songs makes it much easier for me to enjoy. If it were just me and Raven, my lulls would be even worse.

When you’ve got other people bringing their own ideas, you can listen back and go, ‘Ah, that’s so sick.’ So no, I don’t think it was hard. There were probably moments where it was hard to step back because I’ve been a bit of a control freak in a lot of my bands, maybe out of necessity. But once I got over it, I think it’s better, and it’ll be better in the long run.

For a good while, we even thought about not calling it a Green Child record because it didn’t feel like a continuation of the other two records, but I’m glad we didn’t change the name in the end. It seems to fit.

RAVEN: Yeah, maybe they’re not as different as we think they are. But it’s just getting used to hearing other people, other people’s ideas too, like in the evolution of it.

I like the idea of a name also being able to contain different versions and different things, different records with different configurations. 

MIKEY: Yeah, like, even Total Control records, for instance. A lot of those records didn’t have the same lineup of people, or, the songwriters changed over time. I like a band being able to be a bit malleable.

There’s been a Total Control record in the works for a little while now, hasn’t there?

MIKEY: There’s a kind-of-finished Total Control record sitting in limbo. I’m not sure—it got put on hold. By the time we finished it, people had moved interstate, and we weren’t really an active band anymore. So the personal motivation to get it over the line has dropped off. Maybe it’ll just disappear. Who knows?

Was it fun making it?

MIKEY: Yeah, that’s the weird thing. I realised when I finished it that I cared more about that than releasing it. It was interesting. I realised that with a lot of music—it made me think about a lot of the music I make—and how it’s often not about releasing it or turning it into a product. Sometimes, it’s just about taking all these three-quarter-finished things on my computer and turning them into something I’m done with. And, it allows my mind to start other things. It was fun making it. It was fun to finish it, and maybe that’s all I needed from it. Not everything has to come out.

Totally. I do a lot of writing that never ends up coming out but doing it helped me with whatever was happening in my life or it documents how I was thinking or feeling. Also, though, with the interviews/conversations that I do for Gimmie, I find it’s about the connection with others.

MIKEY: Yeah, totally. Nearly all my friends seem to be the people I’m in bands with. Most of my social engagements throughout the week are with them. The joy of just coming up with something—even if that record never came out—was worth it, I think. Just doing it for so long made it worthwhile.

One of the highlights for me on the album is the song ‘Feet Are Rebels’. I love the guitar line of that song. It just soars and keeps climbing and climbing. 

MIKEY: That would be Alex. He did write to us afterward and was like, ‘That was the first thing I came up with, and I’m kind of embarrassed by it.’ He thought it was just a bit over the top—just ridiculous—for that song. I was like, ‘Man, that’s staying.’ But I guess that one almost didn’t make the album because it’s not one of Raven’s favs.

Really?

RAVEN: It went through a few evolutions. Like Mikey was saying, when you’re so involved in the mixing and recording, you kind of lose perspective. I was like, ‘What is this song? I don’t know.’ Then Alex came in and was like, ‘Sounds like The Cars,’ or at least he heard The Cars in it. So I’m glad he ran with that—I feel like that made sense to me.

But, I could never quite shake the feeling of questioning whether it was any good, you know? Like, was it worth being on the record or worth playing? I mean, I could be convinced, but it’s just one that I lost perspective on.

I understand that half the ideas were from you, Raven, and the other half from Mikey. What were some of your personal influences while making it? It was made over four years, right?

MIKEY: God, I don’t know how… Yeah, I guess some of the initial ideas are probably four years old—who knows? We probably only put a conscious effort into making a record over the last year or so. 

RAVEN: The ideas are probably drifting around for a while.

MIKEY: I have no idea about influences anymore. There are certain songs that feel like obvious rip-offs to me—like, there’s a very specific idea where I wanted to rip-off. I don’t know if you picked up on any of that.

There’s a demo version that doesn’t sound like this, but as soon as we started jamming ‘Easy Window’ it basically turned into Tusk by Fleetwood Mac straight away. I was like, ‘Let’s just roll with that—lean hard in that direction and be shameless about it.’ Because, you know, sometimes you do try to rip something off. But because we’re our idiot selves, it’s not gonna come out sounding like the intended object.

RAVEN: Someone called it though. Was it Rory? 

MIKEY: Yeah. A few people have called that one out.

RAVEN: It’s the drums. As far as direct influences, I feel like it’s all kind of swirling around—whatever comes out, and then having other people with their own ‘soup’ of inspiration ends up being something completely different anyway. Everyone’s got their own reference points.

I do feel like this record sounds particularly different because of everything Alex brings to it. He has these certain notes or combinations of notes that he uses, that give it this kind of medieval frog bent [laughs]. I love that he just goes for it too.It feels really free.

He doesn’t make it sound indulgent. It’s just like, this is what needs to happen in this particular place. When you open up a songwriting process to other people, they come back with ideas you wouldn’t have thought of. Everything Alex has done is not something I would have thought of, but that’s the nice thing about collaborating.

MIKEY: Yeah.What I was trying to say before is that the influences are more secondary. Like, you start a song without an influence, and then you realise there’s something in it—like The Cars or something. Then, I start to go down that path.

Like, the ballad—which I can’t remember the name of—did not start out sounding like a Serge Gainsbourg song. But as soon as it started, I was like, ‘Ah, I said to Shawny, just play drums like that Serge Gainsbourg track.’

It’s not like I wake up and think, ‘I’m going to write a song that sounds like Serge Gainsbourg,’ but it’s more like, ‘Oh, I accidentally started something that sounds like it could or should go in that direction.’

Although that’s not true. There’s one, ‘The Lawn.’You know, New Musik? ‘The Lawn’ was made totally trying to write a New Musik-type song.

Do each of you have a particular song on the album that you’re really happy with?

RAVEN: I really like that ‘The Lawn’ New Musik-type song. I feel like it’s challenging to play, but when we get it right, I really think I like that one a lot. But then the other one, called ‘Private Laugh,’ is sort of like that idea initially came to us a few years ago, it had just been drifting around and then came together right at the end of the process of getting all of the album songs together.

It came up pretty quickly, and I didn’t really think too much of it. It just felt like a good addition to the album, and maybe it sounded different from the other songs. But now that we’ve been playing it and practicing to play it live on a show, that’s becoming my favourite song to play. It feels like like the recorded version. Although, I don’t know, I don’t go back and listen to any of them. There are the songs that you’re writing, and then there are the songs that you’re recording and mixing, and then they’re out. This is the first time we’ve ever played any of these songs live, and I’m pretty nervous about it, actually. 

We’re excited to see it live! We’ll be at Jerkfest this year. 

MIKEY: Cool. 

Jerkfest is always a highlight of our year! We get to see so many cool bands and people that we love. We also feel so inspired by it and everyone. I chatted with Alex a few weeks back and he was telling me that you guys have been practicing. How’s it all going? 

MIKEY: It’s going good. Alex is good to have in it because he’s not a ‘half-baked, it should be right on the night’ kind of person. He’s more like, ‘We must practice this until there’s no chance of anything falling apart.’ We probably need a bit of that kind of whipping into gear. We’re getting there.

We’ve got two practices a week for the next three weeks, so I think we’re looking good. It’s been funny, I look forward to playing, but I also look forward to getting these over with so we can write new tunes again [laughs].

What’s something that’s made you a better songwriter over the years?

MIKEY: I would never call myself a songwriter because I can’t write lyrics. I can write riffs and stuff. Sometimes I can get my ideas from A to B a little better on a production level. Like, I used to have an idea, and then what I wanted to sound like at the end—I couldn’t get to because I didn’t have the skill to get to that point. Maybe that’s just gotten a little easier.

RAVEN: I feel like if I am any better at it now than I was like 10 years ago, it’s just because of watching you [Mikey] mix things and write things for other projects, and even just the way that you’ve approached these songs. There’s maybe something structural… I don’t know what it is exactly, but I do feel like I’ve learned a lot. Some of it is probably technical—understanding the program and what the possibilities are, which I still feel like I only understand a tiny smidgen of what’s possible.

But being able to navigate it a little bit easier helps fully form a song, or at least I have more elements than like, ‘I’ve got this idea in my head.’ Because I feel like, as soon as I have an idea, it’s just gone. So if I can’t get it down in some form, then that’s it.

MIKEY: My problem is I’ve ran out of good riffs.

RAVEN: The riffs run dry. 

MIKEY: It gets harder and harder. 

Because you do mix and master other people’s music so extensively, Mikey, and there’s a lot of technical side to how you work, and then obviously making music yourself would be more emotional and intuitive—do you have to switch that technical side off when you’re playing?

MIKEY: Yeah, that’s easy. The feeling of working on people’s music during the day most of the time does not feel creative at all. It’s a totally different mindset, and it doesn’t interfere with my feelings about making music or my desire to make music.

Usually, the first part of when I’m making music is not very technological at all. It’s scrapping together an idea as quickly as I can. I still think I’m a pretty scrappy musician. I don’t think much has changed over time. Usually, it’s just finding new instruments or programs to kind of feel inspired about.

For me, there’s usually a point where I’m finding something new—be it a new instrument that I can’t play very well or a new program. There’s a point where I get good enough to make something, but I’m still ridiculously naive at that thing. And there’s a window there where most of my favourite ideas come from because you can do these simple things. Now, there are certain riffs I wouldn’t write on a guitar that I would have when I was 15, because I’m like, ‘You can’t write that.’ But if you’ve got something new that you don’t quite know what you’re doing, you can go back to that mindset and be a teenager again. For me, it’s usually finding that window where something’s still raw and fun and stupid.

I love that! 

MIKEY: It’s a fun mindset to be in. On the other hand, I really respect people when they craft and can write a perfect pop song. Alex is a good example of someone that to my eyes, he really tries to do something properly all the time. 

I love both ways.

MIKEY: Yeah, that’s a good thing to be open. 

What’s something that you’ve been really invested in lately?

MIKEY: Because I’m working on modern music a lot, a lot of my spare time is looking up music for the compilations that I’ve done on the side. Often the thrill of the chase and finding things with that whole process is pretty inspiring to me.

There’s not really much in my life that’s outside of music. We watch a lot of films.

Anything you’ve found lately that you’ve really loved? 

MIKEY: There’s been a bunch of stuff, and that’s going to be on another comp that should be out next year. I find stuff I like all the time. When it’s late at night and you stumble across something that is just mind-altering, it’s like, ‘Oh my god, this is like my favourite song ever for now.’ I don’t find that as easily as I get older, so when it does happen and it’s that strong, it’s cool! It feels the same as it did when I was 10 years old.

Can you remember the first song you were obsessed with when you were young? 

MIKEY: From two, I was mega into Rod Stewart and KISS. In 1979, it was ‘I Was Made For Loving You’ and a few songs off the Dynasty album. There was also a Rod Stewart album that I had the poster for on the wall. At two or three years old, they’re the only two cassettes I had. I was probably just obsessed about every detail, as much as you can be when you’re three years old and just trying to understand what music is.

What about you Raven?

RAVEN: I was thinking about my dad’s record collection and INXS, and about the albums that first made it over into America and were big. It would be something that I would have heard in there, probably the Beatles’ White Album or something. But something that got me personally…

I feel like there’s a moment when you— not when you feel like you could make that music, but that you realise that it makes you feel something really strong. Whether you make music or you’re just listening to music and a fan of it, there’s a particular moment where it affects your whole world or transforms your whole perspective.

I don’t know what that first moment was of feeling like I could make music. It probably came way later, actually. Well, I was in band, I played saxophone when I was seven, and I feel like that was my first experience. But it wasn’t really like what I listened to and then what I played. It was like what we played in the school band versus, you know, the things that I listened to—my Mariah Carey tape that just made me feel really good.

Slowly those things start to come together and, you know, you realise you can play and it gives you a similar feeling to listening to things that you love.

MIKEY: I definitely didn’t hear KISS or Rod Stewart and think I can do this. The idea of being inspired directly to make music, I’m sure that can’t wait later on. I have no idea how.

RAVEN: I do remember being in a school band at around 11, playing some kind of John Williams soundtrack, like Jurassic Park or something, which I think we did play, and feeling genuinely moved by it, and feeling part of something. I feel like some people talk about their early days, like singing in church or playing an instrument in a church band, and how it was their first experience of playing something and feeling like part of a whole. Playing Jurassic Park in sixth grade was probably that moment for me [laughs].

That’s cool. It’s funny that you mentioned the Jurassic Park theme, when Jhonny would play solo shows he’d start of his set with that and I’d be standing out in the crowd and I’d watch everyone around me hear it and get so stoked on it. It’s a pretty magical piece of music.

RAVEN: That’s so great.

I love seeing music move people and being in a space where you can share that. During the pandemic, it was the first time I hadn’t been to gigs for a prolonged period since I started going to them as a teen. When I started going back to shows, I realised how much I missed it, and that there’s nothing that gives me the same feeling.

MIKEY: Totally. 

RAVEN: Yeah, I feel really lucky to have experienced what I have. Whatever happens in the future, just to have had the experience of playing and touring— that really particular thing. Whether you’re in the audience or playing music on stage, there’s nothing else like it, really. 

MIKEY: Especially small shows. It’s the visceral thrill of being face to face with someone, whether you’re playing or watching. It’s something I don’t think I’ve experienced in any other fashion.

I’m forever fascinated by the mysteries of creating and music and connecting and sharing. 

RAVEN: I think about how much work it takes. We’ve done a tiny bit of work with our music for film and a little for TV, and it’s given me some insight into how people make a film—how organised you have to be, how many layers there are, how many people need to be involved, and how long the whole process is. There’s this will, this intention to create something, and an idea of what that is, what someone wants to communicate, or what a group of people want to communicate.

And I feel like, on a smaller scale with music, all of that is channeled into this media.All this work has gone into it— the ideas, the intentions, the imagery, the lyricism… everything. As derivative as some music is, or fits into defined genres, there’s still a lot that goes into it, especially in bands we listen to. I’m not saying that pop music doesn’t have something behind it, but I also feel there’s something special about the intention behind the music created in the spaces we’re in. Small shows, small runs of records—it’s ambition is to be made, to create, and to express something. And that’s what you end up hearing, or seeing, or feeling when you listen to it.

Last question: In the past year (2024), what’s something that’s brought you a lot of joy?

MIKEY: Hmmm, joy?

RAVEN: It’s been a hard year, honestly. But I feel really fortunate to be able to make music. In my other life, my job is making furniture. I share a workshop with a handful of people, and we’ve got this collective thing that’s grown. It feels like I’m really fortunate to have both the band space and this work space. I mean, it’s work; people hire me and make furniture. But there’s a lot of creativity, ideas, and information and experience shared amongst the people I work around. I wouldn’t have called it “joy” but it is something that really makes me happy, and I’m really grateful for it. I’ve spent so much energy on that and into the music and I feel like both of those things feel affirming and are positive places to be channeling energy at the moment. So, I think that would be it for me—just feeling happy about those opportunities.

MIKEY: It always comes back to music, and making music with people. There’s lots of ups and downs with, so the word “joy” is probably, maybe it’s not as straightforward as that. But I was thinking learning a new instrument over the last year has brought me a lot of frustration, but a lot of joy.

That’s the instrument I can see there beside you?

MIKEY: Yeah, the double bass. It’s going to take me about 10 frickin’ years to get  anywhere with it [laughs]. Also, I’ve been jamming a lot. Since we moved back to the city from the coast, over the last year, Eddy Current started jamming every week again—just because. Once we started working on the album and the idea of playing live, Green Child started jamming every week too.

We also started jamming with Shaun, our drummer, who’s one of our best friends. We used to live with him down the coast, but once we moved away, there was a period where we didn’t see each other as much. But making these regular times for jamming was key. It’s not just like, ‘This is when we’re gonna practice,’ it’s also the time I get to hang out with my friends and family.

I’ve got another band, Kissland, with my buddy Max, and just having these moments—because if I don’t have bands, sometimes months can go by without seeing some of my best friends—but being in a band forces that opportunity to hang out and make stuff every week. It definitely has its frustrating times, but overall, it’s bringing a lot of joy.

Is there a new Eddy Current record in the works?

MIKEY: Not really. We decided to start jamming about a year ago, or maybe even a year and because we jam in here, we record every week, and we’ve written a heap of songs. But it’s almost just this insular thing that we do for ourselves, and we don’t really talk about putting out an album or anything. It’s just sitting on all these stupid recordings.

I think that’s what has made it so much fun: because we don’t really talk about the outside world so much. For now, we’re just happy being that. 

I love that you said that ‘we just jam because’!

MIKEY: it’s just a good time for everyone. People’s jobs have changed, or their kids have gotten old enough where they’ve got spare time. So, it’s just a good time for everyone.

I don’t have Total Control playing anymore. We’ve got this space that we can jam and leave stuff set up. It’s just a good feeling for all of us to do it every week.

What both of you and Raven are doing, you’re creating things and you’re connecting with people that you love. And that’s the base human things that you need to. For me, I know that’s what I need to have a happy life. Lots of shit could be happening in my life, but if I have the ability to have those two things on a pretty regular basis, I feel like I’m like the richest person in the whole world. 

RAVEN: Yeah!

MIKEY: Yeah, totally. 

RAVEN: Well put.

MIKEY: I do find music baking also really frustrating sometimes. Not just with other people, but by myself. I can have extreme lows when I feel like I’m just making crap. I don’t really think about how music makes me happy. It’s more like, it just doesn’t even seem like a choice. It’s what I do and have always done without even thinking about why I’m doing it. 

You’re compelled. It’s like breathing, basically, and if you don’t do it, you’ll die. 

MIKEY: Totally. It’s not like you wake up one morning and go, ‘Damn, I love breathing!’ [laughs]. That’s it—you just do it.

LISTEN/BUY Look Familiar via Hobbies Galore (AUS) and Upset The Rhythm (UK).

Armour, 100% and Bloodletter’s Lena Molnar: ‘I’ve always been a somewhat confrontational person’

Handmade collage by B

Lena is a force of nature—an advocate, researcher, and community builder whose work spans music, activism, and disability justice. From creating zines to process grief to putting on shows that strived to reshape Meanjin/Brisbane’s punk scene by prioritising non-male artists, to her current efforts in preventing violence against women with disabilities, she is driven by a deep commitment to change.

She’s not afraid to talk about hard things like death, power, and systemic inequality. Lena challenges the status quo through grassroots organising, academic research, and award-winning advocacy, carving out space for those too often overlooked.

In this conversation, she reflects on loss, activism, and the ongoing evolution of both herself and her communities. Gimmie also dives into her musical journey, creative philosophy, progressive punk ethics, and the themes behind her projects—including her latest Naarm/Melbourne-based goth-rock post-punk band, Armour, as well as 100%, Bloodletter, and more.

 LENA: You’re a really good writer! 

GIMMIE: Thank you! I’ve been doing this for a long time—30 years, in fact. For a really long time, I didn’t believe I was even a writer. I doubted myself because I used to cop so much flack from people telling me I couldn’t write—mostly from guys in the scene. I was actually told that I should go back and pass high school English, along with so many other snarky comments that constantly put me down.

I used to get upset about it, but then one day, something changed for me. I realised: hey, I’m doing what I love, I’m having a lot of fun, I’m making these meaningful connections and doing work that means something to me. I feel like I have purpose.

LENA: There’s a couple of things I want to speak to there. I think you’ll just end up doing the thing that you want to do, regardless of what people tell you or say is the right way of doing something. If you feel good doing it, you’ll just keep on doing it or find a way to do it, because you feel bad when you’re not doing it.

You’ll feel like you’ll be doing it in some way—either professionally, in your own way, or by finding an outlet to do it, like a zine, writing a book, or whatever. Or you’ll just be having those conversations anyway. I’m speaking about you, but that’s the same for doing some sort of art, having a creative practice, or finding whatever your thing is.

If you’re a creative person or have some outlet, there’s always going to be people—especially when you’ve got some sort of marginalised experience—who tell you, ‘nah, the way that you’re doing it is not the way; it’s not my way.’

But if you do it from your heart, it doesn’t matter what the “right way” is. People are going to connect with it. If they connect with it, then it’s going to foster your own community and your own platform. That’s how you know it’s the right way, regardless of what the outlet ends up being.

Whether it’s through a zine, a book, a magazine, a piece of journalism, or even just using the radio or whatever, you’re obviously really good at drawing out conversation and stories from people. You have your own storytelling practice, and that’s really important. Like, fuck the correct writing conventions. People engage with how you tell stories, Bianca. It’s so cool.

Thank you. I just really care about the people I interview. I would never speak to someone whose work I didn’t find interesting or whose work I didn’t enjoy. My time is really limited because I do so many different things, so I have to just focus on what I really love.

I’ve been wanting to chat with you for ages—even as far back as when we saw you at Nag Nag Nag. I especially love your band Bloodletter and your earlier band, Tangle. It’s been really cool to see your evolution as a creative and how one thing informs the next. It’s the coolest thing to watch people grow.

LENA: Thank you. It’s really special that you mentioned Tangle, not my first band, but one of the first bands that played a lot and I got to do a bunch of things with. It’s nice that you can see the connection between what I was doing then and what I’m doing now. One of the privileges of staying in the creative arts community, like punk or any underground scene is seeing the beautiful ways that people change and grow, but become more and more themselves. That’s just an honour to grow up together in the different ways that we do. 

In my experience of community, I’ve seen that sometimes people don’t want things to change—particularly in the punk and hardcore scenes. There’s that other side of things where, when people try to grow and evolve, others want to pull them back, saying, ‘Hey, no, but this is cool. Let’s just stay here.’

LENA: I’ve definitely felt that in many different ways, like with regards to style and genre. Especially in hardcore, there are very fixed ways of thinking. I have a respect for that in some regards, but also, I am not held down to any preconceptions that there’s a certain way to be—for me, at least.

It’s actually quite unhealthy for me to think that I have to be a certain way to be authentic or to be, like, quote-unquote, punk or whatever. That’s sort of the antithesis of how I relate to creative practice and the subculture that I’ve grown to love and be a part of. I wouldn’t want to hold anyone else back that way, but I understand why people sort of feel that way.

I feel it’s really important to hold things down in a particular way. But yeah, it’s a devil’s bargain of, yeah, these are the things that keep us safe and the logics of genre or punk, per se, or hardcore, while also it should be about letting people in and letting people be free to be their freaky selves as well.

I read an interview with you where you talked about growing up with punk and DIY. You mentioned that, in your youth, you noticed conflicts and approaches in hardcore and heavier music that were a little at odds with things in your life.

LENA: I have an interpretation of a punk ethic that is very progressive, very open, and about changing and supporting people to change while being accountable as well. There’s an openness to conflict in that sense, where conflict brings about disruption and change.

But there have been things that have happened in my life where people are very resistant to that kind of accountability—especially because of their own behaviour. These situations have been quite damaging within communities, and it’s severed ties due to the inability to communicate or because of what’s led up to some really poor choices. Yeah, violence and abuse within interpersonal relationships and smaller scenes in communities.

To me, that’s at odds with my personal ethics, which I drew from the people I had the privilege of hanging out with early on when I was coming into punk. That’s really informed my entire life. But I understand not everyone sees punk—or lives in the world—providing that kind of ethos.

And yet, not everyone has the same viewpoint as me, and that’s totally fine. I live in a community where folks don’t all have to agree. But, if you don’t agree with people, what do you do about that? 

It seems like it’s getting harder to have these conversations, even just in everyday life, because everyone is so this way or that way. I’ve always thought that opening up a dialogue with someone is how you can actually start to affect change.

LENA: Totally. If you can’t talk about it, then you probably can’t do anything about it. A lot of people are afraid of being wrong because they think that means they have to change, or that they have to do something that means their way of thinking hasn’t been right. It’s too difficult for them. And that’s not just a punk thing. Every community suffers with that. It’s very nuanced. There are some really beautiful people in our community who are quite open to having these kinds of conversations. I’ve been inspired by them throughout my life. I call a lot of those people my very good friends.

Was punk scene the first community that you came to? 

LENA: I grew up in a household where I had family around a lot of the time. There were a lot of folks who had migrated from the war, in a community with a lot of people who were struggling in different ways. I always lived around a lot of different kinds of people, and my community was always like family—extended family, neighbours.

There were a lot of interesting conversations about ageing and mental health that were normalised very early in my life because of my family’s mixed cultural background. We talked about trauma and death quite a lot, very early.

Those kinds of conversations meant that community was much more of a flexible idea to me: Who’s around you? What are you doing together? But also, what do you need from each other at that time?

I’ve got a really open idea about what community is, but I’ve never been the fixed-group, nuclear-family kind of girl. It’s always been more inclusive. I think that way of growing up has really imprinted on me, it’s a really special way to grow up.

You mentioned growing up where conversations about death were normalised. I know about a decade ago, you did a zine called Good Grief, and it explored grief and loss. I’m interested to talk about this; in the past few years I lost both of my parents. It’s been something that is on my mind a lot.

LENA: I’m sorry that you lost both your parents. 

I’m sorry you’ve lost your dad too. My parents no longer being here is something that still feels really strange for me. I’m not sure if it will ever not feel that way.

LENA: That was basically the reason why my friend Erica [Newby] and I put that zine together. We both lost a parent within a couple of months of each other, and we found that no one except for each other got it. My friends were really beautiful at the time; they tried, but mostly, it was like, ‘If there’s anything I can do,’ or ‘I have no words.’ It was very much like, ‘You tell me,’ like, you do the work. Then I started getting a lot of ‘You’re so strong.’ I’ve been getting that my whole life—‘Look at you go, you’re so strong,’ and ‘You fucking kill it.’ And I’m just crumbling inside.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Same! I also get, ‘You’re always so positive!’ It’s like, yeah, but you don’t see me on my bad days when I’m in a ball, crying and feeling so low.

LENA: I feel like I recognise that about you in the few moments that we have seen each other.

I’ve experienced very deep sadness, depression and crippling anxiety in my life, and in those lowest, low times, I felt no one was there for me, I didn’t have any support despite knowing A LOT of people; obviously that’s changed having Jhonny in my life. But because of those experiences, though, I always try to be there for others and try to remain on the positive side of things. But it’s not always realistic.

LENA: Yeah. And it does damage trying to be like that a lot. I had a feeling that we were gonna talk about death and grief. It’s washed all over me—I’m a death girlie. [laughs]. I’ve always been a spooky little bitch!

[Laughter]

LENA: I guess I had lost people prior to my dad dying; I was 22. But no one so close to me like my dad was. My dad was my best friend. My friend Erica lost her mother to cancer, so it was two very different kinds of grief. My dad passed away very suddenly. I was on the phone to him one day, and two days later, he was dead. Heartbreaking.

Whereas Erica was anticipating the loss of her mother, and that’s also very tragic, as anyone who loses a parent or a loved one over a long illness knows. Both are bad. Especially at that age when you’re still coming to terms with yourself, and everyone around you is still quite young too. In Anglo-Queensland, where we were, people offered lots of prayers but weren’t really sure what to do. So we came up with the idea of doing the zine. We reached out to folks that we knew, and beyond, to submit whatever creative stuff they had about their experience of loss—about what it felt like. We wanted to share that with others so they could gain some insight into what grieving can be like, and to normalise those conversations a little bit at that stage in our lives.

I still have a copy of one of the masters of that zine I made, and I look at it every now and then. I’ve lost people since. We’ve already talked about change, and now we’re talking about death. The only constants in life are change and death. I’m continuously reminding myself of that. I talk about it with my staff. You just have to roll with that—change and death. Those are the constants in life. You can’t be afraid of it. The better you get at anticipating it, but not living in fear of it—living in spite of it and building your life around the choices you make despite these things being inevitabilities—you’ll make better choices.

But you’ve got to be able to support people in their fear of those things as well. Especially folks who aren’t brought up in a way or are unable to come to terms with talking about it. It is scary, and people run away from it. In the disability community, there’s a very close relationship between how people perceive disability and death. We’re living reminders of mortality, and that you don’t have all the strength you think you do. Something could happen to you, and the world isn’t built for that.

You recently won the National Disability Award for Excellence in Innovation.

LENA: My organisation did. I delivered a program through my organisation called Changing the Landscape, which provides resources on preventing violence against women with disabilities. The program targeted a national audience of practitioners in the disability service sector, as well as gender-based violence workers. These resources include videos, posters, and materials based on a 100-page document detailing the rates of violence and what can be done to stop it. They’re beautiful resources that I’m very proud of, especially considering I did a lot of that work just after a significant surgery. While I’m the program manager for that suite of resources, it took a lot of work on my part, but I’m just happy to have been part of such a dedicated team.

What motivated you to start working in that kind of space? 

LENA: Gendered-violence or disability?

Both.

LENA: I have experiences of both. I had trained as a sociologist and did my honours thesis in urban sociology about gentrification—specifically, how people perceive their role in changing public space in a highly gentrified area known as West End. I was really interested in some things that didn’t end up getting discussed in the findings or didn’t emerge from the data. And that’s because I didn’t draw out a particular feminist analysis on the project, which was limited by the nature of an honours project.

So, I then just got into the swing of being a research assistant. But all the while, I was doing activist work on the side.

Before that, I had been doing activist work around gender-based violence, fundraising and learning how to mediate through grassroots organisations. I had been involved in this kind of work for a while. 

After the publication of Good Grief, people started asking Erica and me if we were going to table the zine somewhere or if we were planning to do a distro. At the time, we had no intention of doing anything like that. We just wanted to create the zine and put it out there. But after people kept reaching out, asking us to do more, we realised there was a need in the zine space. We thought about what we would want to do, and we decided to start collecting and distributing zines written by women and queer people to sell at a market in West End.

We started doing that, and then I began incorporating records that were not just from cis men—bringing in women and non-binary people into the lineups. Eventually, Erica didn’t have the energy to keep going, so I continued on my own. Because of my priorities in the music scene, it ended up being a little more music-focused than zines, but I always maintained a bit of both.

This background relates to your question because, in doing all of this, I began booking shows here and there. The key was that there would never be an all-male band on the lineup. As a result, the shows I booked in Brisbane at the time had very creative lineups—something different from what was happening in the punk scene. At that time, it was mostly bands with the same members, and while they were really talented, the shows felt repetitive. Sometimes that’s cool, but when it’s the only type of show you can attend, it becomes limiting. I wanted to create something different.

Every other show I did would be a fundraiser for an organisation like Sisters Inside. I also started selling secondhand T-shirt runs to raise money for Sisters Inside. It became a part of what I was doing—some form of fundraising or activism, mediation, and being that girlie who always had something to say about what was going on and why certain things were such a problem. I became a little bit problematic but just stopped caring.

Going back to my time as a research assistant, after finishing my degree, I had no intention of working in the gender-based violence space. However, when a scholarship came up at RMIT University, it seemed to align perfectly with my skill set. They were looking for someone with experience in visual methods and a background in gender-based violence activism to research how young people engage with social media to prevent gender-based violence. I saw it as an opportunity to do something new, to align something I was already doing with my skillset, and to see what would happen. I had never really thought about doing a PhD, but it seemed like a good opportunity, especially since I was starting to feel burnt out being that girlie in Brisbane.

I had a lot of friends in Melbourne who knew what I was about and wouldn’t make me feel like I was alone. So it just felt like a good time to take the opportunity and run with it. 

When I got to the end of my PhD, I was looking for work outside of academia because I don’t see the point in doing research if you can’t share the knowledge and apply it somewhere. I still feel like that. One of the roles that was coming up was at this organisation that I work for now, which is called Women with Disabilities Victoria.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

To bring the conversation back to music, do you feel that each bands you’ve been a part of has represented different parts of your personal and musical development? 

LENA: I wouldn’t say different parts because I don’t like to separate the self. Maybe at one point, I would have, but I’ve gone through a bunch of stuff in the last couple of years, and I’ve done a lot of deep reflection on everything—the shit, all the little things I’ve done. Definitely, in my younger years, other people would have asked, ‘How do you make sense of all this? You do this, and you do that, and you do this—how is it all the same?’ But in my mind, when I look at all that stuff, I see it as the same girl. I see the common thread. It all makes sense to me, and I can see where it can go.

Creatively, I’ve done a lot of stuff that might not connect together on paper, but it all informs one another. It’s always been about asking, ‘What else can I do? How else can I express myself? That sounds fun, or I haven’t done that before’. That was the thinking at the time—‘I haven’t done that before. That sounds fun. That’s a nice group of people, or an interesting group of people to work with. I would really like to try that. Let’s give it a go.’ And when it stops feeling like that, you let go of it.

There have been a couple of times when I’ve been super passionate about something, and you can probably tell when you’re listening to it. It’s like, ‘Oh, all those steps, all those little pieces I’ve put together, they’ve come into play.’ But it also goes back to an old band I did. It’s like, ‘Oh, she’s still doing that. She’s still thinking about that thing, and it still matters.’ That’s how I know it’s always been about finding the best way to express myself. It doesn’t matter the genre or the medium.

I had some downtime a couple of months ago, and I was drawing a lot. To me, my drawings are the same—they’re about the same things that I write my lyrics about.

You mentioned threads; what are they?

LENA:That’s something that I’m less open about. I’d like to hear what you think. 

Thinking of your new band, Armour, even just in the name, there’s a really strong imagery to begin with. Armour feels like it’s both defensive and empowering. People go into battle wearing armour, so I was wondering if you’re exploring internal struggles or if it’s something larger and more outward?

LENA: Always, for sure. That’s always been a part of the ideas I’ve written about, throughout my practice as a creative person — as a poet, as a lyricist, as a writer. It’s stuff that I explore in my academic space as well.

I’m fascinated by struggle and change, and what people do to avoid it, or what people do when they are confronted. And that’s not necessarily a negative type of struggle or defence. It’s not something I’m always consciously aware of; it’s just something that I’m drawn to.

…I know that I’ve healed from some stuff I’ve gone through in my life because, working in the prevention of gender-based violence, for example, I see the long game. I can talk about violence all day, for example, because I know what the point is. And I see how to make change.

That’s why I’ve always been a somewhat confrontational person. But I know how to use those skills to get people, hopefully, going. I’ve got a good sense of humour to get people to think about things in a different way and bring them along for the ride, where it doesn’t have to be like this.

Part of why I really love your band 100% is because there is a lightness. I’ve read you say that the vibe of 100% is kind of like your aunt or Dolly Doctor. Any time I’m seen 100% live, it’s so joyful.

LENA: We have a cute little world that we created in that band. Like, it is what you imagine girlhood to be. And also, what maybe I do have nostalgia for. I did have moments of that typified girlhood with my friends when I was a teenager. But there’s the the dreaminess of that band— that was still, make-shift and put together through our own DIY lens, or in a futurist way of, like, what would the ideal be like? And what would we tell ourselves?

A lot of the lyrics were , okay, what would I want to hear if I was in this situation? And drawing from a few different situations that I did know about. Or if I was watching a movie, I’d think, what project would write the sweetest songs and charm each other through that? It was about supporting different aspects of songwriting between the three of us. None of us had ever done something like that before. It was really magical.

Yeah, well, it’s that— even though I really like the cover you put out that had the cake on it. That spoke to me in so many ways. One of my best friends made that cake too.

You mentioned a dreaminess, I feel Armour has a dreaminess, but a different kind of dreaminess. 

LENA: Armour is the step between 100% and Bloodletter with a touch of Tangle. But in terms of tone, it’s definitely, at times soft sweetness. But also, I’m sweet, but, if you fuck up me or my family, I will fucking kill you vibes! [laughs]. That’s what being community minded is about, right?

[Laughter]. One of the songs I really love on the EP is ‘Heat Dream’. It has this surreal vibe. 

LENA: What makes you say that? 

Well, for one thing, the imagery, the fantasy and the dreaming in its lyrics.

LENA: There is a literalness of, like, I don’t do well in the heat [laughs]. It’s verbatim describing my experience of not doing well on a hot night. Knowing that others feel the same as well and taking it to the extreme. Growing up in the tropics, like in Brisbane, but also, like, there’s definitely being— like, is this fantasy? Am I awake right now? What was going on? What the fuck was that dream?

Your song ‘Sides of a Coin’ has a bit of a different tone to the others. 

LENA: People are really engaging with that song. It’s really nice. I wrote the lyrics to that one really quickly. Those ones that just poured out. We weren’t sure whether or not we liked it as a band. So I tried to do something else with it. But I just kept going back to, this is how it has to be. 

Lyrically it mentions about breaking the chains and setting yourself free, and there’s a sense of freedom from constraint. Maybe a feeling of liberation? You mention seeing the coin from the other side; what’s the significance of that?

LENA: I’m going to speak abstractly, because people will have their own interpretations. When I wrote that, I was thinking about the nature of truth. 

I really like to write songs that engage with other songs, that sort of build a world. But that song, in itself, is a conversation. You see the coin from the other side—truth is subjective. There’s evidence, obviously. But if a rock fell between you and me, and someone who couldn’t see the rock asked us to describe it, how would we do so?

From your side, you might see the rock has some moss on it, some speckles, maybe a big crack from when it hit the ground. Thankfully, neither of us were hurt. From where I’m sitting, I can see that there’s light behind you, so you can notice details that I can’t. On my side, it’s the same rock, but all I see is grime. This rock is dirty. I mostly see the shadow of this rock right now.

We’re having a conversation about what we see, and to describe the rock, the arbitrator asks, ‘Are you sure you’re looking at the same rock?’

Yes, it’s the rock on this street, blah, blah, blah. So, what is the evidence? Are we going to fight about whose rock is the correct one? Do we get an opportunity to look at the other side of the rock? Or can we agree that on your side, it’s a nice green, sparkly rock with a crack, and on mine, it’s a funky, dark, grimy rock with webs?

It’s the same rock. And it’s a beautiful rock. And we’ve both survived.

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could be open to each other’s side of the rock? 

LENA: Yeah, well, you don’t always get to that part of the conversation [laughs]. Sometimes you’re just like, can I just move the rock? 

Do you see a narrative arc for the EP? 

LENA: We just thought they sounded good in that order. Most of the songs were written at the same time. From my side, as the lyricist, they probably represent different aspects of things I was processing and responding to. I also added other bits in terms of lyrical content and other elements. 

Was there a particular thing that comes to mind when you think about that period and what you were kind of writing to? 

LENA: Something I really like about Armour is that it feels authentic as a band. I think there’s a lot in my part of it, which is about bringing people together—for healing, but also for a fight.

I was interested in the EP closer, ‘Last Train,’ because a last train could be a powerful metaphor for endings, choices, or opportunities. I also got a sense of exploring how distance or endings can bring clarity—or even healing.

LENA: That’s a really apt interpretation, without getting into the direct inspiration for that song itself. Each song has its initial influence, but if a song is conceptually strong enough, it will have a meaning that resonates with anyone’s experiences. And that was definitely something I was going for with ‘Last Train’: how do we move past an ending? What choices can we make? It’s about ownership of choice as well.

There’s a line in it that talks about breaking apart and yet making amends. Sometimes, those things can be in contradiction with each other.

LENA: A long time ago, in my early 20s, I came across the notion of creation and destruction, either in a zine or on someone’s bum patch or something like that. I spoke to it at the beginning of our chat—how, as a particular kind of troublemaker, I see change as good. But confrontation, too, can be a way to make change. It’s not the only way, of course, but I’m not afraid of conflict because it means things are moving. It can mean things are moving, as long as you know what to do with it. I try not to be too stuck in place.

That doesn’t mean I’m not stubborn. Things can hurt when you’re forced to do things outside of your control, but learning to let go is a big part of life. When you know things are ending, there’s a beauty in being open to what happens next.

I’m a big fan of saying no, so that you can rest and open yourself up for what the next yes is. I really respect when other people do that, even if it means they’ve said no to me [laughs].

I say no to a lot of things now. As Gimmie grows and so does my book and editing work, I get asked to do a lot of events, projects and stuff. I used to always say yes to everything because I felt I had to. But I’m a lot better at saying no now. I listened to this interview with a writer [Shonda Rhimes] and it really stuck with me. She talked about saying no to things without saying sorry or giving a million excuses for why you can’t do something. I used to feel bad for saying no, or people would get upset with me for not doing what they wanted or not meeting their expectations. I felt I had to apologise or explain myself. I felt bad for saying no. The writer shared that she simply replies: ‘No, I’m unavailable for that.’ And the first time I did that myself, I felt so good. That should be good enough.

LENA: It’s really respectable to know exactly where your limits are and hold up your boundaries, especially at the stage of life I’m at now. It’s a valuable thing to model for others. It’s scary how many people-pleasers I see, or how much people-pleasing behaviour I observe, where folks take on so much because they think, ‘Yeah, that’d be fun. That’d be cool. I gotta do it. Nobody else is gonna do it, or nobody else is going to do it the way I think it should be done.’

There’s a huge risk, not only in overloading yourself but also in not allowing someone else the opportunity to do it. Even if they do it a way you wouldn’t necessarily agree with, or do it differently from how you would, there’s a control aspect for some people. It’s also just a fear — the fear that if people recognise you now, they might forget that you exist later.

But there’s a beauty in being comfortable enough to say, ‘My time will come again.’

I love that! I think coming from the punk and hardcore community, something I’ve struggled with is allowing yourself to have success and actually celebrating that. I’ve always thought the mentality was weird — that when something becomes more popular, people stop liking it, even though the people creating it are still doing what they did with the same heart.

LENA: It’s not just the punk thing, but also the punk and tall poppy syndrome thing that comes with being in Australia. Like, ‘Oh, if it’s popular, it must be shit.’ 

But I’m talking about when it’s the same — or it’s probably even better than when they started. 

LENA: Yeah, like ‘sellouts,’ all that shit. I understand sort of where that skepticism comes from. I goes back to what we were talking about with gatekeeping and of the purpose in small communities — why you would gatekeep, so that you keep your community safe. You want it to be special. You also don’t want yucky people or horrible people to come in and exploit what you worked so hard for or what was so important to you and gave your life meaning, to become like an open house necessarily. So, there’s a meaningfulness and care that goes into people saying, ‘No, no, no, no, no. It’s not for everyone. You go away.’

Lately, I’ve seen a lot of gross elements coming back into shows, stuff that was happening in the ‘90s and early ‘00s, there seems to be more violence and shit behaviour from crowds. Did you see what happened at Good Things festival on the weekend? In Brisbane there was lots of young girls reporting sexual assaults with older guys grabbing at them and not allowing them to exit the pit to safety. Also, people were crowd killing and going around punching people in the pit. Predictably, Good Things festival were deleting comments about it on their social media.

LENA: Something that I was thinking about when I was talking about, the ideal part of gatekeeping is that it keeps you safe, but the thing is, in my experience, a lot of the folks who end up doing that can also be the ‘yucky’ people — or they end up being the yucky people who have the loudest voices, saying, ‘This is what punk is.’ Like, ‘If you don’t like it, go back to the back of the room, don’t come into the mosh pit,’ and all this shit. And it does, regardless of how into being part of the mosh pit you are, or your perception of what’s a good time in a shabby mosh pit, and where the boundaries are, it does impact your engagement. Like, how ready am I to participate? Or when am I going to fuck off? Because, like, ‘Oh, that person’s there. This is no longer a fun time.’ Where, like, yeah, I can withstand a little bit of pushback. But like violence is different to what we recognise as like a mosh pit. For some people who come, there are some people who come to punk spaces or hardcore spaces because they’re attracted to being enabled to be violent. 

They then — and this goes back to some folks having adopted a totally different ethos than what I found in my punk upbringing — and that’s on them, and that’s on me. But, you know, part of it is not being able to have conversations about, like, ‘Is that a way to treat another human being who’s also trying to have a good time? Can you recognise when you’ve crossed the line?’ And then bringing in other factors, like sexual assault and ableist behaviour. I’ve been at shows where folks using mobility aids are completely dehumanised, completely objectified, or treated as though they’re not even there. Or their wheelchair is just a piece of furniture that people can dump their bags on. That hurts my feelings — as an audience member, as a performer, as a member of the disability community — to see that folks in the audience, my peers, my community members, are not being recognised as human beings who are afforded the same right to enjoyment. For whatever reason, they’re either not actually being seen in the space, or where they are, the things that enable their participation are being used as, like, dumping grounds, just regular furniture for other folks. And it’s going to impact their freedom. It’s not good enough. It’s not right. But, folks just don’t think about everyone.

Exactly. That’s my point. I don’t think it’s asking too much of people to be thoughtful and mindful of other people in the same space. I’m tired of being told by bros that I’m too sensitive and punk rock is about violence and I should get out of the way so they can have fun.

LENA: You’re not too sensitive. You see everything and, yeah, I do too. Stuff that other people just don’t see. It would just take the smallest change, hey?

Yes! What are some things that never fail to make you smile? I saw you had a little gathering yesterday of friends.

LENA: Every end of year, my friends do a barbecue before everyone goes away for the holidays. My friends are really good at getting together and eating food. My friends are big eaters. We’re really good at doing nice things together.

I’m very motivated to find a thing that folks will like to do, like a movie or a thing that’s happening out in the regional areas, getting folks in a car together. Or going on a trip.

I love my friends. I’ve got the most beautiful people in my life. I’ve had some really tough things happen in the last couple of years. And it previously has been really hard for me, and it’s still really hard for me to ask for help, but they’ve shown the fuck up for me. That speaks to stuff that I’ve done for them and for community as well.

I can smile so hard, I cry when I think about the beauty of my friends, that I have the privilege of keeping in my life.

I love bringing people together. That’s a big reason why I like like to do music with other people. It brings people together in a beautiful way to think about what we have in common.

I saw in your Insta bio, that you said you’re: living deliciously. What’s that mean to you?

LENA: I really try to hold on to the good moments and make space, ‘cause my work is really hard. It’s really stressful. I’ve had a lot going on. I really try to make sure that I have delicious moments in my life and indulgent times, or even just me time. I strategically place me-time in my life, but also I have so much time for my friends. They’re beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

I try to hold that up, and I don’t think it’s just only trying to look on the sunny side of life. It’s making sure everything is in balance. ‘Cause I can easily tell when the scales have shifted to the side of no, no, no, no, no. It’s about going the other way.

Before we wrap up, I’d like to talk about Bloodletter a little more. 

LENA: Bloodletter was a band that I felt like, well, finally, I’m doing something that is the stuff that teenage me would be so proud of. I’m very proud of the recordings that we did. Fantastic group of people who liked music with some really heartbreaking songwriting. Some songs, every time we’d play them, I’d say, ‘Can we not play this song? It hurts my feelings.’

But I learned something every time I was a front person in a band. I learned how to work through that kind of thing—how much of myself to put into something—because I think it’s impossible for me not to put myself into it. But also, I learned how to work through it so it doesn’t feel like I’m bearing my soul every single time.

Jasmine [Dunn], who was in Bloodletter, played second guitar. She also plays in Armour. Moose is the main songwriter in Armour, and he had been sitting on five out of six of the songs on this current cassette for a few years. He’d demoed them and just been sitting on them. He’s a songwriting wunderkind, and we’ve been friends since maybe I was 20 or so. It’s a really lovely, long-standing friendship—he’s like a brother.

I was trying to figure out a solo project. I was teaching myself Ableton, which is still very hard. So, like, maybe in 20 years, there’ll be a solo project! [laughs]. But anyway, I sent him something I was tooling around with, and Moose said, ‘Lena, you need to be singing in a band. I’ve got some stuff I’ve been sitting on. Would you like to listen to it?’

I was like, ‘I’ve been waiting for you to tell me you had something. I’ve been waiting for a time where we were both available. Let’s do it.’ So he sent me five of the six songs that are on this tape in demo form, and I pretty much had two and a half of those songs written within a week. I broke away, and I was like, ‘I know exactly what to do. I’ve got stuff.’ It all just came out of me. I thought, ‘Perfect. This is gonna work out great.’

I knew exactly who to get as a second guitarist. When we got to that point, we filled out the band, and I thought, ‘Jasmine is someone I’ve always enjoyed working with in this kind of band.’ We had such a good time in Bloodletter together, and she lives in Melbourne now too. She’s so talented, as is everyone in Armour, so lovely to be in a room with.

That’s where that sound sort of comes in. Jasmine knows the tone, and she knows what I like. It’s very cheeky. Everyone in the band is very cheeky. They’ve got a good sense of humour, very chill, which makes it easy to be in that group.

With Bloodletter, you could lean into the horror, lean into the spooky stuff, while still talking about my lived experience. I really needed to do that band at that time. It was a good move away from having been in some ratty little punk and hardcore bands, which were great at the time, but Bloodletter was so different. Especially coming from Brisbane at that point in time, we were like, ‘Yeah, this is something else.’

Do you think that’s the band where you really started to find your voice?

LENA: I think so. I’ve always sung, but I definitely found my power in my voice at that time. I felt like I gained the most confidence through singing then. I was like, ‘No, I know this is what I have to do.’

And that connects to what we were talking about at the beginning. You go through all kinds of phases or times in your creative practice where people tell you the right way to do things, or what things need to sound like, or whatever. But if you trust yourself, you know.

This is the thing I always end up doing. This is the thing I’ve always done. I’ve got different ways of doing it. I’ve got my own way of doing it. But no one’s going to tell me how to use my voice.

Bloodletter in particular—and now in Armour as well—I don’t sound like anyone else. I trust the way that I sing. It’s not always in key, but it always sounds like me.

Follow: @armourmusicgroup + Armour bandcamp + 100% bandcamp + Bloodletter bandcamp.

Private Function’s Chaotic Tour Diary

Original photo by Jhonny Russell / handmade collage by B

Tour diaries are often full of glamorous highlights and polished moments, but not this one. This is the real deal: messy, chaotic, and sometimes hilarious. Naarm (Melbourne) band Private Function’s adventure took them from the Aotearoa (New Zealand) wilderness at Camp A Low Hum and beyond, before looping back around Australia. Along the way, they encountered highs, lows, and plenty of ‘what the hell just happened?’ moments.

Written by frontman Chris Penney for Gimmie, this diary offers a peek into the madness—good shows, wild experiences, and the kind of stories that only make sense after a few too many beers. If you’re looking for a laugh, keep reading. It’s a series of events he’ll never forget (and possibly regret some). You can also find our in-depth chat with Chris HERE.

Originally, this was going to appear in Gimmie’s next print edition, but with the cost of living making it harder to afford groceries, rent, and other essentials, we’ve put our print edition on hold for now.

Private Function Tour Diary:

So, a little backstory about this tour: it was actually meant to be a co-headlining tour with our New Jersey pals, Screaming Females. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks before the shows were announced, they announced that they were splitting up.

It was totally heartbreaking—I love those guys so much, and I was completely devastated by the news. I really hope they get back together one day; they were one of the best that ever was.

Vale, Screamales.

(I don’t wanna get too sidetracked here, but I’m not sure when or why we started saying “vale” all of a sudden. People just started doing it one day, and I guess I just went along with them? It’s kinda like that biscuit Biscoff. Biscoff didn’t exist when I was a kid, and now it’s everywhere—and Australia is pretending like it’s always been here. You can get Biscoff Kit-Kats now, and they’re marketed like, “FINALLY… YOU ASKED AND WE DELIVERED! TWO CHILDHOOD FAVOURITES TOGETHER AT LAST!”

It’s just like… man, have we gotten to the point where we’ve truly mined all the best flashbacks from the past, and now companies are attempting to create fake memories of our childhood to sell us imaginary nostalgia?

Fuck Biscoff, and fuck the Lotus company.

…That’s bands for ya, though. They love breaking up. They’re literally always doing it—it’s wild.

YUGAMBEH COUNTRY (GOLD COAST) 

First stop of the tour was the greatest country in Australia… QUEENSLAND. Always a pleasure heading up north—great beaches, great weather, and great people.

The first show was at Vinnies Dive on the Gold Coast, one of our fav venues in Australia and run by our old mate (and first PF manager) Glenn Stewart.

We got to the Gold Coast early in the day. Aidan and I had to drive out to the country to hire some gear for the night. It was ruthlessly hot that day, and when we knocked on this random person’s house, it was answered by an older, sweating man in nothing but tight budgie smugglers.

It would have made a beautiful Queensland postcard.

The man looked us up and down in silence for a few seconds, then just said, ‘Well, well, well… looks like we’ve got some rockers. I better go put a black t-shirt on.’

Paying for their best dance moves! Photo: Jhonny Russell.

He came back out with a black shirt—still not wearing pants.
God bless Queensland.

The lineup that night was Shock Value and Dad Fight—both awesome bands we’d wanted to see for ages.

We decided to try something different for this show. Instead of writing a setlist, we put all of our songs in a hat and had the audience take turns choosing the next song. The sound guy, Bailey, decided that a hat wasn’t funny enough, so he gave us a vacuum cleaner to pull the songs out of. So, throughout the show, I was lugging around this huge old vacuum cleaner.

Getting the crowd to pull the setlist out of a vacuum worked so well that we decided we’d do it at every show on this tour.

After we finished playing, Anthony was watching the merch table and decided to arm wrestle people. If you beat Anthony, you got a free PF shirt.
Nobody ended up beating him.

As all the alpha males slowly shuffled away from the merch table DEFEATED, a new challenger appeared… She was a tall goth chick who demanded that Anthony have a thumb war with her.

Powering up the setlist. Photo: Jhonny Russell.

The reason? She was born with three thumbs. Two of them were amputated shortly after birth, but you could see the little scars where they originally were. If thumb wars had a general, Anthony was staring at her.

The thumb war was truly epic. People gathered around, cheering. She had an odd dexterity and speed with her thumb that made pinning her down almost impossible. The battle raged for a few solid minutes.

But eventually, she was knocked down by the undeniable girth of Anthony’s thumb.

Vale this final thumb. May you rest in peace with your two fallen sisters.

MEANJIN (BRISBANE)

The next day, we woke up and went for a walk around Surfers Paradise.

We saw a sign for ‘THE WORLD’S BIGGEST TIMEZONE’ and decided we had to go.
It was pretty big!


(But, like, not THAT big.)

They had one of those big old ’90s shooting galleries—a full cowboy/western-themed set where you can shoot the hats off cowboys and knock over beer cans, etc. I always forget that Milla has an insanely good eye for shooting. She used to do it as a kid in Canada, and whenever we get the chance to mess around with a gun, she absolutely nails it.

We spent a couple of hours at Timezone and then bailed to drive to Brisbane.

The Brisbane show was awesome, as it always is. Brisbane has some of the best live music punters in Australia—always ready to get on it and get wild.

Last time we played in Meanjin, it was at a house party for our good mate Kirby’s 21st. It was an awesome party, and it’s where we first saw My Friend Chloe play live. We were so blown away by their set that night we asked them to open up for us at this show. They killed it.

We also had Prink on the bill. We’d always wanted to see them live and loved every second of it.

I really love The Zoo. It’s such an awesome old venue, and we hadn’t played there for a few years, so it was great to finally get back. All the staff and everyone involved are so goddamn lovely. We love yas.

We all got up surprisingly early the next morning. Aidan woke up and decided to cook a huge batch of scrambled eggs for breakfast. He had me laughing so much—he was loudly singing as he cooked, changing the lyrics to Waylon Jennings’ ‘I’m a Ramblin’ Man’ into ‘I’m a Scramblin’ Man.’

Scramblin’ Man.

The eggs were 10/10. The man knows how to scram.

GUMBAYNGGIRR COUNTRY (COFFS HARBOUR)

Whenever we tour Queensland/Northern NSW, we can usually fit in three shows—Gold Coast, Brisbane, and Byron Bay.

But (and I’m really trying not to be a cunt here) I kinda hate Byron Bay, and I don’t really wanna go there again.

The small crew of locals are awesome, but it’s mostly just dealing with annoying backpackers and general Australian fuckwits on holiday. Byron Bay is like walking around a giant corporate shopping centre, but for some reason, everyone’s patting themselves on the back for not having a McDonald’s.

Our friend Aidan (not to be confused with our scramblin’ man Aidan) had just started a new venue in Coffs Harbour and had been asking us to play there for a while. We’re always keen to play a new town, so we jumped on the opportunity.

The venue was amazing—a good-sized little room at the back of the Coffs Harbour Hotel. It’s called The Backroom, and we can’t recommend it enough if you’re a touring band. It’s so important to support up-and-coming venues in smaller towns, and we couldn’t have been happier to play there.

Coffs Harbour has a really solid scene going on, and I hope it keeps growing.

The lineup was Power Drill and Purple Disturbance.

I always love seeing Power Drill. Every time I’ve seen them live, they fucking kill it.

Purple Disturbance are an anomaly. They’re one of the best teenage bands I’ve ever seen, and I’d recommend everyone keep an eye on them. I saw Tom, the singer, getting kicked out of the pub after their set. I ran up and asked what was going on. He pointed to his bare feet and said he’d lost his shoes somewhere inside. He’s also 17, so I feel like that wasn’t helping him get back in, lol.

We slept at the pub that night.

We drank downstairs until it shut, then went upstairs and watched Carrie on the TV with Power Drill. I forgot how awesome Carrie is. Sissy Spacek rules so hard.

We woke up (always a bit disappointing) the next day and drove back to Brisbane to fly home.

NAARM (MELBOURNE)

Hometown show, baybeeeeee!

We played at The Nightcat. For anyone not familiar, it’s a 360-degree stage in Fitzroy.

We’d never played there before, and I hadn’t been in years. It’s semi-rare for a rock band to play there since it’s usually a soul, hip-hop, electronic, and “world music” venue.

Nighcat projection. Photo: Deaf Chris

Bit of a side note, but “world music” is such a weird genre. Do people still use that term?
PF is from the world.

OFFICIAL PF PRESS RELEASE: From this day moving forward, Private Function demands to be classified as “world music.”

I reckon The Nightcat show was one of my favourite shows we’ve ever played. The sound was amazing, and the lighting was some of the best I’ve ever seen. The lighting dude even had a laser projector shining the words “STILL ON TOP” onto the roof.

It was also the first time I’ve ever used a cordless mic, and I’m not sure I wanna go back. The freedom, bro. BRO, the freedom.

Photo: @deafchris

Anthony, Milla, and I were all wireless for the set, so it felt like we really took advantage of the 360-degree stage.

The lineup was Walking To The Grocery Store and Dr Sure’s Unusual Practice. Both bands were on fire that night, and the whole show had such a great vibe.

The Nightcat truly rules—what an awesome venue.

The next day, we had to fly to New Zealand at 5 AM, which meant we had to be at the airport by 3:30 AM. for the international flight. Half the band just stayed up after the show and went straight to the airport.

Photo: @deafchris

AOTEAROA (NEW ZEALAND)

We landed in NZ a few hours later. Most of us managed to get some sleep on the plane, and the excitement of being in a new country helped everyone push through the exhaustion.

Our other ride is this dragon – Wellington Airport

Aotearoa is unbelievably beautiful—every corner of it is just breathtakingly gorgeous. It’s fucked up, man. It’s really amazing.

The reason we were there was to play Camp A Low Hum. If you’ve never heard of it, here’s the deal:

Camp A Low Hum is a two-weekend-long camping festival just outside Wellington. Its brilliance comes down to the curation. It’s predominantly organised by Ian Jorgensen, who travels the world watching live music, then somehow puts together the greatest festival lineup you’ve ever seen.

One of the coolest things about this festival is that the lineup is never released. You don’t know who’s playing until you rock up to the gates with your ticket. They hand you a lineup, a timetable, and point you to a spot to pitch your tent.

I was lucky enough to play Camp A Low Hum back in 2014 with my other band, Mesa Cosa, and it’s incredible to see how much it’s grown and perfected itself. Every single act I saw this year was ridiculously good.

I don’t have enough space to shout out every band I loved, but my standout sets were Party Dozen, Cable Ties, Dartz, Georgia Knight, Splinter, Dole Bludger, and Tongue Dissolver. I probably saw 20 more bands, and every single set floored me.

An awesome addition this year: every stage was 360 degrees. No backstage areas, no separation between artists and punters. It was brilliant.

Honestly, I could write a full review of this festival and all the things I experienced—things I’ll remember until the day I die—but I’m starting to bore myself here. I’ve gotten way off track.

At one point in this diary, I was rambling about PF being considered “world music.” Now I’m wondering if I should’ve cut that (or this) in the final edit. (I didn’t).

AHURIRI (NAPIER):

During the week, we went on a small tour with this amazing band from Wellington called Dartz. They just released a new album called Dangerous Day To Be A Cold One and I think you should go put it on right now and read the rest of this tour diary listening to it. It’s outrageously catchy and super fun.

We played two shows with them around Aotearoa. The first one was in Napier at a place called Cabana, which turned out to be the oldest music venue in New Zealand.

Napier is a super unique city. There was a massive earthquake there in 1931 and it basically flattened the whole town. The local council decided to re-build everything in the style of the time, which luckily happened to be Art-Deco (my fav).

It’s currently the Art-Deco capital of the world. There were some amazingly unique Art-Deco buildings there—some that really stood out were the buildings that blended Art-Deco and traditional Māori art.

The Māori art style is more detailed and playful than you would expect to see on a traditional Art-Deco building, so the rare amalgamation of both the minimalist geometry and intricate curvature really complemented each other and brought the buildings closer, architecturally, to something resembling more of a subtle Art Nouveau style.

The next morning, I was driving the car and thinking about all the little cultural differences between Australia and New Zealand.

All of a sudden, I saw a bumper sticker that was one of those “two in the pink, one in the stink” hands, except it only had “two in the pink.”

I yelled out, ‘Woah, check it out! In New Zealand they only have two in the pink and NONE in the stink on their bumper stickers!’

… Jimmy pointed out that it was a peace sign bumper sticker.

TAIRĀWHITI (GISBORNE):

This next venue might be one of the coolest venues I’ve ever been to in my life.

SMASH PALACE!

‘ANTHONY SMASH!’

Smash Palace is your typical ‘bunch of crazy crap on the walls’ bar but taken to the extreme. The beer garden has a complete World War Two fighter plane hanging over it. It’s so big they used to have a restaurant inside it. It towers above you the whole night alongside a giant papier-mâché  T-Rex and a roof filled with thousands of hats from all over the world stuck to it.

The opening band was called Spiky. The singer Corey is in a wheelchair, and funnily enough, I recognised him from his old band Sit Down In Front, who I’d been following for a few years on Instagram. They did solid 77’ punk with a bunch of covers thrown in. I reckon the singer did one of the best Bon Scott impersonations I’ve ever heard. Ask any singer—Bon is fucking hard to replicate.

Dartz played next, and it was one of the best shows I’ve seen all year. Hopefully, if you pushed play on their album when I told you to, you should be at the track ‘Paradise’.

‘Paradise’ is a subtle anti-colonial anthem addressing not just colonialism but the financial inequality that runs rampant through New Zealand. It also has one of the best lyrics of 2024:

You built your house on stolen land, so we gotta reclaim the beach now, imma roll up and spread out on my 97’ Digimon beach towel.

In my long life of listening to music, I’ve heard the phrase ‘I love you’ seventeen million times. I’ve heard the phrase ‘’97 Digimon Beach Towel’approximately ONE time in my life.

That’s innovation, and innovation is true art.

Holy shit, did we have a great time at Smash Palace! The bartenders made these insane homemade shots that were some of the most unique shots I’ve ever had in my life. We sat and drank with the bar staff until the police literally stormed the venue and shut the place down.

I’ll remember that night for the rest of my life.

BACK 2 CAMP A LOW HUM:

We drove back to Camp A Low Hum the next day.

Camp A Low Hum took place over two weekends this year. Although there was no festival during the week, Ian (the camp organiser) had organised a series of seminars and talks for anyone who wanted to stay. The mid-week topics ranged from “touring New Zealand successfully” to “manipulating analogue televisions to create practical effects.”

One amazing thing Ian arranged mid-week was turning one of the stages into a recording studio where the artists could record new songs, then cut them straight to vinyl at camp. The rule was the songs had to be new, and the record had to be a split with another band playing the festival.

We decided to record three new songs and split the record with the Dunedin band Pretty Dumb. We became mates with Pretty Dumb at the festival and hung out with them every day. I never actually got to see them play live, though, and I’m so pissed off I didn’t.

Lauren nailed every single Chesdale-inspired cover.

Lauren from PF is getting some major props right now…

It was our job to hand-draw all 25 of our record sleeves. During the week, we became obsessed with this cheap New Zealand cheese called Chesdale, so Lauren decided to theme every record cover around Chesdale Cheese. She’s an amazing artist and totally, totally killed these album covers. Good onya, Lauren.

Just living our best cheese slice life!

Long story short, for any keen PF fans out there: there are twenty-five PF records with three never-before-heard songs floating around NZ. Try to get one, I dare you. Then give it to me, because I don’t have one.

We played our final NZ shows at the second Camp A Low Hum weekend and headed home.

I’d like to add that I checked the PF bank account, and between all six of us at Camp A Low Hum, we drank:

  • 26 cases of beer
  • 7 bottles of liquor
  • 5 goon sacks
  • 3 cases of Strong Zero

It was a bit much.

We’d like to thank Ian for having us at the festival, and all the amazing organisers for putting it together. Y’all killed it.

On the flight home to Australia, Lauren was cracking me up because we were delirious, talking about how we should save Furbys from wet markets and how Furbys would probably make the best bushmeat.

Driftwood and good vibes only!

TARNDANYA (ADELAIDE):

Welp, I fucked up.

They say that sometimes you’ve got charisma, and sometimes you’ve got charisn’tma (I’m pretty sure they say that).

And at this Adelaide show, I definitely had charisn’tma.

PF is a band that’s always trying to push the limits of live performance and see what we can get away with on stage. I’ve had a long conversation with myself this week about where “the line” is with our live shows and when it should not be crossed.

“The line” for me is when somebody feels unsafe or unwelcome at a show. And I know some people felt that way at our Adelaide show.

I was way too drunk and belligerent to be on stage that night. 

The show just went way too over the top.

I’m so sorry to the venue and the staff.

If there’s anyone I don’t want to make uncomfortable, it’s people just doing their job. Especially people in a bar.

The rest of the show was really great, though!

Witch Spit were genuinely amazing, and The 745s absolutely killed it.

Adelaide holds a really special place in our hearts, and we always love going there.

A homemade one-of-a-kind PF shirt!

DJILANG (GEELONG):

When we arrived in Geelong the next day, we got some bad news: one of our close family members had to be taken to the hospital for an emergency operation. Everything is good now, but it was pretty scary for a moment.

Because of that, we had to cancel the last three shows of the tour.

It was a total shame because we handpicked the lineups for those shows and were so keen to see every single band we were playing with.

So, Geelong would be our last show of the tour…

And it was GREAT.

The Barwon Club is always a great venue to play at, and everyone in Geelong is consistently a legend.

Persecution Blues opened the night, and had Pint Man with them. If you’re not familiar with Pint Man, he’s a member of the band who just stands there, staring at the audience and drinking pints. He drank 6 pints in a 40-minute set. That’s a good effort. Not only was it the best Persecution Blues set I’ve ever seen, but it was also one of the best shows of the year.

Pintman from Persecution Blues.

Next up was Dragnet.

I feel like such a dumbass because I’d heard of Dragnet but always assumed they were a glam band for some reason. I dunno why. They were insane. It was perfect jangular egg punk—pinpoint precision and perfect execution. Also, any band that incorporates a sampler into their set wins my heart forever.

We drove back home that night, coming down from a great tour…

BACK TO (A HARSH) REALITY:

A few days after the tour finished, the PF wheels really started falling off…
Just like every band in Australia right now, we’re consistently dealing with the punishing reality of being in a band.

Juggling mental illness, dealing with the stress of social media, becoming increasingly aware that financial freedom will probably never be attained through music, watching rock and roll slowly slip into obscurity, and yet continuing to dedicate our lives to it. My heroes are senior citizens. That was an odd realisation. (Love you forever, Ozzy.)

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

The pressures of being in a touring band grow with every tour—it’s a lot.
Funnily enough, I’m typing this tour diary as I sit in the waiting room, waiting to see a psychologist for the first time in my life.

I’ve become increasingly paranoid that World War III and climate change are running at a direct parallel to each other. The ocean is heating up at record speeds, and we’re becoming complacent with the normalisation of genocide and murder. I feel like growing up during peacetime has made me pathetic, and as we walk into the war-torn future, the children of “Gen Alpha” will throne upon me, staring down at my weakness like a demon disgusted. I need a gun.

These kinds of thoughts have been spinning in my head like a mouse on a wheel, and as I take a moment to stop and think about the future of Private Function, one thing enters my brain…
It’s just a band lol.

Who gives a fuck.

PF STILL ON TOP!!

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Conversations with Punx – romansy’s Alessandro Coco: ‘We are full of potentiality’

Original photo: courtesy of Coco / Handmade collage by B.

When you walk into Lulu’s, Naarm’s (Melbourne) beloved underground record shop, one of the friendly faces behind the counter is co-founder Alessandro Coco. Along with friends, he helped establish label Cool Death Records too, that’s gifted the world record collection essentials from bands like Low Life, Tyrannamen, Oily Boys, and Orion. A stalwart of Australia’s hardcore punk community, Coco has played in bands Leather Lickers and Erupt, among others. These days, he fronts Romansy, a band channeling the hectic, spirited energy of Zouo, The Clay, Necromantia, Septic Death, and GISM.

A few years back, I (Bianca) was chatting with Al Montfort (Straightjacket Nation, Sleeper & Snake, UV Race, Terry…) about my punk and hardcore book, Conversations with Punx: A Spiritual Dialogue. Al suggested I reach out to Coco for a conversation—so I did.

What followed was an hours-long discussion that covered self-enlightenment, spirituality, creativity, the DIY ethos, and Coco’s introduction to it all. We talked about the importance of really supporting one another both creatively and personally, navigating struggle and insecurity, and embracing who you are and your own worth. We yarn about the scene and its dynamics, as well as idolisation. Coco also spoke about messing up, owning it, and growing from those experiences.

The initial manuscript for my book was over a quarter of a million words. To bring it to a publishable length, I had to cut it in half, which meant not every full conversation made it in. A few days ago, Lulu’s announced they would be closing their High Street shop. Lulu’s has spent nine and a half years of hard work, creating a hub that felt like a second home for many of us in search of great underground music, connection, and community. Reflecting on Lulu’s reminded me of the chat with Coco—and the timeless insights we shared. Which Gimmie now shares with you.

Al informed me that you’re always talking about philosophical, deeper, spiritual kinds of stuff. So I thought I’d reach out for this chat for my book.

COCO: Yeah, I definitely am. I’m surprised that more people don’t talk about it, but I get it. Everyone has those thoughts and ideas, but they tend to keep it personal. Sometimes it’s something people think, or feel but don’t really focus on. They might not dedicate hours in the day, week, month, or year to hone in on it. It’s just there, part of who they are, which is cool as well. Star signs are back in a big way, which is kind of cute, but that’s where it usually stops with a lot of people [laughs].

It’s obviously something that you focus on? 

COCO: For sure. I do my own thing with it. I don’t attend regular church meetings or group gatherings. It’s something I focus on in my own time, putting energy into it. You can find powerful, positive, and profound results from doing that. It suits me.

Once you’re aware of that kind of power and presence, you can’t ignore it. It’s right in front of you, you just have to meet it halfway.

When did you first became aware of it? 

COCO: I couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. I grew up attending Catholic schools, and that was fine, but it always felt strange to me. You’re presenting something profound and serious—something meant for adults—to children who can’t fully grasp it. Kids aren’t taught philosophy in primary school, and rarely in high school, yet religion is essentially a philosophy. It’s no surprise they don’t understand it.

When you grow up with that, you either follow along and risk developing a warped perspective, misunderstanding it, and running in the wrong direction with it, or you reject it altogether. That rejection is understandable but often comes with throwing out the good with the bad. There are powerful, useful aspects to it, but they can get overshadowed by the parts that seem cruel, wicked, or nonsensical. This can lead people to turn their backs on it.

As for me, I don’t know exactly how I came back to it. I’ve always been fairly optimistic and positive when I can be. Maybe it started with playing music and spending time with friends. A lot of us got into heavy metal around the same time, and that genre is steeped in spiritual symbolism. You start noticing it, paying attention, and digging deeper into what those symbols mean.

Symbols are fascinating. They condense grand ideas into something small and simple, like a logo anyone could draw. Exploring those symbols led me to rediscover some ideas and reconnect with them. As an adult, with more maturity and life experience, you can approach those concepts differently. You start deciding what they mean for yourself. Once you’re on that path, it’s easy to keep going and noticing it everywhere.

Absolutely. What is spirituality to you?

COCO:  At its core, I would say it’s our way of experiencing our environment and identifying ourselves within it. What does that mean? Well, it’s philosophy. That might be an oversimplification, but I think it holds true.

For example, I might have a buddy who doesn’t consider himself spiritual. Yet, if he goes hiking or visits the beach, he tells me how connected and wonderful he feels. He mentions how the everyday things that seem so important drift away, leaving him with a new sense of connectedness and a different way of experiencing and being part of his environment.

To me, that is spirituality. He might not identify as a spiritual person, but that experience—feeling in tune with the world—is exactly what spirituality is about.

Totally. I get that from nature, I get that from listening to music, or creating something too.

COCO: It’s a weird kind of connectedness. It’s about relating to and experiencing life, but not in a social or political way, or in all the other ways we tend to focus on. It’s just you and the world—whatever that is. That’s often what it comes down to. It leads to other things, sure, but at its core, it’s just you in that moment.

Take music, for example. Black Sabbath is my favourite band. There are certain moments—like after a few beers, when the ‘Wheels of Confusion’ riff in the middle hits—that completely takes me away. That connection, that rush of vital energy and passion, what it does to your body and mind—it’s ecstatic. It’s an experience that feels almost otherworldly.

And that happens with all kinds of music. It’s that feeling, that sense of being taken out of yourself and into something bigger. Is that spiritual? I don’t know. Some people might not call it that. Maybe if you’re just bopping along to a pop tune, it doesn’t feel the same. But everyone has their own way of looking at these things.

For me, it’s huge. It’s a big part of how I see spirituality—not putting it all into neat little boxes, but recognising it in moments like these. It’s also about being present in mind and body, living fully in the moment. That idea comes up a lot in Eastern philosophy and spirituality: being present, not caught in thoughts, just experiencing and being.

You can get that from listening to music, from live performances, even from watching sports. Everything else drifts away, and it’s just you and the experience—the present moment. Nothing else exists in your head or your being at that time. It’s pure, and it’s wonderful.

Absolutely. Are there any other practices or rituals you have? 

COCO: I don’t meditate in the traditional sense—not the sitting down with eyes closed, yoga-style meditation. Instead, I try to get in touch with things in my own way. I’ll light incense, light candles, or pull out the tarot deck. Sometimes I pray, just to connect with what feels like it’s always there, everywhere, all the time. It’s about getting in tune with it.

Whether it’s positive thinking, willing something into existence, or something else entirely, it’s a complicated idea to explain. I don’t follow a strict practice, but I definitely have my own ways of engaging with the universe—and sometimes even the unseen universe.

Have you looked into any specific philosophies? 

COCO: I mostly find myself drawn to Western esoteric traditions, whether that’s Kabbalah, Christian mysticism, or other forms of Western magic. Many of these traditions also look to the East for inspiration. While I don’t spend as much time exploring Eastern ideas or philosophies, I do visit them occasionally. I think there’s truth in all of it, and something valuable in every tradition for everyone.

I can’t say any one path is greater or better than another—it depends on how you approach and understand it. For me, Kabbalah feels especially useful and powerful. I probably came to Kabbalah through reading [Aleister] Crowley. It resonates with the way my mind works and how I think about things. Similarly, Christian mysticism makes sense to me, likely because of my Catholic school upbringing. I’m already familiar with the imagery, symbols, language, and framework, so it feels accessible.

That familiarity allows me to focus on those traditions without the overwhelming task of learning something entirely new—like the canon of all Hindu gods, for example. That said, I do enjoy exploring other traditions when the opportunity arises. You can use whatever word you want for it, like, religion, philosophy, magic, spirituality, they all lead to the same place. Obviously, there’s different ways of practicing it or experiencing it, but hey’re all part of the same tree. 

Do you think your interest in these things stems from trying to understand life or yourself better?

COCO: Yeah—it’s about seeking truth. It’s about seeking experience, seeking understanding. Sometimes, it’s about finding another way—a useful way—of looking at the world, another lens that can open your mind.

I used to smoke a lot of pot. I don’t anymore, but at that time, I think anyone who first forms a relationship with that—or with psychedelics—definitely experiences a kind of opening of the mind. It starts you looking at things differently and even experiencing things outside the box. Once that door opens, things can just keep opening.

It’s not like psychedelics are the only gateway to that kind of exploration, but I think, for a lot of people, they are one of them.

Where did you grow up? 

COCO: When I was a kid, I lived in the western suburbs of Melbourne. During high school, I moved out to the country in Victoria and stayed there for 10 years. A few years ago, I moved back to Melbourne because everything I do and participate in is based here. There’s not much of that up in Ballarat, where I lived, so had to come back to Melbourne to be part of things the way I wanted to.

How did you first get into music?

COCO: When I was younger, I got into The Offspring, Nirvana—cool stuff like that. Some buddies in high school were into similar punky music, and I ended up getting a Punk-O-Rama compilation. Not long after, I got into the whole Australian metalcore scene, which quickly led me to Australian hardcore and melodic hardcore—the stuff that was happening about 15 or 20 years ago. From there, I dove into more classic punk and eventually got into the underground scene.

Both my parents are big fans of music, but they didn’t listen to punk or anything like that. Over time, though, I’ve come around to their tastes. My dad schooled me on a lot of classic and important blues, and my mum actually got into punk after I did. She loves it now, along with hip hop—she just vibes with that kind of stuff.

So, yeah, there was music in the house, but I didn’t really find my own music until punk came along. Something about it just made sense—the attitude, the volume, the aggression, the appearance. It’s the kind of thing that captures a young mind full of energy but unsure where to direct it. There’s also that rebellion, which is so easy to identify with, especially if you’ve never really had a way to express it before. You see it, and you think, Oh, yeah. That’s it.

What was your first introduction to DIY? 

COCO: When I was getting into metalcore—it called itself hardcore at the time—I started to realise that these bands were actually touring and playing at venues I could go to. For all the flaws in that scene, they did a lot of all-ages shows, which was great for younger people to access. That made it feel like something real and achievable.

It wasn’t happening in my own backyard, not where I was from, but it was close enough to get to. Tickets were like 15, 20, maybe 30 bucks, and you could actually go and experience it. At first, I thought of it as a concert, but then I realised it wasn’t this big, untouchable event—it was just a gig. And at those gigs, everyone had their band T-shirts, their merch, and it all felt alive. You’d see one gig, and then there’d be another, and you’d just go further down the rabbit hole.

I started to see that this scene was happening in the present—it existed right here and now. In Melbourne, we were lucky because there was so much going on. One thing led to another, and you’d discover these whole communities of people doing it themselves.

Missing Link Records in Melbourne was super important for me. They were really supportive of younger people like me. I’d go in, buy a CD, ask questions, and they’d help order stuff in or give recommendations. Even at the gigs, there’d be distro tables with records and CDs for sale. You’d chat with someone there, and they’d put you onto new bands or scenes.

I remember this one guy who ran a label. Looking back, it wasn’t the coolest label, but at the time, he was so enthusiastic. I laughed when he handed me something and said, ‘Dude, you’ll love this.’ I was grabbing Jaws’ new thing on Common Bond Records, and he’s like, ‘Oh man, if you like that, check out Government Warning.’

I bought the CD No Moderation, and that just flipped everything for me. I was like, man, this is unreal. And yeah, it’s just about having your eyes opened to the fact that it’s all around you—you just have to notice it, or be introduced to it, and then experience it and break into it yourself.

The local scene came from local shows. The DIY thing? You just kind of follow the rabbit hole, chat to different people, explore different things, and then you realise it’s all there.

And now you get to do that—recommend new stuff to people who come into Lulu’s! I read in Billiam from Disco Junk’s zine Magnetic Visions that he mentioned how, when he went into your store, Lulu’s, it was the first place where he actually felt like he kind of belonged. He said he didn’t feel like he was inconveniencing anyone, and he could actually have a chat with people. I could relate to that. Growing up, many people behind the counter at my local record stores were really pretentious and condescending but then there were a couple of cool dudes that would take the time to talk to me and suggest stuff, and that made all the difference. It’s like, not everyone can know everything.

COCO: Yeah. That’s my favourite part of Lulu’s: being able to chat with people, connect with them on a personal or musical level, share things we think are cool, and point people in a direction—like, ‘Oh, you like this? Maybe you’ll like this. Check this out! Have you heard of this?’ Then encourage them to do what they’re doing. 

Billy was young doing his own music, and I was like, whatever you do, buddy, bring in your tape, bring in whatever you make, to encourage and support that. I was lucky enough, when I was younger, to have people be really friendly and supportive of me. I always thought it was important to pay that back. I was shown kindness and support, and I thought, ‘Yeah, I absolutely want to do that for anyone else I get the opportunity to help down the line.’ Thankfully, I’ve been lucky enough to be in a position where I can do that. DIY is a hell of a thing.You get to learn a lot of lessons your own way. 

If you want to do a band—do it! Nothing’s gonna stop you, no one’s gonna stop you. Make your tape; the first tapes we did we dubbed by hand. I spray-painted the covers. You just have to give it a shot. Put your effort into it: use your brain, your heart, your passion— it can pay off for you. 

Early on, that was super valuable to learn; it’s influenced the way the following years of my life have gone. If I wanna do something, chances are I can do it. I’ll always encourage others to be themselves and do their thing. It’s easy not to do something. When you do, though, the satisfaction, the joy of people digging it too, appreciating it, and caring about it, is huge!

Encouraging people to be themselves is something that’s really important. More people need to know that it’s okay to be yourself—to ask: What do you like? What don’t you like? What would you enjoy without the influence of others?—and to know that they are enough already. A lot of people seem to think they need fixing but if you look around at the world, what we get bombarded with, messages we’re sent, and systems that are in place, it’s no wonder you feel how you do.

I know from talking to a lot of creatives over the years (and through my own experiences) that many of us tend to be really insecure. We compare themselves to others, which fuels feelings of self-doubt, not being good enough, low self-worth, fears of not having what someone else has, and can lead to anxiety. Over time, that can start to really get you down.

COCO: Totally. A lot of people would be lying if they said they didn’t compare themselves to others. And we do—we look to friends, family, community, media. We idolise certain people from the past or present, or whatever it is. That’s all well and good; it can also lead you on a good path. A lot of those influences can be good and healthy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

But at the end of the day, the lesson to be learned is to be yourself, be proud of that, and do your thing. Do it to the best of your ability—do things your way. It can work, and it can be really satisfying. It’s so nice to break free of expectations you don’t believe in or value. Then you can just go on and do your own thing.

Even with all the spiritual stuff—whatever it is—it doesn’t mean you have to be a goody two-shoes, or a badass, or anything else. Break down all the bullshit that doesn’t matter to you. Use your head, listen to your heart, and let them guide you. Find your own way in the world. Being yourself, doing your thing, and keeping it real—that’s the only way to go.

We’ve all experienced the opposite of that, you know? I think probably everyone who’s made it through their teens knows what it’s like to not be like everyone else—not be as good at something, not be as good-looking, not have the cool clothes, or whatever it is you’re valuing. Not be good at sports, or whatever—blah, blah, blah.

Even me—I’m not the best musician, I know. I’m not the best artist, or whatever. But I know what I like, and I know how to do what I like. Doing that has provided me with so much satisfaction. And it’s been great too, because certain things I’ve gone on to do have had a positive flow-on effect. If I hadn’t done them, maybe someone else wouldn’t have heard something or experienced something at all.

That snowball effect, that ripple effect—it’s insane how the things anyone does can touch another person for the better. That’s why you have to be yourself, because if you don’t do it, no one else will. The world would be a fucking dull, miserable place without people going out and being themselves, almost no matter what the cost.

It’s given us some of the best things we’ll ever know—some of the best art, ideas, thoughts, and all those things we care about. All the cool stuff.

What was your first band? 

COCO: An awful band in high school that I played bass in for a bit [laughs].

When I first started doing my own thing—writing music, doing it with my friends, and making it the way we wanted—it really felt like mine. That was, Kicked In, which we started in Ballarat with Tom, who does Cool Death with me and Lulu’s as well.

That band was around for a little while, but then our guitarist and singer decided they wanted to do other things and didn’t want to continue with it. We made a few cool tapes, though. When we got a new guitarist and singer, we decided to change the name, and that’s what became Gutter Gods.

Gutter Gods ended a few years ago—toward the end of summer 2015–16. We split up, which was a bummer at the time. But you know, it led us all into other things. The work we did with that band really opened up the world for us. It gave us confidence, and we got our kicks with it.

You make friends, you make connections, you build confidence. It made us all really comfortable with starting other bands and putting that same passion from Gutter Gods into new projects.

What do you get from playing music? 

COCO: One of my favourite things—it might sound cheesy—is just jamming. A good jam with your friends is like nothing else. Whether you’re making something up on the spot and it all just flows out of you, or someone’s written a song and you come together to play it for the first couple of times, it’s really like nothing else. I don’t know why or what it is, but it’s the joy of creation—seeing and feeling something while you’re hearing it being made real.

It starts coming out of the amps, the drums kick in, vocals hit the mic, and it all has this vital energy. You’re like, Wow, that started off as nothing. It’s basically making something out of nothing, and when that happens, it’s huge.

Playing shows, though, I have a weird relationship with. Sometimes I don’t love it; other times, it’s brilliant. It’s funny how often you think a set was awful or you played badly, and then people come up to you later saying it was excellent and they loved it. Other times, you think you’ve absolutely killed it, only to find out they couldn’t hear the guitar the whole time. It’s like, I thought we smashed it, but everyone thought it died because of the sound or the crowd, or whatever.

It’s really hard to put my finger on what I love about playing or making music. It’s like I have an impulse to do it—it just has to be done.

I was watching this documentary on the blues recently, and there was this line someone said that really resonated with me. I can’t recall it off the top of my head now, but I sent it to a friend, and they said, Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel too. It was something about the blues being not for anyone else—not for anything—it’s just you. It’s like yelling into the universe: Here I am. Here’s this feeling, this atmosphere, this whatever. It’s just a way of creating something that’s in some way a part of you. And then it becomes this sound, this artwork, this song—this thing that is its own entity.

Have you read The Plague by Camus’? There’s that guy in the apartment trying to write the perfect book. He’s obsessing over writing the perfect book. Throughout the whole story, he’s sort of like a Kramer—just crashing in, chatting, getting in the way, and showing this one line he’s been working on. He keeps trying to perfect that single line and never gets past it.

It’s funny to think about because it’s kind of sweet. When you’re making a song or whatever it is, it’s not like your last will and testament. You can’t sum up everything you are, think, feel, or believe in one song, one lyric, one riff, or one painting. So, when you’re creating, all these things are just little parts of you that get to have a life of their own.

With music especially, it’s often a collaborative thing. Every member of the band gets to put a piece of themselves into that song or sound, and it happens over and over again. It’s interesting when it comes to expressing yourself, though. That’s such a big part of it, but you can be expressing so many different parts of yourself.

Take punk, for example—super aggressive, super in-your-face. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have another outlet where you express something completely different. It’s all part of expression.

Even then, like, you know how when you listen to a great song, you feel that connection? Sometimes you find that with your own work, too, and it’s really satisfying—hearing or performing your own song. It’s a way of speaking, particularly with instruments, without using words. You create this thing—an atmosphere, an energy—that becomes intangible but still real for you and for anyone who comes into contact with it.

Sometimes, even when you look back at stuff you’ve created, the meaning of it can change from when you made it—or even when you play it live. It can keep evolving long after the initial spark of it coming into being.

COCO: I totally agree. Even bands might have a slow version of a song they play live, or some track you like live. Like, oh, what? They did an acoustic version of this concert in 1976, and you check it out—it’s like, whoa, that just carries a totally different feeling, or a more powerful version of the original feeling. The song you write, the words you write—particularly with words—you can look back at things later, and you’re right, that meaning, can evolve.

That’s the other part that is on a spiritual tip. Sometimes when we’re creating things, it feels like it’s not necessarily yours. You really are just channeling something else, and you’re there as a conduit for that. In doing so, you often put your own thing on it because it’s coming out of you, but it’s expressing some idea. Whether that idea is always going to be universal—whether it’s archetypal or whatever—it doesn’t really matter. Whether it’s coming from you or somewhere else, it’s as real as anything else is.

Yeah. When I interviewed Randy from Massappeal for the book, he was telling me that when they had practices, some of those were even better than his favourite live shows they played. He shared with me the moment during a practice where he had a massive spiritual epiphany!

COCO: 100%, I stand by it that, like, the best music I’ve ever played has been in the practice room. Some of those experiences we’ve had in the practice room—where the vibes are right, the atmosphere is there, and everything just happens—whether it’s, you know, a bit floppy or whether it’s tight or whatever. Yeah, easily the best music, the best sound I’ve ever made, has been in this practice room, and I don’t know what that is. I don’t know if it’s just, you know, being able to cultivate that vibe with yourself and the people you’re playing with, or if it’s just like, you know, a probability thing. It’s like, well, you probably practice more than you play live, so the odds are you’ll do the best version of a song, you know, one in a hundred times, and that happens to be in the practice room. I totally, totally vibe with what Randy said.

It’s a pretty special thing, too, that you only share with these people who are in that same frame. A good jam is better than good sex. At the height of it, it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever experienced—having a good run through a song or a set, or making something up on the spot, just creating without words. That’s another reason why I’d encourage anyone who ever thinks about picking up an instrument, playing music, or starting a band—whatever it is—I’m always like, do it. You have no idea how good it can be until you do it. Anyone who ever mentions it, I encourage them right to the ends of the earth.

Same! At Gimmie we’re definitely cheerleaders for humans creating art!

COCO: I totally get that feeling—you can only describe it so much, but there’s a whole other layer to the experience that you can’t pass on. It’s like, you really have to be in it, feel it, and discover it for yourself. That’s what makes it so special, and it’s hard to convey unless someone’s really there.

It’s amazing how much music can shape people’s experiences, emotions, and connections. It’s its own language that transcends words, and I love helping others explore and articulate their musical thoughts. 

Do you play in a band?

I had bands when I was younger, I’ve made music just for myself my whole life. Jhonny and I have a little project we’re working on just because we love making stuff together, it’s fun. Jhonny has taught me so much about creativity, and helped me overcome self-doubt and to learn to trust myself, and to play and explore. He has some of the coolest and most beautiful ideas about creativity. I feel so lucky to spend every day with him. I wish more people knew just how brilliant he is.

COCO: That’s cool! Yeah, I totally get what you’re saying. Certain songs I write, when I pick up my guitar, a lot of the time, I’ve got songs from years ago. I don’t know if I’m ever going to use them or whatever, but they’re there, and I enjoyed writing them. Just being there with your guitar or your amp or whatever it is—or sitting on the drum kit and playing the fucking D-beat for as long as you can!

I remember having this taxi driver once. I told him I was a drummer, and he’s like, ‘Oh man, that’s really cool. There’s just something so human and so real about drumming.’ I reckon at the end of the world, there’s this guy sitting on a mountain playing 4/4. I’m like, ‘Dude, I totally believe that.’ It’s like the strangest, silliest, most poetic thing. Once he said it, I’m like, ‘That’s it, man.’ [laughs].

There’s just something about music. It’s profound because it doesn’t make sense to other animals. It barely makes sense to us. The reason we have our own connections with it, a lot of it, is in us and inherited—whether it’s culturally or biologically. It can easily get mystical, and it’s really hard to understand why it makes us feel the way it does, but you know it does. That’s why you pursue it, I guess. Sometimes you just have to fucking say, ‘See you later’ to that logic and rationale and whatever, and try to understand things or break things apart. That reductionist thing—it’s like, fuck, it’s real. Go for it. I’m going to be in that realness, because it makes me feel better than almost anything.

Absolutely!

COCO: I’ve had a few epiphany moments. Some have been without so much thought or words. It’s this experience, like I said, with encouraging people to play music or do whatever. It’s often said of any spiritual pursuit—more enlightenment in the East—I can’t give that to you. Like, even if I had enlightenment or I had the meaning of life or I had this understanding, if you ask me the question, the answer I give you isn’t then going to convey that knowledge or that same understanding to you. You have to just experience it for yourself.

With life-changing moments, that’s a really similar thing in that it might be impossible to convey. But some of how it happens is often this sense of a sort of ecstasy and interconnectedness and maybe synchronicity. I mean, the good life-changing moments, not the absolutely awful ones that shatter your world. But again, they’re actually quite fucking similar. They just feel a lot worse, I guess.

But it feels like everything has conspired to meet in this moment, and it just happens, and it takes you away from everything else. You feel it in your body, in your mind. The beautiful ones, they often follow a lot of similar patterns. Often things happen on a whim, maybe slightly unplanned. They’re always unexpected. There’s not necessarily ingredients or a mathematical formula that you can put in and the result is a big life-changing moment. These things happen, and one leads to another, and all of a sudden, you find yourself in this state of sort of awe. You feel fulfilled and completed in that moment, and perfect. It’s like you couldn’t be any better. You couldn’t be any more perfect. Things are exactly as they’re meant to be, and it’s that weird, sublime feeling that culminates.

I know exactly what you’re talking about, I’ve been getting that feeling every step of the way making this book, Conversations with Punx, that we’re chatting for. Most of its journey has been synchronistic, and one path leads to the next. It’s all been intuitive. Each conversation I’ve had for it, I’ve walked away with something that’s helped my own life be better.

COCO: That’s one of the rewards for following your own path and going on your journey and doing that thing that is you—being real to you and being nothing but yourself. You totally get that. It’s you and the universe interacting. It’s hard to explain. It’s like, right now, if I look out my window and I saw a fucking dove fly past carrying a rose in its beak, I’d be like, ‘Wow, that was…’ and I tried to explain it, and it’s like, well, what? It was just a bird, you know? But it was more to me. It’s really hard to convey those things to someone else. But when you experience it, it’s like, you realise this couldn’t have happened unless I took that step that I took and the one I decided to take before that. If you take that step, something else happens and meets you. That journey—is the dance of life that people talk about. It’s good to be an active participant in that. 

You have to put a trust in yourself and back yourself. I had to do that with this book. Especially in the beginning, I’d tell my friends what I was working on and a lot of them would be like, ‘Punk and spirituality? Religion! Fuck that.’ They totally did not get it. 

COCO: Yeah, there can be all these outside things when we do stuff that will try to discourage you or not get what you’re doing. You’re definitely not alone in that. But then you keep going, you do you, and you meet people who do get it. It helps give you this affirmation or indication that what you’re doing is what you are meant to be doing. That’s a wonderful feeling.

Yeah, absolutely. If I didn’t keep going, we wouldn’t have had this conversation, I wouldn’t have got to have such an epic chat with Dan Stewart (Straightjacket Nation/UV Race/Total Control) last week, and I wouldn’t have had a the beautiful chat I had with HR (Bad Brains) a few weeks ago. Or anyone else in the book. I still can’t believe I get to make this book! It’s wild.

COCO: I’m dying to read them! 

I can’t wait to share them with everyone. HR was really lovely. Talking to him can be a bit of a roller coaster. I’ve spoken to him a few times over the years. It went a lot better than my chat with Dr Know from Bad Brains, who was condescending and difficult and he kept calling me ‘baby girl.’

COCO: It’s a weird one when you realise that with some people, their creation and who they are, they’re different things. That’s what they say about meeting your heroes sometimes. Maybe people need to not expect the wrong things of people. They are just people. They might be dicks but they might have made something that I may find inspiring and powerful. But if I had a beer with them I might not get along with them but that’s okay too. 

Of course, I don’t always agree with what people do but I like their art. I don’t vibe with people being condescending, though. To me, being called ‘baby girl’ is demeaning, I’m not a fucking child. That brings up the conversation of separating artists from their art. Why sometimes we can do that and sometimes we can’t. 

COCO: Some people, unfortunately, are just a bit horrible to women or outsiders or whatever they might perceive that to be, and that’s a shame that, I guess, we live with. People are fucking complicated. 

I’m glad that HR was cool. Bad Brains, to me, they’re the greatest hardcore punk band of all time. I still, after all the years I’ve listened to stuff and gotten into the best, most obscure bands—whenever that conversation comes up, like the top five bands—it’s easily Bad Brains. They give me everything I want from this music. There’s something really otherworldly and powerful about what their music did.

They’ve had every type of punk and hardcore in their songs. Their performance was amazing. The way it can make you feel—they had you in the palm of their hands. They often said they were channeling stuff. For HR to be able to do those fucking backflips at the end of a song and land on this feet on he last beat—what the fuck, man? That’s crazy. The dude’s not a gymnast. He’s not an athlete. He’s not going to the Olympics. It was this other energy going on, tapping into it and being a part of it.

And that’s why they’re so enduring. We even talked about some of the controversies, like the song ‘Don’t Blow Bubbles’ being anti-gay. He said that at the time it was him following his religion; Rastafarians are known to be homophobic. He said that he feels very differently about it now and would never want to do or say something that harms someone. I think that’s a good example of someone growing and evolving. Often in the world, people don’t give others that room to learn and change and grow, they cancel them rather than have constructive conversations. Like, rather than hate on Bad Brains for it, I asked them about it.

COCO: Totally. We’ve all said and done bad things in the past, and unfortunately, a lot of us will say and do bad things in the future. But when you can come around, realise those things were mistakes, and understand on a deeper level why they were hurtful, it’s part of growing, being yourself, and experiencing the world around you.

Bad Brains were from America—a weird place. D.C., New York, and whatever were weird places at the time. A lot of stuff, like homophobia, was unfortunately really normalise. These strange societal norms can culminate in bad behaviour that maybe wouldn’t happen now, with the benefit of hindsight, growth, and progression. Through conversations and new perspectives, we kind of go, ‘Oh yeah, I don’t say that word anymore. I don’t treat people different from me that way anymore because I realise it’s fucked up.’

That’s really important, especially with all the cancel culture nowadays. Education and thoughtful conversations with people can change lives, open them up to new perspectives, and hopefully, ultimately help make things better for everyone.

COCO: It all comes down to whatever your thoughts and beliefs are. The things that dictate your actions have to come down to effectiveness. If you’re going to shun someone for a certain thing—a word, an action, or whatever—maybe that’s the best way to go about it. But I think, in a lot of cases, it’s not actually the most effective way of dealing with the issue or the person.

Sometimes you need to be more patient with them. I also understand that some people have run out of patience. For example, someone might say, ‘How many men do I have to explain misogyny to? I’m sick of it.’ And that’s fair. In those cases, you might hope there’s someone else who can have that patience and show the person another path. We all draw our own lines in our own places.

That said, there are certain scenarios where I might feel justified in fighting someone or being physical with them. Admittedly, those would be pretty extreme situations—hypotheticals, really. I don’t think it’s the first way to solve problems. But sometimes, it can feel like the quickest and easiest way to get through to someone. For example, if the only way you think they’ll understand is if you hit them, well, not everyone will agree with that approach. It’s a weird one, you know?

People have so many sides to their personalities. It’s not always about being the nicest or the most morally upright. If you look at archetypes throughout human history, war is one of them. Whether it’s a war of thoughts, words, or actions, battles happen everywhere, and we participate in them. Confrontation can take different forms, and that’s okay too. You don’t have to be a pacifist.

Pacifism can sometimes lead to situations where people don’t speak up. I’m not saying violence is the answer, but we’ve all been in situations where someone says something bigoted, and we bite our tongues or walk away. Later, we feel terrible for not saying anything. You end up thinking, ‘I wish I said something’ or, ‘Why didn’t I stand up for what I believe?’

If you’re in a position to do so, you might ask yourself: did I let them know I don’t agree? Did you say, ‘Hey, that’s not cool’? I get that some people might not feel safe speaking up because it could jeopardise their job, physical safety, or social wellbeing. But sometimes, that fire—that fiery nature—exists for a reason.

If you hear something and feel the need to stand up, then stand up. Use your words first. But if people react badly, it’s a different story. I’m lucky enough to be healthy, male, and confident in my body. I’m not afraid of someone trying to punch or fight me. But I know plenty of people who don’t feel that way, and I understand why they might avoid confrontation.

Still, I think it’s important for everyone to find a way to feel powerful and confident in themselves—so they can say and do what they need to without fear. Everyone deserves to be able to stand their ground when and where it matters.

What’s some things that you believe in? What do you value?

COCO: That’s a big question. Like we’ve touched on, I value being yourself. I value respecting other people and their right and ability to be themselves, without harming others. 

I personally believe in connection. To ourselves, our heads and hearts and spirit and imagination, to each other, to the world around us and inside us, seen and unseen. 

I feel that we are full of potentiality, but I recognise just how much we can be stifled at seemingly any turn. Life will be a struggle for everyone and everything at some point, and every living thing finds its own way of facing this struggle. It perhaps is fitting to include something which I wrote on the anniversary of the death of a musician near and dear to my heart. 

In recent times a lot of us are coming face to face with ourselves; with our bodily health, our mental health, our wellbeing and what that truly means. We are confronting our own framework for caring for ourselves and each other; our existence, our mortality and what that means. I am reminded that each and every one of us have something wonderful to offer and many truly rich things to experience. I am reminded, and would like to remind you, that by pursuing our ambitions we can also reach and impact others in a way which is meaningful, mighty, magical and immortal.

We have to look out for each other and take care of each other and support each other. 

The societies and cultures we find ourselves in say that they value people becoming and being their best selves but instead their collective actions show us, and what we perhaps sadly see more commonly, this ruling class sanctioned sort of life which values a certain order and commodity structure which really does not have everybody’s best interest at its heart. I imagine it’s been this way for a long time. I think this is where we find people gravitating towards an underground culture or a community which people can be a part of where in its best or ideal instances will dictate its own values and nurture people in its own way. Whether or not it’s perfect, at the very least it’s an alternative, and it’s often the lesser of many evils for a lot of us; a step in our own direction. 

I have respect for the natural world—all the critters and creatures out there in the land, sea, and air, and the plants. We just get in touch with who we are and what’s real in the world—that’s really important. Stay up all night, watch the sun go down, and then watch it rise again. There are all these things that help us find our own values through our experiences. We have to work these things out for ourselves.

Like any of us, it’s the things that lead to joy and fulfilment. I’m not talking about cheap joy or fake things. There’s a lot of weak, weak pleasures out there—stuff that’s just not worthwhile. Again, we will draw our own lines there. I’m talking about a healthy way of leading to satisfaction and joy, and bringing love.

A lot of the time, we circle back to when we were angry about something, or when we feel the need to fight, shout, or rebel over something. That often comes from a place of love too. If you hate something, it’s because you love something, whatever that is. It’s just about working out why that is and understanding it. And guiding yourself from there. Sometimes you might get angry over something, and it might be like, ‘Oh man, that’s because I love my comfort, and now something’s going to happen and inconvenience me.’ And now I’m really angry. It’s like, well, shit, man, that’s not really worthwhile, is it?

Anything else you’d like to share?

COCO: We all should be valued, but those weird lines about where you are, what you do, and whether that’s considered valuable or not in scenes really bum me out sometimes. Some people that are known and popular get treated better than others, especially in underground music. It bothers me that some people get a pass, and all this adoration—or whatever the fuck it is that people suck up to—while someone else, who’s a genuinely nice person doing cool stuff, doesn’t get noticed or respected the same way. They don’t get treated equally, and that really does bother me.

That bothers me too. It’s weird that even in underground music communities there’s a hierarchy and it’s about popularity. And I’ve never bought into liking something because everyone else does, often it’s not the most popular things that are the raddest. Doing Gimmie we know so many talented people that consistently put out great, great work but it largely goes under appreciated. If you were to look at mainstream music publications or even indie blogs etc. in this country as a guide of what is happening in Australian music, you’d think it was fucking lame. But we know there’s a whole underground making Australia one of THE best places in the world for music right now.

COCO: Totally! The world is a richer place because of people like you guys doing your thing and sharing stories with ideas where artists are equal, and through your words promoting meaningful, worthwhile things to the world. We’re all better off because of that. Gimmie adds so much value to our community and the world. I totally believe in that.

LISTEN/BUY Romansy here. FIND/EXPLORE Lulu’s here and Cool Death Records here.

Fun facts: Around the time of our chat, Coco was listening to MMA and philosophy podcasts, a lot of obscure black and death metal (including the latest StarGazer (SA) LP, Psychic Secretions), some country blues, and Pop Smoke and Stormzy. At the gym, he was rolling with the (then-new) EXEK and Low Life records and thought the new Romero LP was “smashing.” He’d recently picked up the Sick Things 7”, which he enthused was “a total ripper.”

Gut Health’s Athina Uh Oh: ‘Don’t be afraid to be your authentic self.’

Original photo: Jhonny Russell. Handmade collage by B.

Catching her breath. 2024 has been a big year for Athina Uh Oh and Naarm-based dance-punks, Gut Health. Between tours, a release, making videos and winning awards—it’s been hectic. It’s early November when Gimmie catches up with the singer to talk about their debut banger of an album Stiletto. The record pulls from Athina’s diverse passions—punk history, the psychology of sadomasochism,  kink and queer history, and a sharp critique of capitalism and contemporary so-called Australia and its politics. Gut Health are a band full of surprises that straddle a line between rage and fun. We also discuss the band’s recent European tour and the relaunch of Highly Contagious, a creative project she’s been collaborating on with partner and bassist Adam Markmann. The project now spans a record label, events, and sometimes underground music zine, all tied to outsider music. In this conversation, Athina opens up about anxiety, self-talk, compassion, and the ongoing journey of building confidence. We also dive into her background and gain a look into the band’s creative mind.

ATHINA UH OH: How’s your morning been? 

GIMMIE: Good! We just got back from the coffee shop. It’s nice to see our local barista most mornings. Actually, it’s nice to see all the small business owners and people we encounter every day in our neighbourhood. We’ve gotten to know them over the time we’ve lived here.

AUO: That’s great! I love that feeling when you can go do that, and you can have that “hello” in the morning.

Totally. I get that from my mum—she always knew everyone in our neighbourhood. She’d talk to everyone and always took a genuine interest in them. Connecting with people and the community was always important to her.

AUO: Definitely. I feel grateful to have a great community around me, but sometimes in this city, it can feel like, okay, don’t look at each other as you walk past on the street. Then, when I go somewhere warmer, like a regional town, everyone’s like, ‘Hey, how you going?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, this is nice. I feel like a human.’

Coming back from overseas this year on tour, that was one of the main things I noticed. Being back in the norm felt strange. Even though it’s a big city, things are quite spread out compared to a lot of European cities. As you’re walking down the street, you might not see someone for a while, and then when you do, you don’t make eye contact. I remember finding that quite confronting when I got back.

Yeah, I noticed when we go down to Naarm (Melbourne), every suburb feels so self-contained. Each one has everything it needs, and you can stay in your little bubble without needing to venture anywhere else.

AUO: Absolutely. One thing that’s great here—but also a bit limiting—is that you can forget to explore the other side of town. We have venues here, which is nice. Someone from Eora (Sydney) described it to me recently as being more event-based rather than venue-based. Here, you can go to a venue and think, ‘I feel like seeing a gig tonight or hanging out with certain people,’ and know you’ll probably bump into someone you relate to or stumble across a gig.

Luckily, we still have a few of those kinds of venues around, where the community comes together, where people actually look each other in the eye and wave.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Speaking of baristas, Al from Wet Kiss and Tongue Dissolver used to be my barista when he lived here! I love bands like those, and also Gut Health, that combine all these different elements to create something interesting and unique musically. Meanjin (Brisbane) and Yugambeh Country (Gold Coast) seem to foster a lot of different kinds of bands, like Guppy. The crowds here are pretty open to something different, which is awesome.

AUO: Totally. Every time we’ve played there, the crowds have been so welcoming. People aren’t crossing their arms and staring blankly—they’re getting involved and not afraid to jump around. It feels like they genuinely appreciate live music happening there, which is really nice.Yeah, and there’s such a good scene there. So much music from Meanjin that I love!

Wet Kiss and Tongue Dissolver are killing it. They traverse so many genres and play all these different events. Every time I’ve seen them live, it’s completely electric. We were lucky enough that Tongue Dissolver played at our EP launch last year. The whole crowd was bouncing up and down—so freaking good.

We feel the same way about Gut Health! It’s been so cool to watch you continue to evolve and grow and get even better.

AUO: I respond to the world around me and what that brings, especially in a contemporary context. Everyone in the band comes from different musical backgrounds; there wasn’t one set genre we all came from. When Adam and I started the band in the midst of lockdown, around the same time he was doing Highly Contagious, it was during the early stages of our relationship, like a honeymoon phase.

We realised there were all these intersections of our tastes. A lot of that came from the late 70s and early 80s Rough Trade period, as well as no wave. We can’t personally relate to the movements of that time—they were dealing with completely different circumstances—but the way genres and styles collided, like dub and punk in London or downtown and uptown New York, really resonated with us. That mesh of styles became a big part of how our band’s sound naturally developed. Adam, Dom, Myka, and I all drew inspiration from that era when we started demoing.

The band began in early to mid-2021, and it really helped me with inner confidence and personal struggles. Some of my close friends who’ve known me since I was a teenager say, ‘Athina, I’m so proud of you. You’ve grown so much.’ I used to struggle with speaking up for myself and was constantly apologising, even when it wasn’t necessary.

I was trying to be the “nice guy” to my detriment, believing kindness should always overrule everything. But I’ve learned you need other outlets too. You can’t always stay positive because that’s not realistic—the world is a messed-up place. Having a safe space to let go of rage and inner emotions has been incredibly cathartic.

For me, it’s helped me feel more level-headed, even though I still get anxiety. Performing gives me a way to release emotions in a healthy way. On stage, I can express anger, be mad at the world, and embrace the energy from the crowd. It’s this incredible, cathartic experience where I lose a sense of myself.

Before I go on stage, I get nervous, but once I’m up there, nothing compares to that feeling. It’s helped me realise I don’t have to apologise for everything. Mistakes happen, and imposter syndrome can creep in, but self-talk has been key. I remind myself it’s okay to mess up, that I’m growing, and that most people won’t even remember the little things I worry about.

These processes have helped me a lot in recent years, giving me confidence and helping me let go of things in a healthier way.

Yeah, I agree. I think sometimes we worry so much that people will care about something we’re doing or how we look or whatever, but most of the time we’re just psyching ourselves out, and people don’t actually care because they’re wrapped up in themselves. 

We are very similar people—sensitive, empathetic, and compassionate about the world. I can tell you think a lot! I saw on Insta something your mum said about how, even as a kid, you didn’t want to eat meat. And with her being Greek—a mum putting lamb on the table—that was different for her. You were like, ‘I just don’t want to eat the animals.’

AUO:Yeah, when I was younger, I found out that pigs are kind of similar to humans or something like that, and I thought they were really cute. So I never ate pork because of that. 

You’re so right. I’ve always said that any sort of art I create or collaborate on is a compassion project. It’s half a passion project and half coming from compassion, using that as an intention behind everything. It reminds me of who I am as a human and why I want to create.

You grew up in St Kilda?

AUO: Yeah, my parents lived in St Kilda separately before they got together. Since they were both 18, during all the Espy days. We lived in the Balaclava area while I was growing up. There were still remnants of all that, but it wasn’t quite like ’80s St Kilda. I still love it around there—being there and seeing all the remnants of Art Deco. You can still spot the old rock dogs too. I have friends who staunchly stay in St Kilda because they’ve just never left. They’re like, ‘Nah, St Kilda’s it.’ So yeah, I have a soft spot for that area as well.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Last time we interviewed you, I asked why music was important to you, and you said it came back to your upbringing and how that really influenced it. In what ways?

AUO: I guess from both sides of my family. My grandpa was obsessed with jazz music, a big collector. He was an accountant but collected trumpets throughout his whole life. Apparently, he’d come home from work, spend hours playing the trumpet in the back of my dad’s house, and just lose himself in it. My grandma, I think, did conducting in church—not because they were religious, but because they liked the community feel of it. They gave Dad the option of whether he wanted to get christened. He ended up reading the Bible for education, decided he couldn’t accept it, but still enjoyed going to the choirs.

That love of music was always there. Dad collected soul, blues, rock and roll—all kinds of music. On Mum’s side, they listened to a lot of Greek music, like rumbetico. They were big lovers of art, creativity, and quite leftist in their views. So, I grew up listening to all kinds of stuff—soul, blues, rock and roll.

From a very young age—apparently Dad put on a record… I was three years old, and I grew a love for this group called The Stylistics. He would play it, and when I was in prep, I was like, ‘This is important education.’ I took the CD to my class and made everyone lie down and listen to the song during nap time. I was just lying there crying, like, ‘This is so beautiful.’

And who else? They’d put on a song by The Collins Kids. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them—it was early rockabilly. I remember jumping over the walls, just from one side of the living room to the other. I’ve always just loved music.

During high school, I grew more of a love for punk and rock and roll, kind of traversing all those genres. Music has always been part of my family. I grew up going to gigs, it became like a second home. In high school I got quite into dance music, sneaking out to events. That’s where the more dance-y elements of our music come from. As much as I want to let out rage, I also want people to dance around and let loose too.

I know Betty Davis’ debut album had a big impact on you; what drew you to her?

AUO: It’s kind of embarrassing [laughs]—it was on one of those, like, ‘Oh, I’ve just gone through my first heartbreak, and this is my fuck-you playlist.’ Betty had that song that went, like, ‘No, I don’t want to love you,’ and I just thought that was so badass when I discovered it. I was like, ‘What? A woman can just be this out there?’ I was in my Senior Year when I discovered it. I found it so healing and thought, how badass and unapologetic she was!

That really threw me in—her voice was incredible. Ever since then, I go back to her when I want to feel a bit badass or remind myself of that as I’m walking down the street.

I’m loving looking at that record collection behind you!

Photo: Jhonny Russell

We love records. Jhonny & I have been both collecting since we were teens. Unfortunately now, we’re priced out of buying new records. Vinyl prices are the most expensive they’ve ever been—$80-100 for a record is something we can’t afford.

AUO: It’s wild. I was working at a record store this year, and it has changed a bit in terms of people buying records and just the cost of living in general.

I’ve never gone the full deep dive because, coming from more of a film and photography background, I’ve already got these other expensive hobbies I’m spending money on. I know my bank account would be completely wiped if I got too into records. But it’s so tempting, especially when I was working at the record store. There were so many at Rowdy’s that I was like, ‘Oh my god, I want this.’

Speaking of records, yours, Stiletto is one of our favourite albums of the 2024. We’ve been waiting for the full-length because we love you guys. Seeing you first play at The Retreat a couple of years back, was really special.

AUO: That’s so nice to hear. It means so much that you guys were there early on. That was still us finding our feet and building confidence, but for people coming in off the street to watch, it might have seemed fully formed back then.

Every single member felt integral to what was happening. You had this visible connection, like a friendship—you could tell you’re all friends who just share a love of music.

AUO: I feel extremely grateful for the band I play with. I talk about building confidence, but it’s really about having people you trust around you. It’s about feeling like you’re not afraid to throw ideas out or be at a certain level of understanding with chords or arrangements.

We communicate really well, and if there’s ever a minor conflict, it’s easy to talk through because everyone is kind and understanding. That carries through on stage too. There’s this connection running through everything.

The funny thing is, we weren’t all close friends before starting the band, but we’ve built this family through the project, which is special in itself. Thank you so much for supporting us early on!

This has been my first main musical project that I’ve really thrown myself into. I’d tried a couple of other projects before, but this one felt different. From the start, our goal was this idea that playing a gig is like doing a thousand rehearsals.

Coming out of lockdown, I wanted to prove to myself that we could play gigs relentlessly, learn as much as we could, forge friendships, and find support along the way.

I’m really grateful everyone in the band was keen to do that because, a couple of years later, I feel like we’ve learned so much. It’s led to some really fun opportunities.

The Stiletto album cover is striking; what was the thought behind it?

AUO: To start off with, a lot of the visual elements and lyrics I draw on come from my passions, which include punk history, sadomasochism (the psychology of it)h, kink history, and queer history. A lot of contrasting ideas, like the performative and real states of being, soft and hard, dominant and submissive, are themes I explore. I tend to think very visually, and that comes through in my lyrics as well.

The front cover draws on a lot of those elements and themes. The contrast between the performative and real, and the image of the stiletto itself, represents those contrasts. The idea of feminine and masculine also plays into that.

What does stiletto mean to me? It ties into the soft and hard thing, where it can be this dominant image. The strength of high femme comes into it as well. When I dress up high femme, it’s about enjoying the performative elements.

The idea of stepping into something soft often comes up in my head, and it represents contemporary consumerism in a done-up, performative way. I don’t generally explain what my lyrics mean, but a lot of it touches on contemporary political issues.

Subverting, which is common in punk covers, the image of a stiletto plays into that idea. Even though the photo is high-definition, I was drawing on that concept a little.

It critiques capitalism. The song ‘Stiletto’ itself is a reflection or criticism of contemporary Australia and the funny elements of it, like this fake colony.

As a First Nations person, it makes a lot of sense. I get it. Was there anything in particular, though, that sparked the song? Like, it might not be specifically about it, but something that was there that sparked the idea?

AUO: It’s interesting because that was a stream of consciousness poem I had. A set of words I had written in notes on my iPhone in my early 20s. I had it sitting there, then in our rehearsal, quite naturally, everyone started jamming. I did that over it, and we built the dynamic of the song. It’s always been sort of like half improvisation, all that song. We’ve been really enjoying writing music like that recently.

All of us listen to this podcast. Do you listen to No Dogs in Space? It’s one of my favourites. We listened to four episodes of Can recently and found it so inspiring. 

Photo: Jhonny Russell

I love that podcast. I actually interviewed Damo Suzuki a few years back.

AUO: Wow. Well, the composition idea—where they’d jam for hours and then cut up the song to make it—was how Stiletto was made. I really want to keep experimenting with that process because that song, in particular, is where I feel the most cathartic. It was really feeling-driven when we were writing it.

I originally wrote those lyrics reflecting on contemporary so-called Australia, from a sympathetic level. All these funny things about it and how messed up it must be for First Nations peoples. We’re just here, drinking a frothy can, building concrete areas, mixed with the beauty of the sunset and all these plastic houses.

I love that there’s so much in your songs, so many layers to dig down into.

AUO: I really want people to make their own interpretation. The interpretation of what the song is can be so layered for me as well. I might have just written a stream of consciousness, based on images that, upon reflection, mean something to me. 

Often, people I interview don’t know what it’s about until they’ve listened back to the song later on. Then they can see it and say, ‘Okay, this was happening. I can tie this to my day or my year,’ or to what they were feeling.

AUO: We all agree as a band that part of it is being able to feel this outlet of consensual rage, as an audience member. We want people to create meaning for themselves because that allows them to feel what they want to feel—at the gig, or listening back to the song. I don’t want to overexplain things and shift the meaning for myself in that process. Sometimes, the meaning may shift depending on how I feel when performing the song.

That’s the beauty of art. As humans, we bring our own lens and experience to whatever we’re listening to or viewing. That’s why some things resonate and others don’t.

AUO: Definitely. 

Listening to your album certain words came to mind: rebellion, community, nonconformity. As well as, the critiquing of things like hidden forces, manipulations within society or personal relationships that force and shape our life without even our awareness sometimes. 

AUO: Yeah. 

I also got the sentiment of a search for something real beyond artifice.

AUO:  Yeah, definitely. That is another big thing about creating art, for myself at least—feeling that state of flow, being with the people you’re performing to or being with your band and feeling in the moment. I feel like that is so real, and nothing can really beat that feeling. But also being like, hey, yeah, let’s be real with each other for a moment. Despite all this shit going on—walls, ideas, or things like that—let’s talk to each other. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Another thing that I got from your album was themes of exploring individual identity. 

AUO: Living your truth in whatever way you want. If it is unconventional, it doesn’t even matter, despite society’s judgments.

I’ve always been an introvert-extrovert. I enjoy a sense of privacy but also want to be the most authentic version of myself to others. So, it’s a good platform to explore that as well. Even seeing the band members come into themselves more—being more confident, performing on stage—has been really beautiful to watch. You know, Adam used to not be able to look anyone in the eyes or at the camera when we first started, but now he’s so in his element when he’s performing. That’s really beautiful to watch.

I was literally having a conversation with Adam about this recently. It was like, you’ve got this over here and this over here. Don’t be afraid to be your authentic self. There are certain things that I will slowly reveal more of as I go.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

I know it must have been a different or a bit hard growing up because your dad is a well-known musician. I grew up with my dad being a celebrated race car driver in the 60s, and sometimes we’d walk down the street and people would be like, ‘Hey!’

AUO: Yeah, I’ve generally said in interviews I didn’t want to talk about it. At the start, with the relentless gigging, I really wanted to prove to myself that it was on my own merit. People are going to think whatever they think. They might not know that, in those first two years, I wasn’t telling anyone who my dad was. My bandmates didn’t know until my mum came to a gig because I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. My dad has been so supportive. 

I saw on his Instagram, he often mentions how proud he is of you.

AUO: Both my mum and dad are so proud of me and so stoked for me. It’s nice to see family support chasing your dream. I’m so grateful for that. They’re so good to my friends as well. Dad totally understood where I was coming from at the start, not wanting to share that. He’s been through all of that head-fuck stuff, and people can think certain things, but whatever.

They’re so supportive, and it’s nice to have parents who are like, ‘Oh, you’re doing art that makes no money. I’m so proud’ [laughs]. It’s cool. They’ll find interviews I haven’t even read yet, like, ‘Oh my god.’ It’s really beautiful, and they’re both big music lovers.

The reason Dad got into music was obviously his grandparents, but he was enlisted to go to the Vietnam War. A couple of weeks before he was meant to go, he broke his leg after getting hit by a car. The only people who visited him in the hospital were new friends he’d made, and they bought him a harmonica. That’s how he got into music. He’s got so many stories like that. He’s confident but not a boaster, though he is about certain things [laughs]. 

He’s an introvert,-extrovert, like you?

AUO: Exactly. My parents are hype men, basically. 

That’s so awesome! Is there anything that you find hard about making art? 

AUO: For sure. Coming into yourself and the creative process, sometimes just allowing that to happen, remembering there are no set rules to it. I generally have a little perfectionist brain, so sometimes I find it hard to start something because I’m nervous the outcome won’t be good. A lot of this process has been about reprogramming in that way.

You gotta remember that you can always start something and then if it doesn’t go how you want, just stop and do something else. 

AUO:Exactly. The best way I had that described to me, which literally changed how I think about things, was thinking of a scale between zero and 100. Zero being zero catastrophe, and 100 being something completely unchangeable, like you die or the world ends. Then you look at what you’re anxious about and ask, ‘What is it on that scale?’ Usually it’s before 50, and visualising how little of a catastrophe it is really helps.

I’ve just started doing a synth course and piano lessons. Jonnine [Nokes] from screensaver is the teacher for the synth course. It’s awesome. I’ve only done the first class, but everyone came in with such different backgrounds and experiences. I wanted to change the idea of ‘I should just have a go and get started on it.’ Same with the piano. A friend of a friend is teaching me, and every time I get something right, they’re so excited. It’s nice having that encouragement.

That feeling of encouragement is how it feels in the band too. Everyone’s excited, and that collaboration energy is great. Changing up the creative process has been nice. For Adam’s birthday, each band member put in cash to buy something related to the band; we do that for each person’s birthday. This year, we got Adam a writing trip with us out in a house. It was so nice. We stayed in a rainforest, smoked all day, put a Zoom recorder on, and for 10 hours a day, we jammed. We hardly even spoke to each other because we’re so used to each other now.

Out of all the things you’ve done in 2024; what’s something that’s meant the most to you? 

AUO: There are a couple of highlight gigs. One was, Panama festival. We played at 12 AM and everyone was coming up, they were on and it had this real club feeling to it. It was just like so fun.It was my ideal gig. And same when we were played a couple of DIY venues in Leipzig and Berlin. Meeting community there was really special. Touring Europe was a dream goal, something I didn’t think I’d have the money or resources to take that off the bucket list.

It’s been really exciting doing Highly Contagious stuff with Adam again. It’s been really fun doing a couple of those events. We did one earlier this year and then shifted it into this album, label, and events space. Getting to brainstorm with Adam again and mesh all of these genres related to outsider music has been super fun. I feel like there’s such an innate drive for me to find new music and explore certain artists. Thinking about curation has been super fun too.

Starting the label properly with this LP has been exciting. We got label services help, but it’s our label, and we also want to release our own stuff independently—sending everything out ourselves, doing all the back end. We’ve been talking with a friend to release their LP in 2025. 

Generally, getting to do this music stuff is a lot when you’re trying to pay rent in between everything, but I wouldn’t change getting to do this for four days a week or whatever. Focusing on it has been a really special change this year.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

It all sounds so exciting. On a side note, I’ve been dying to hear about when you and Adam went to Egypt! 

AUO: It’s the kind of place where you want to spend more time there to understand it, to be respectful because there are so many layers. It’s beautiful. So many different empires and countries have tried to have a piece of it and, unfortunately, left it in not the best state. In terms of history, it was incredible. It was so wild to be in Alexandria, standing above an old city, and we stood where the Library of Alexandria was. 

My Greek family, some of them are from Alexandria. Mum’s cousin is from there, because there are a lot of Greeks and Copts there. We went into a catacomb where the ritual of smashing plates at weddings was invented. It was so wild to think about that. Alexandria in particular has the remnants of a mixture of all these different cultures. It was absolutely wild. The food and people we met along the way were amazing too.

Amazing! I’ll end by asking: What’s something you’re really looking forward to?

AUO: We’re supporting Primal Scream in January. It should be fun.

I love that you play with so many diverse acts.

AUO: Yeah, I don’t want to say it’s at our peril, but sometimes I think about it. It gets you thinking: ‘Do these people accept me?’ But then I realise that it’s special we can do that. We can be friends with people from all different scenes and be accepted to play gigs with them. That’s what music is about for me—it’s not about fitting into one particular scene. You learn a lot from different scenes. That’s really special for me.

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Alex Macfarlane: ‘You can’t really ever regret working within your means and not grasping at every opportunity for the big time. You can always be happy that you’ve done things yourself.’

Original photo: Füj / Handmade collage by B.

Alex Macfarlane is a passionate music enthusiast with a deep appreciation for creativity and individuality. He values authenticity and the unpolished nature of music, often prioritising natural expression over technical perfection. Alex is deeply connected to the music community, he plays in Faceless Burial, The Green Child, Francis Plange, and played in The Stevens, The Twerps, Tyrannmen, Pious Faults and more. His commitment to fostering creativity is evident in his role in starting a label, Hobbies Galore, to support artists he loves, like Mikey Young, The Stroppies, Blank Realm, and J McFarlane’s Reality Guest, as well as his own solo releases. Above all, Alex embraces the unexpected, finding beauty in unconventional music and performance.

Gimmie caught up with Alex for an in-depth conversation that spanned a couple of hours. In this epic chat, we dive into his musical life—from playing with his dad in a prog band as a teenager, to his one-man grind band in high school to now. We also touch on his lifelong friendships with local musicians who inspire him, his new album Meanderings, the Faceless album they’re working on, international bands he’s helping bring out, and his experience running the label. Plus, we discuss his writing process, the music and bands he’s been getting into recently, burnout, books that have had a big impact, and so much more!

ALEX MACFARLANE: Having been involved in various other labels—being on them—and being like, ‘Why does it all have to fit into the calendar? And why does this need to go here? Or why do we need to do that? Why do we need to have video clips and photos and that kind of stuff?’ It’s like, can’t we just do what we like?

Exactly. I think it’s weird that everyone often conforms to certain ways of releasing an album that’s set by particular systems that I don’t really care for. I was really happy that you released your latest album, your solo release Meanderings on a Monday. Because the standard is to release things on Fridays.

AM: Well, I don’t work Mondays. I usually get most orders on the first day, so I thought, anyone who ordered on that day would be in the post that afternoon.

I love when a label is prompt with mailing out orders. I’ve experienced many labels (unfortunately many indie ones) that take ages and have little care for getting your order out to you in a reasonable time once they have your money, which sucks. I find too, that when everything comes out on the Friday, there’s so much new stuff that sometimes things get lost and I don’t always see everything, and miss out on seeing/hearing some cool stuff. 

AM: I feel like I’m pretty tapped out on Fridays as well. By the time I get to the end of the week, I don’t feel very like absorbent for new things. 

Cover illustration by Travis MacDonald

I get that. What do you do for a job? 

AM: I work for a bunch of barristers in the city, where I was the mailman for seven years, delivering parcels to the courts and stuff like that. Eventually, they found out that I recorded music. So now they’ve got me, basically, going around fixing people’s fax machines, and they’ve got me recording a podcast for them. I do the sound for live webinars too. Anything that has an electronic element, I’m now doing. But it led to me getting calls from random barristers at all hours, being like, ‘I can’t get my Zoom to work,’ and that kind of stuff. But then, suddenly, it leaked into day-to-day life.

Do you like that work or did you prefer being in the mail room? 

AM: I got to walk around, and no one really knew what you were doing, which was good [laughs].

I noticed that you put out your first Hobbies Galore release on October the 4th, 2016. Today is October 1st, so in the next week it’s coming up to your labels eight year anniversary!

AM: There you go. I wouldn’t have known that. That was a while ago. I’m trying to remember where I was at that point. I was living in Footscray, and memories are a little hazy from that time. It definitely happened, there’s obviously a definitive date. 

What have you been up to lately? 

AM: Pretty busy. It’s always busy with music stuff. The last couple of weeks were really busy because I’ve been playing in the band, The Green Child. We’ve been trying to figure out how to turn it from a recording project into a live project. That’s been a lot of programming sounds and relearning songs that I maybe didn’t think I was ever gonna play live.

Then a similar thing coincided with Pious Faults, who I was playing with the other night. I recorded a bunch of keyboards for their new album. Then they were like, ‘Do you want to play this show with us?’ So I said sure, but that, again, was a bunch of stuff I wasn’t considering actually playing live. So I was relearning all of that.

I also had to relearn the Frances Plange set. All his songs are 20 minutes long with no repeating parts. On top of all that, the metal band, Faceless Burial, I’m playing in is recording this coming weekend. It’s this 18-minute song with a million notes in it.

And we’re also booking this festival in November, where we’re bringing out two international acts—friends of ours from Copenhagen and New York. We’re organising nine visas, internal flights, accommodation, venues, and all that kind of stuff.

Then I’ve got the sort of four-ish releases on the label at the moment, and they’re all getting posted out all the time, so there’s that to finish. That all happened in the last month.

Before that, I was doing a lot of solo shows, which I’ve now cut off so I can have some time to think about these other things. Prior to that, it was just a string of international tours with the metal band. We had two Euro tours, the second one just Scandinavia. Then we got back for a week, went to Southeast Asia, came back from that, did a national tour, and then went straight into all the solo shows, which led me up to this time.

Phew! You do more in a few months than a lot of people do all year. I admire that work ethic. Do you like being that busy? 

AM: I think so. I mean, yeah, I have always been playing in a lot of bands at once. As long as all of the bands are completely different, it’s fine. I’d have a harder time if I was playing the same instrument in every band, or if the projects sounded similar. I’d feel like it’s less necessary to be doing them all at once. The individual ones, keep me on track a bit, so that I don’t try and put some horrendous metal riff in a folk song or something like that [laughs]. I’ve got compartmentalised sections in which I can more effectively channel things.

I know there was one point where you were doing six bands at once. Have you ever got burnt out from doing so much? 

AM: Yeah, I’m pretty, pretty constantly burnt out. I don’t really sleep very much. There’s a genetic insomnia thing that’s hard to beat. I feel like I don’t really relax very often, or if I do, it’s reading or listening to records. There’s always some sort of activity; I’m always up and doing things. I’ve found ways to be able to do a lot of projects at home, I find it relaxing to be at home working on projects. I definitely find being out of the house to be the taxing aspect of it. Even though I really like seeing people, seeing other bands, and collaborating with people, I would sort of—if I was working on a solo release—I wouldn’t really find that to be a tiring experience. That would be what I do in the downtime from shows.

Like I mentioned earlier, you just released Meanderings, and I was looking back at your catalog, and noticed that you’ve released over 100 solo songs. Why do you like writing songs? 

AM: I really like it, but it’s always just been a compulsion. I’ve been playing in bands since I was like five. From early high school, I was regularly gigging in pub bands.

The writing was my reprieve from that. At that point, I was drumming in everything—I wasn’t playing any other instruments. I was teaching myself how to play guitar and record stuff as the break from that. I was doing pretty shitty at school, so I guess it was an escape from that as well.

It’s kind of been a way of diary keeping. The songs became less and less autobiographical because I realised that if I wrote stuff about what was entirely happening to me personally, I’d never want to hear or sing those songs again. So they became more a way of cataloging everything I was seeing, reading, watching, or listening to.

It would be very rare that I would ever listen to anything again that I’ve written or recorded. But if I look back at the song titles, I can occasionally remember what I was reading or thinking about, or trying to combine at the time.

I got into home recording pretty early. It’s just a fun and funny thing to do.

Having a foundation playing drums, does that influence the way that you think about songwriting at all? 

AM: It definitely makes me wish that I could afford to rent a house where I could play drums—like something that’s larger and doesn’t have neighbours all around it. I miss playing drums, it definitely gives me more natural timing. 

I was playing bongos in my dad’s band when I was a child. That was a decent foundation—well, purely only in skills that stem directly from playing bongos, not really a decent foundation in the accumulation of wealth or anything like that, something someone else might find to be important. But, the bongos is a good place to start. It definitely, definitely set me up.

Your album’s called Meanderings, and meandering is kind of wandering and not really having a direction, just taking it slow; was that the approach you took to writing this collection of songs?

AM: Yeah, I would say so. Generally, I don’t realise that I’ve got a release until I’ve got too much for a release, and so I’ll cut it down from a bunch of songs. It always seems like a random amalgamation of all kinds of different things that I was working on all at once. I see them all together and I think, ‘Oh, that could make a release.’ And then I seal that off as one point and then move on from there.

It’s certainly the approach to any solo thing that I’ve ever done. It has been relatively aimless. The binding factor becomes clear only once all of the elements are on the table.

I really loved the Lucky Dip release in 2021, where you made 15 tapes taking portions from over a hundred unreleased songs, making a unique tape for each person. Even the art was one of a kind for each.

AM: That was during lockdown, so I had some spare time. I had a lot of spare music, folders and folders of things that weren’t necessarily good enough on their own, but I didn’t want to throw them in the bin.

I had a bunch of cassettes from a defective pressing of the first Hot Topic release, who became J McFarlane’s Reality Guest. The first bunch of tapes had someone else’s music pressed on them, so I had spare 20-minute tapes. I made a playlist that lasted the amount of time that all of those tapes would take to run through. 

I played that playlist for a whole day, and into the night, and put tapes in as it was coming up to a random point that people would get on the release. All of the covers were folded photographs taken from either around the house or the last trip I’d taken before lockdown.

I don’t really like wasting stuff. I figured I may as well do something with the tapes, and didn’t want to waste the tracks, so it seemed like a good way to free both of them from my house and mind.

Do you have any idea how many songs you’ve written? There seems to be hundreds and hundreds, like, too many to count.

AM: I’m not sure. Some of the bands that I was playing in had really short songs. So we’d have a lot on an album. Prior to any of that, I did maybe 15 albums in high school under the name Major Macfarlane, which were burnt CDRs with hand-drawn covers. They were extremely disposable. Songs would be, my friend Gus playing slap bass and me destroying a mandolin over the top of it or something. And then I’d be like, that’s a release! [laughs]. Let’s put that out. 

Luckily, that was more before most people had internet and things really got digitised. That stuff doesn’t really exist on the internet, which I’m happy about. Because most of it would be pretty embarrassing, but it does exist. Some people have sent me photos, that  they’ve still got it, and it always kind of seems like a threat.

That’s so cool you were doing that so early. I remember when I was in school I’d make zines, and people didn’t seem to understand that you could actually make your own things, you didn’t have to wait to finish school or didn’t have to be a professional or make it perfect.

AM: That’s it. When I was starting to record music and had a CD burner, I felt like it was a really good way to show other people that you can make stuff as well. You could have them feature in your project, or record someone and seal off where they’re at, and then put it out. Even if it’s in really meagre quantities, you still have that record.

A lot of that maybe you wish wasn’t documented, but at the same time, it’s better than wondering, ‘I wonder what that was like.’ Yeah. It was—oh, it was horrible [laughs].

I look back on all my old zines and totally cringe, but you’ve got to start somewhere. I didn’t know what I was doing. I just wanted to share all this cool stuff, bands and music, that was happening around me.

AM: Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s a similar motivation that was getting me to do things as well—being able to not be precious about things. When you have the pressure of a real label or a larger publisher or something, I can imagine it would be that pressure of thinking whatever you put out has to be a really concise, a boiling down of where you’re at, at the time— I feel that stunts your ability to move forward. If there’s a lot of pressure on something, and then maybe it gets let down with the way it’s received. If you do it in smaller quantities and a lot quicker, you don’t have as much time to think, ‘I should have changed that.’ Then you’re already thinking about how you can amend those errors on your next release, rather than thinking about how you should have done it on the one that’s already out.

There’s a lot to be said for like that spontaneity. I really like a lot of music when people record stuff and they’re recording the song as they’re making it. Sometimes if you record something over and over and over, it can lose the magic that first take had. 

AM: The majority of bands that I’ve been in, I’ve done at least some of the recording. Many bands that I’ve played in, that would be very demo quality to someone else, but if that does the trick, then there’s no point in trying to do like a slick version of it.

One band that I was playing in, The Stevens, we had really low standards for what was releasable. There was a larger international label that we looked up to a lot when we were getting into music. They called up because they were interested in putting out the record, and they were like, ‘We really love the demos. When’s the album going to be ready?’ And we’re like, ‘That’s the album. Sorry. It’s not gonna get any better than that.’ 

So, you might miss some opportunities, but I feel like it’s a fairly true way of doing things. I feel like you can’t really ever regret working within your means and not grasping at every opportunity for the big time. You can always be happy that you’ve done things yourself.

Totally! I don’t think you could pay me to be a part of the big time or industry. The music industry has never been kind to me.

AM: Those two words need to be separated as quickly as possible. 

Yep! [Laughter]. I’ve seen many bands I love get caught up in bad deals and situations chasing the wrong things, and I think what they ended up creating suffered for that. 

AM: Yeah, without a doubt. I feel like if it gets a hold of you at the wrong time, when you’re young for example, it creates a bunch of, in my opinion, incorrect reasons for making things. I guess there’s no incorrect reason, but there are less pure intentions.

I remember I was talking to Shogun from Royal Headache/Antenna, a little while ago, and he was talking about when their band blew up, and he told me that at the time, he was hating every second of it. 

AM: Yeah, that is often the case. 

I’ve been around a while now, I’ve seen it happen over and over again, and sometimes it destroys the want to make music, and that’s really sad. 

AM: I guess, it becomes more of a job and usually people don’t like their job. 

Do you feel like there’s a conceptual continuity with your solo music? 

AM: Maybe. It’s all pretty disparate. All the different things that I’ve been doing comes from the same pool of like influences, which is always expanding and changing. But it always has the same foundations. Like we were talking bout, the solo stuff, it’s really unplanned. I don’t really know the purpose of the song, even sometimes after it’s already been released. There’s that kind of continuity. I can always tell what I’ve been into on the day of making a song. It’s usually all made at home by me in a state that I can’t really remember that well. Then I have a song at the end. 

Most things usually start on the couch. I’ll sit on the couch with a guitar, and then I’ll go into the music room. It’s not really a studio, just a small room. I’ll come out of that, and it’ll sound really different from what I was anticipating. The continuity is unexpected experimentation and unclear aims. But that doesn’t really make for much audible continuity, aside from the fact that I try to have fun with language and try to put some note groupings together that don’t sound quite right to me at the time. The general rule is if I think it sounds like a song I’ve heard, then I won’t release it. I try to combine a lot of elements that maybe shouldn’t be combined, just so I can trick myself into thinking it’s worth releasing in some small portion.

What kind of things were you into while you were writing this collection of songs? 

AM: Looking over at my box of recently played records—I’m trying to think of any things that directly influenced it. I was liking this guy called Daniel Schell a lot, who played in a band called Cos and some other bands. I was listening to traditional folk stuff, but that’s been kind of a constant because my dad was into a lot of that. I was also listening to Véronique Chalot, and I started getting classical guitar lessons at one point, but quit them really quickly.

I was listening to a lot of Brazilian guitar music, so I was playing a lot more—very poorly—on a nylon string guitar. But then I was also listening to a lot of electronic music and metal, too. All of that swells in. 

As for direct influences, I’m not entirely sure on this group of songs. The second-to-last song was a progression from—I ripped up a lot of chords from a Donald Fagen solo song. Sometimes, when I get really stuck on a track, I’ll try to learn a song by someone who’s completely out of my realm of abilities. They’ll go back and forth between chords so much, whether it’s Donald Fagan or Egberto Gismonti or, Grant Green—someone who’s so unattainably talented. I’ll learn a few seconds of one of their songs and, within the first half-minute, there’ll be enough chord changes to sustain me for two songs.

I end up doing a similar thing with lyrics. I’ll have a bunch of things around me; I’m always taking a lot of notes. So I’ll have notes and then a reference book of poetry or the local paper, the Banyule Banner, or something like that. Whenever I have a gap in my notes, I’ll flip to one of those pages and get something out of it. It all blends together.

That was a long and confusing answer, but that’s the long, confusing process when I’m making tracks.

Photo by Ella Cattach

No, that’s not confusing. I followed.

AM: Okay, that’s good. I got confused by the answer [laughs]. The pulling together of really disparate things—musically, it can start with one or two notes, and then I play around with those until they’re harmonised. There was one track on this album called ‘Golden Braid’. I was enjoying a movie by an Australian filmmaker, Paul Cox. He made some nice, and some less nice, movies in the 80s and 90s.

There was a section in one of his movies without music that I took and stripped out the video. I soundtracked along with the audio. The scene involves a guy who works on old clocks, and he’s moving through his house, flicking the clocks and walking up and down the stairs. I added sounds to react to his footsteps and to the notes made by the clocks.

I often use methods like this when I don’t feel inspired to make music. I’ll watch a movie or read a book with the intention of borrowing from it. Even if I don’t have any specific ideas, I might take note of a particular scene—from, say, 33 to 38 minutes in a film—and come back to it later. Then I pick it apart or bookmark a page in a book, and those elements might end up combined into a song.

It’s not always about having original ideas but about reprocessing what you take in. What you ingest, media-wise, is important if you want to create. It’s similar to a diet—if you have a bad one, you won’t make anything good out of yourself. If you don’t read, watch, and listen to good things, you won’t be able to turn that into anything worthwhile either.

I remember talking to the band Adult from Detroit once, and they told me that when they made a particular album, they like set up an area in their basement and painted everything black so it was this big black space with nothing else there to stimulate them. They wanted to see what they could make with no distractions, which I found interesting.

AM: That sounds terrifying!

I’m always fascinated by the different things people will do to experiment with music, sound, and art. I enjoy when things are pushed further into some other place to what I’ve seen/heard/experienced before. I loved to be awed by things.

Something I’ve always loved about your work is the songs is the titles. They’re all very prog rock kinds of titles. 

AM: It’s what I was raised on. I spent a lot of time as a kid reading and listening to music. My dad was really enthusiastic about getting me into the music he liked—maybe “forceful” isn’t the right word, but he was definitely very passionate. So, I’d spend hours reading King Crimson liner notes, Jethro Tull inserts, and Genesis albums. It was all very fantastical.

My folks were hippies in a good way. They’d say things like, ‘If you don’t want to go to school, you can stay home and read this Ursula Le Guin book instead,’ and I’d think, ‘Great, I’ll just do that.’ They were ahead of their time when it came to the idea of a “mental health day.” I heard them use that phrase long before it became more mainstream. It was useful, and I think you can certainly get a child more enthusiastic about learning if they’re not forced into the rigid structure of the education system. People tend to forget that.

Words have always been really important to me. I’ve always found them funny, especially when they’re misused or when people take poetic license to invent words. Whether it’s Donovan, Flann O’Brien, or Monty Python, there’s a playful way to use language that keeps it entertaining for me.

I noticed that you tagged your new release on Bandcamp as “silly”. 

AM: Oh, yeah. That was a suggested tag. I probably would have said something a lot more mean about it if if it didn’t suggest that. I was glad they gave me something as silly as the word silly. 

Are there any books you’ve read over the years that had a big impact on you? 

AM: A lot. It’s a relatively typical answer, but [Italo] Calvino was important when I first read him, as was Flann O’Brien, who I mentioned before. I’ve read a lot of sci-fi, like Stanislaw Lem, and authors who wrote short stories. There’s also Leonora Carrington, who created these fantastical micro-worlds.

For me, there wasn’t much distinction between a song and a book. I didn’t get into movies until much later because, when I was younger, I couldn’t grasp how many people it took to make a movie. I’d get to the credits and think, ‘It takes so many people to make that—that’s ridiculous.’ If I saw an actor in another movie, it was confusing. I’d think, ‘Wait, he’s not that person?’

In contrast, if someone wrote and recorded their own music, it felt like there were so few steps between the creator and the listener. The same goes for a book—the separation between the writer and the reader seemed much smaller. There were fewer hands the work needed to pass through, at least as far as I understood those industries.

I feel like I have a very high threshold for whimsy. Growing up, I listened to a lot of folk rock. Whether it was Fairport Convention, Shirley Collins, Pentangle, or similar bands, there was always a mix. You’d have a few serious ballads that everyone gravitates towards, but then there’d be a really ridiculous track—something with everyone dancing around the maypole and full of whimsy.

Now, it seems like most modern folk, or even the dreaded term “neo-folk,” leans heavily into the mournful, dark elements. I suppose that’s more palatable, but it feels like whimsy has really gone out the window.

Photo by Sarah Pilbeam

Maybe that’s what sells better? I’m a big fan of whimsy too.

AM: I feel like consistency has become increasingly important. For people trying to sell records, everything needs to maintain the same vibe from start to finish. There’s a sense that listeners don’t want to disrupt the flow of their experience. This trend has only worsened with playlist culture, where people choose a single vibe and then listen to an endless list that matches it, without really exploring the artist’s broader work.

I’m not a fan of complacent listening. I don’t like algorithms, playlists, or anything that curates music based solely on a single mood. But people are free to enjoy what they like—I suppose I shouldn’t be harsh about it.

Is there a reason why you don’t listen back to your own stuff much? 

AM: There’s a lot of great music out there. I tend to spend any spare money I have on records. I really enjoy talking about them, visiting record stores, and chatting with whoever’s working there. I love learning about what they’re listening to and getting their recommendations. 

When I find a record I like, I research everyone who worked on it—the people in the studio, the musicians—and I try to connect all the dots. I’ve spent so much time doing that, so it’s rare that I listen to my own stuff. When I’m making music, I listen to it a lot because I’m focused on working out the sounds. But after the gruelling process of production, I don’t always want to hear it again. I remember what it sounds like, and when I’m playing shows, I’m performing those songs. Some are okay, some are bad, and I try to focus on making more that are just okay, avoiding any of the bad ones.

What records have you got lately or be recommended? 

AM: I’ve got a pile of records over there. Some of my favourites include a reissue by Enno Velthuys, which I really like. There’s also one of Alvin Curran’s reissues, the new Oren Ambarchi record, and a beautiful album called Small Boats by Steve Atkinson. I also picked up a record by Pari Zangeneh, a blind Persian singer who’s amazing. And there’s the reissue of Dorothy Carter’s Waillee Waillee, which is gorgeous, slow folk music.

I try not to get too deep into the reissue culture, but when something I haven’t heard before pops up and I can grab a copy at a reasonable price, I do. I really appreciate the people working to make these albums available again. Of course, there are mixed views about the environmental impact of vinyl production, but compared to other manufacturing processes, I guess it’s relatively more acceptable. Records have always been important to me, along with books. I know they’re made of paper and plastic, but I forgive myself for that.

Yeah, I’m the same. Our house is filled with records and books, more than anything else. I read this interesting article not too long ago about the environmental impacts of vinyl versus streaming. It said that vinyl is actually less harmful in some respects, and is considered more sustainable when compared to streaming in terms of long-term usage—one record can be played countless times, spreading out the initial environmental cost over time. Whereas streaming carries a high carbon footprint primarily due to the energy required to power data centres and network infrastructure and the components used to make your phone or computer to stream stuff. It was interesting to hear a different take, usually people automatically think vinyl is worse and don’t take into consideration what it actually takes to stream things.

AM: Yeah, I think you also become complacent with waste because you rely on devices like your phone. You need it to work all the time, so when it stops, you throw it out and get a new one. Meanwhile, with my turntable, I’ve repaired it several times. Most people wouldn’t bother repairing their phones; they just get a new one instead.

Additionally, for the new Green Child record we’re working on, we found a pressing plant that uses recycled cooking oil, making the process more environmentally friendly. The records are injection moulded, which avoids traditional pressing methods. We’re doing it as a split with Upset The Rhythm from the UK. I’m always trying to find better ways of doing things. 

That’s great! That’s like with Gimmie, we print on environmentally certified and recycled papers, which are from sustainable sources, and use vegetables based inks, and the printer recycles all waste products. But we definitely live in a society that’s all about convenience. 

AM: Yeah, it’s less important to have all the knowledge in your head because you can just look it up on your phone. That’s good and bad—mainly bad, maybe. I’m undecided about the merits of technology and its impact on creativity, as well as the general retention of knowledge. There are certainly some benefits, but I’d have to think harder about them because my apprehension tends to outweigh my appreciation.

We haven’t done a print issue in a little while, though. We know people can’t really afford stuff right now with the out of control cost of living. I see on Bandcamp, even other musicians I follow, that used to buy other artists records all the time have stopped doing that so much.

AM: Yeah, everyone’s feeling that. The cost of making things in general has risen, along with the cost of postage. It’s really tough—if I want to send a ten-dollar tape to America, it costs about 26 dollars. So, I charge slightly less, but anything I’m sending overseas, I’m losing money on. I like the idea of someone having it far away. There’s something really exciting about that. I guess I had a good deal with postage in the early days, so I feel like I’m still making up for that, and I can pass on the savings, a bit

Yeah. I put out a book this year and in I wrestled internally with having to charge people so much for postage, especially overseas. 

AM: People who appreciate physical media will always find ways to access it. Books, in particular, are often still quite affordable, especially when you consider the value they provide. For example, a single book can offer so much in terms of knowledge or entertainment. When I discovered online book stores, I realised I could get almost any book delivered to my house for about $8. That’s remarkable when you think about it—you’re getting someone’s life’s work brought straight to your doorstep for such a reasonable price.

Of course, newer books can be more expensive. When I’m in a bookstore, though, I don’t mind paying a bit more. It feels like it balances out, considering how inexpensive secondhand books or online deals can be. The same applies to records. You can often find a great album for around $10 at the right places. That’s essentially an encapsulation of someone’s creative vision, available for less than the price of a pint.

And what does a pint really give you? At best, a moment of enjoyment; at worst, a ruined next day—and it might even keep you from reading that book you just bought.

Yeah. I try and buy stuff from the actual artists at shows. 

AM: Yeah, absolutely. Bandcamp is still one of the better options online, but there aren’t many alternatives. I’m always brainstorming creative ways to avoid relying on platforms like that. Sometimes I think, Maybe I could find a different approach.

But anything that delivers directly to someone’s house feels a bit intrusive. There’s a need for some level of anonymity—you wouldn’t want me showing up at your house in the dead of night with a tape. That would be horrifying!

Maybe something like a community drop-off could work. For example, if I had 10 deliveries in Thornbury, I could say, Hey folks, they’re all in the neighbourhood library at the end of the street. Go for it! But then again, you can’t always trust people. They’d probably all get stolen anyway.

Unfortunately, that can be true.

AM: I’ve been thinking about ways to navigate these challenges. There’s definitely a shift happening with physical media. It’s becoming less of a middle ground—dominated either by massive producers or by extremely niche creators. For someone relatively obscure, like myself, using the same facilities as mass producers can be frustrating. If you’re pressing a record at the same place handling huge albums, your project is likely to get pushed to the back of the line.

That’s why I’m considering how to make my process less dependent on those channels. It might mean going back to hand-painting and stamping all the tapes, doing the covers myself, and dubbing the tapes manually. It’s more work, but it seems like the only way to keep costs down. In my mind, a cassette should never cost more than $10. The last batch I made was $11, just because that was close to the production cost. To balance things out, I tried to offset the Bandcamp cut and offer slightly discounted postage. As a posted package, that price seemed fair.

Still, I think I’ll need to get more creative to keep things affordable. People who buy tapes from completely independent artists deserve something extra. Whether it’s throwing in free items or adding a personal touch, it’s important to show appreciation. After all, buying a tape from an unknown artist isn’t a typical thing most people do. It’s not often someone wonders, I wonder what this person has been working on at home all year? Maybe I’ll buy their tape. It’s rare, and when it happens, it means a lot.

Totally. The’s why I hand-gift wrapped each book and included a handwritten note. I notice that all your tapes sell out. 

AM: That’s because I don’t make very many, which is good because I also don’t like going to the post office much [laughs]. So I condense it into three or four trips where I’ll take everything down.

I’m lucky to have friends here and overseas who run record stores and are willing to take the risk of stocking my tapes. That helps a lot. I feel like word of mouth plays a big role in these things. I find out about so much if a record store posts about something. If I like what they like and they post something I don’t know, I’ll check it out right away.

Whenever I take anything I’ve put out to a shop, even a simple picture of it can be a great way for people to find out about it. For like-minded people who enjoy discovering niche things, record stores are still a good place to explore. You can chat with whoever’s working, look at posters, or browse the recent releases rack. It’s like stepping into a different world—a world you wouldn’t encounter unless you visited that specific place.

I see this more often in Melbourne, especially when friends from overseas visit. Part of their trip usually involves visiting lots of record stores. I’ll introduce them to the shop owners, and soon they’re talking about what they’re buying, exchanging recommendations they wouldn’t have found anywhere else.

That kind of localised, face-to-face interaction is becoming rarer, but it still exists, and I appreciate that.

Same! You mentioned earlier that your dad was very insistent on you listening to his kind of music. What was the first kind of music that you listened to that was not his stuff? Did you ever rebel? 

AM: Yeah, a lot. I don’t think he fully gets any of the stuff I make. His music is very from the heart, whereas mine feels more from the head. He reminds me of that all the time. He’ll say things like, What is this? What could this song possibly mean? And I’m like, I don’t really want people to know what it means.

The other day, I recorded some demos for him. His songs are very direct, like, I know exactly what that song is about—that song is about being furious about the referendum result forever. And I agree with him, which was nice. But I like keeping things a little more obscured so that I feel safer, I suppose. He’s a pretty heart-on-the-sleeve kind of guy.

That said, a lot of what he’s into has influenced me, whether I like it or not. He’s always been into folk and prog, which is still a big part of what I listen to. But everything just got more extreme from there. My two older sisters introduced me to metal and industrial music, which definitely broadened my tastes.

My mum, on the other hand, got me into a ton of amazing stuff, especially early electronic music. So, growing up, I didn’t stray too far outside of that realm. Getting into really extreme metal was a bit outside my family’s wheelhouse, though. That happened thanks to one of my sister’s friends, who taped me some truly out-there albums when I was way too young for them. That was mind-blowing.

As for the more heady ends of electronic music, that came from a friend’s dad. He gave me a bunch of stuff that absolutely blew my mind—Kraftwerk, Laibach, and Autechre, for example—when I was still in early high school. That music was confusing in a good way. Even though it was retro by then, it felt completely fresh to me.

I think my family stopped exploring new music at a certain point. They were lucky enough to grow up in times when incredible stuff was happening. My mum, for instance, is American, and she lived in California in the seventies. She saw bands like The Who, Led Zeppelin, and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young playing in her town. If you’ve experienced that, maybe it’s not going to be super impressive when your kid comes along and says, Hey Mum, here’s Primus.

I love Primus. I met Les Claypool when I was 16 and showed him where the local record shop in Brisbane was. Watching him flip through records and picking out things he was interested in was so interesting to me.

AM: That’s incredible. I suppose it was just the more extreme stuff that was slightly outside the family’s usual listening habits. But at the same time, my sisters were really into a certain level of extreme music—maybe not as much the rest of the family, though. Between all of us, we covered a pretty broad range of styles.

It’s like that in my family too. I have four older siblings and my mom and dad, and we all love music. Being the youngest, I absorbed everything.

AM: Yeah, my sisters are both more than ten years older than me, so there was this big gap where it felt like I got an early introduction to everything everyone liked. By that time, they already had their own personalities and tastes—it wasn’t like a bunch of kids growing up together. It was more like a kid surrounded by adults. We didn’t live together much, but we still hung out a lot.

Photo by Mochammad Rezy Diandra Putra

You had a one-man death metal band in high school, right?

AM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made a lot of different kinds of music in high school, and kind of still do. There’s always been a lot of wanting to do everything at once. So, there was a really bad one-man grind band, and then a more electronic grind band. Then, really silly solo stuff that was super slapstick, skit songs, where I would get any friend who was at my house to play a part. We’d record all of that.

I was lucky and unlucky in some ways that the place I spent most of my time, from late primary school to whenever I moved out, was with my dad. It was a one-bedroom apartment, and he wasn’t working at the time. So, I was working several jobs while trying to do school and play in these bands. My room was the living room of the house. There was band gear around all the time, and my sister’s friends would jam there, my bands would jam there, and there were a bunch of other musicians from the area who’d come around and play.

That meant there were constantly parties happening, which wasn’t always great. But it definitely solidified a lot of friendships, and you were allowed to experiment a lot with music—and other stuff. I was lucky in a way, though. The apartment was on top of a clock shop and between two banks, so the walls were really thick on either side. As long as we were done by 10 o’clock, we could make as much noise as we wanted. So, if I got home from school, and thought, I’m going to make a solo grind EP tonight, I could just do that. I could drum and shout really loudly without really disturbing anyone, though I’m sure I was disturbing a lot of people walking past on the street.

I’ve been told in recent years—when I mention the circumstances—that people would walk past and hear crazy music coming out of that house. We’d have parties where people would pull up in cars, get out of the car, and climb onto the roof. They’d crawl up onto the awning of the shop and climb through the front window just to see what band was playing. It was a bit of a mess, but we always had a “whoever wants to join” vibe. It was tough to find the entrance since it was off a little alleyway, but we met a lot of strange friends that way.

A lot of them were really good musicians in the area, and I still play music with some of them now. It solidified a lot of friendships, especially with the older crowd. I was still in the safety of the family home, but it was when everyone else was in their teenage prowling phase; they’d hear rock music and just think, Let’s go into that house.

Did you did you teach yourself to record? 

AM: Yeah, I can’t really remember how that started. I just had a microphone and a cassette deck and slowly built off that. The school I was at had a digital 8-track, so I borrowed that. I didn’t have a computer until quite a lot later when I bought one for myself. Then I started using that along with a tape recorder and things like that. It all built from there.

Also, any of my sister’s or my dad’s friends who had equipment they didn’t need would dump it at the house, knowing it would get used. I’d end up with guitar amps, pieces of a drum kit, recording gear, or a keyboard. There was a constant rotation of people and music gear coming through. It meant I was talking with a lot of different people all the time and using a lot of different gear. People brought in different influences, which made it interesting.

But, as I’ve said about a few things, it wasn’t very good for schooling. I had a lot of friends, though. It was a cool house.

You mentioned having a band with your dad and your solo stuff; what was your first band with your peers? 

AM: That was, oddly enough, probably still the core group of people I’m friends with now and have made a lot of music with. I’ve known my friend Gus since he was born, basically, since our parents were friends. He did The Stroppies, and we were in Tyrannamen, Twerps, and Stevens together. Before that, we were in a few other bands, including one called Teen Archer, which wasn’t very good, and another called Showcard. I was in Showcard from when I was about 13.

That was probably the first proper band I was in. For 13-year-olds, we weren’t the worst band in the world. We played a lot of cool supports, like Spiderbait, Frenzal Rhomb, Bodyjar, and The Datsuns, all while still in high school.

What did Showcard sound like?

AM: This could be the first time I’ve publicly talked about this band. It was very rock. The shows were fast and crazy. We loved The Datsuns, that New Zealand band. All of us moved from one school to another together at one point, and at assembly, they had heard that there was a new band at the school. So they asked us to play. We did a Radio Birdman song and a Stooges song.

We started off as a Metallica cover band. Our first show was at my sister’s birthday, and we played stuff from Metallica’s first three albums. After us, her friends played songs from And Justice for All and The Black Album. They were really good players. The guy in that band gave us our first proper drum kit and taught me how to play drums.

It was a bad stadium glam band, I guess. As a live band, it was okay, but there’s a recording that exists. I think my dad still has about 50 unsold copies of it, gathering dust under his bed next to his own album, which is doing the same thing. But, they’re probably both fun. I don’t think it’s on the internet, so that’s good [laughs].

You mentioned in our correspondence that Hobbies Galore have a couple of releases coming out. Tell us about them.

AM: Most of them are out or announced now. We had the J. McFarlane’s Reality Guest CD, which was sort of my idea—I thought, ‘CDs are going to come back.’ I think I’ve been proven wrong, as they’re not quite there yet. But in my mind, they’re back. I still really love CDs. They’re an important format for me. That’s how I got into most stuff, on CD. The CD is still in the car, and in the house too. 

Then, there’s my new Matt Harkin tape, and The Green Child LP, which is getting out there. I’ve never really done a proper release where there were singles, a lead-up, and video clips. But, Upset The Rhythm in the UK is driving this one. They’re really good, and they’re doing a lot of the hard work, which is nice. I’m along for the ride a little bit, which is cool. I’ll be handling the physical distro in Australia once the copies arrive. In the meantime, he’s planned everything out really well. I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s how you do it.’ That’s how you run a label.

After that, I’ll probably take a break for a while, because I’ll be doing a lot of shows with Faceless Burial at the start of next year. I’m also working on some new stuff with Francis, and that always takes a bit of mental energy because the songs are complicated. I’ll also start doing Green Child shows next year, which takes a lot of learning as well. So I feel like I won’t have much time to focus on making more releases.

I’ve never really put out anything by someone I haven’t met. I get a lot of emails from people, and a lot of it is really good. But if they’re not a friend of mine, I’m like, ‘Oh… you should start your own label.’ That’s usually my first piece of advice. Then I lie and say it’s fun [laughs]. There’s no huge queue of releases waiting to come out, but if anyone I’ve known for a long time wanted to release something tomorrow, I’d be like, ‘Sure.’ It doesn’t need to fit into any kind of schedule.

That’s kind of how poor I am at planning and running a real label. All of my releases for this year are coming out in the same month. But that’s fine—there are no rules. I feel like it saves people on shipping. A lot of people now can order two things at once and avoid paying shipping on two separate orders. I had a bunch of people who ordered the Matt Harkin tape, and I emailed them saying, ‘Hey, I’m releasing something next week. I know you usually buy everything from me, so I’ve just put it in with your order. Don’t order it when it comes out.’ That’s probably the kind of behaviour that will make sure you never break even on releases, but people appreciate it.

There’s a group of regulars who seem to buy everything before even listening to it. I can pretty much guarantee there’s a group of people who will get whatever I release, some of whom live overseas. It’s expensive to ship things overseas, so if you release everything at once, you can bundle them together and save on shipping costs. It’s hard to buy physical media from Australia. So it’s nice that people want to do it at all. 

You mentioned that Faceless Burial is going to record some new stuff. Is there anything you do to prepare for that? 

AM: Lots of practice. I practice before work, most days, leading up to a tour or a recording. At the moment, I’m practicing pretty much every night of the week with Faceless or Green Child, or I was doing practice for the Francis and Pious Faults stuff as well, just in my own time. When I was doing solo shows, I practiced a lot for those because I get really nervous.

For Faceless, it’s really on the edge of all of our abilities. None of us are technical players with any real theory knowledge. We don’t demo a lot of stuff—we still operate kind of like a pop or rock band in that sense, but it’s very much not like one. Pop bands will demo everything and send you exactly what to play. But with the metal band, we write in a room together, which seems counterintuitive because we’re just relying on our memory to remember all of these crazy time signature changes from the week before. The only thing we have to refer to is someone’s phone notes or a quick recording, and we’re always chasing our tails, trying to piece it together.

The first song on this album is 17 minutes long, with very few repeating parts. And if a part does repeat, there are a number of intricate changes that make it impossible to remember. Everything about the progressions is reversed when it happens again, that kind of stuff. It’s really fast the whole time, which is another thing. Max, the drummer, is like the best fast drummer in town, to the point where he really hates playing slow. So if we’re writing a long song, it can’t be a slow one—it has to be fast. He might perish at the end of this recording; it’s really pushing him.

It’s pushing all of us, which is good because I like to be challenged. But I also get really nervous about recording or playing, so it means I have to practice a lot at home.

Photo by Charlie Foster

Why do you get nervous? 

AM: Letting other people down is the main thing, especially if I’m working on someone else’s project. I’m not very good at remembering other people’s songs, and I’m not very good at improvising on other people’s stuff. I can do it on my own songs, but I just don’t feel confident doing it on someone else’s music. So, I have to try my hardest to commit everything to memory.

But there are a lot of conflicting things. For one, I’ve only recently figured out what the notes are on the guitar neck and the keyboard. Before that, it was all based on shapes and remembering those, but the shapes were getting really mixed up because I was storing different band stuff at the same time. So, I tried to get some basic theory knowledge. It’s quite hard when you’ve never worked with it before, but I’m realising that’s probably how people remember multiple things at once, because there’s a connection.

For example, if I’m playing an A in one band’s song, it feels like a completely different note in someone else’s project. In my head, it’s within a totally different context, and the shape it links to in the song is completely different. I guess I don’t have those safe tricks or routes worked out yet. But it’s something I’m working on. In the meantime, it just means I have to practice the individual songs a lot to remember them because I haven’t figured out a better way of remembering all of the stuff yet.

Do you have to be in a different headspace for each of the things that you do? 

AM: To some extent, with Faceless, there’s a huge performative aspect to it. You’re moving around constantly, that kind of thing. But I feel like it’s just really about what the music makes you do. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. In a band like that, you’re sort of permitted to let the music take over, to let it do anything to you.

Whereas, if I’m playing in something like a sit-down folk duo with Francis, even if the music is telling me to jump around, I usually feel out of respect for the project that I should probably stay in my seat. I wouldn’t do a big circle motion or anything like that because it would detract from the person’s vision.

I did get kicked out of one band for behaving incorrectly, but it was pretty subtle. I think I just held my sticks in the wrong way or something, and they said, ‘You’re out.’ But yeah, you have to be in a fairly different headspace for each project. Still, I take a pretty similar approach to all of them.

What’s something that you’ve seen lately that’s felt really refreshing to you?

AM: People like Francis, and Mikey and Raven from Green Child are people I’m regularly impressed by. They’re always sending me stuff that I think is incredible. I was a huge fan of their work even before collaborating with them.

I feel like there’s a degree of effort that goes into metal bands’ shows, setting a bar that isn’t always matched in terms of effort in other genres I see more often. Local metal bands like Vile Apparition, who are my favourite local band of any genre, impress me every time. Every show is impeccable. They’re great writers, great players, and just good people.

There’s a base level of effort in metal shows that I really respect. I find it impressive that there’s no commercial desire, just an unusual compulsion within that world to keep pushing for no reason. Being technically impressive isn’t everything, but I do find that drive inspiring.

Sometimes, though, I can get a little disillusioned with seeing shows all the time. That said, I’m regularly impressed by certain metal bands, or really anything with that live-show energy. You can get totally taken away by it. Bands like local punk and hardcore groups—Syntax and others—always put on a show where you can tell they’re fully there for the duration.

Kissland, a new band I like, has Max from Faceless in it. But I don’t want to just name friends’ bands. I’m trying to think of what else I’ve seen recently that isn’t metal or hardcore. I finally saw Kraftwerk, and that was incredible. They’re a band you know will always put on a good show.

Otherwise, I’m blanking on other recent shows. I should make some notes to refer to, because there are a lot of great things I’ve seen recently that I’m forgetting. I feel like when you’re seeing so much all the time, it’s harder to remember what has really stood out, at least for me. A lot of the people I see are my friends, and the more I know about the individual, the more impressed I am with what they do.

Photo by Füj

I think that all the time. I’ll see people I know and, you know, we’ll just be chatting and then they’ll get up and do their thing. And it will just be like, who are you? This is amazing. I’m always impressed, and always inspired by all the people that I know. We’re lucky to know so many creative people.

AM: Yeah. If you’ve been doing something for a long time, you tend to gravitate towards the people you admire in many ways. It’s strange for me, even with someone like Max from Faceless. I looked up to him when I was growing up, seeing him play in hardcore and grind bands at underage shows. Then, years later, I end up working with him. Or Mikey—before we started playing together, I was really into all of his stuff. It’s funny to think, ‘Oh yeah, you’re that same guy whose t-shirts and releases I used to buy.’ Now, we’re making t-shirts and releases together, which is surreal. But I do feel lucky to be regularly impressed by a lot of my friends’ output and to be able to support that.

In terms of like creativity, what are the things that are important to you? 

AM: As cliché as it may sound, I’m always impressed by people who do a lot themselves in the DIY scene. There’s a split in my head, though, where I really appreciate people who have no technical training or regard for it. People who might just say, ‘I know these three people, let’s make a band together,’ even if one of them has never played guitar—that I love. Sometimes, it’s as exciting for me as seeing one of the best technical death metal bands in the world. For me, there’s no real separation between these things. If someone is following their natural instincts—what they enjoy making and hearing—that’s what matters. You can tell when people are genuinely following their desire to create. It sounds cheesy, but when people are truly passionate, it comes through in the music.

I also enjoy massive pop bands, though, and it all comes down to the sound for me. Whether the audio is technically good or bad doesn’t matter as much. I can strip away everything else and just say, ‘That song is great.’ In the end, it’s about the sound, and beyond that, the intention behind it.

Do you get a lot of enjoyment listening to music or do you find that you do kind of pull it apart? 

AM: It’s really equal, like, I feel I can just tell what’s happening a lot of the time. I don’t really sit there and analyse it; I never think, What is happening in this track, and how can I make something like it? It’s more about hearing everything at once. For me, a lot of it is about connecting the dots—understanding where something fits in the greater landscape of music. Like, how that band came from where they did, when they did, and who else they were involved with.

I definitely don’t technically analyse songs while I’m listening to them, but I can absorb those elements without fully deconstructing everything. I do listen to each instrument individually and how what it’s playing relates to every other instrument. Then, I think about how those parts fit into the album as a whole, how the album fits into that artist’s catalog, how that catalog connects to other artists on the label, how the label connects to other labels at the time, and so on. You can connect all the dots about where things were coming from and who was making them. But then, you still get those complete anomalies—and those are the most intriguing.

Absolutely. That’s when we found Guppy and ended up putting out their record. We started a label just to release it because we loved them so much. My husband Jhonny and I saw them play, and we both had that moment where we looked at each other and said, Are you seeing this? Are you hearing this? Then we ended up becoming friends with them.

AM: It’s hard to find, especially if you’re not actively seeking it out, but occasionally something pops up, and you’re like, That’s pretty wild.

I felt the same way when we finally got to see Pious Faults.

AM: Yeah. They’ve had a really unusual trajectory, where most people know them for that release, which had more of a cooked hardcore vibe. But over time, they’ve evolved into a completely different band. They’re about to release a really strange album, and they had me do a bunch of stuff on it.

We’ve heard it’s been in the works for a while. Is it the stuff you played at the Brisbane Institute of Art show the other night?

AM: Yeah, we pretty much played the most of the album. 

The sound in the room was incredible. 

AM: It was fun, and I got to catch up with a bunch of old Brisbane friends, Blank Realm, and Leighton, who put on the show, and some other folks. I always have a great time in Brisbane. I was seeing someone from there for a while, so I spent a lot of time up there. 

I’ve always felt like there’s a unique microcosm in Brisbane, where what’s internationally recognised as refreshing in Australia is the entire lack of ambition. And I mean that in a really positive way. Ambition within yourself is great, but ambition in terms of fitting into the world or proving something to others can sometimes be detrimental. Brisbane seems like an even more distilled version of that, with so many bands doing their own thing. They’re really happy to just play for their talented, interesting friends without any need to push for broader recognition, continually putting out impressive and bizarre stuff.

I know a bunch of people who went to this big festival in Japan earlier this year, which featured a lot of huge noise artists. Masonna played, and I think his set lasted just a couple of seconds—like, the main act people went there to see was just this burst of light and noise, and then that was it. People were talking about it. I was like, you’re never going to forget that.

Wow.

AM: Yeah. But it’s kind of rude as well, but it made for a great story. That might not have been a story otherwise.

Follow: @hobbies.galore + facebook.com/hobbiesgaloremelbourne/. Check out: hobbiesgalore.bandcamp.com

Wet Kiss: ‘At the end of the day, you’re living for yourself. You’re living for your art.’

Original photo: Jhonny Russell. Handmade collage by B.

Gimmie recently caught Wet Kiss at Season Three, Fortitude Valley’s ‘weird little space for special things to happen,’ on an ordinary Tuesday night—except that a big music industry conference was in town, drawing its crowd to the usual venues. But this wasn’t part of that hustle; it was a DIY gig, tucked away from the conference crowds. No lanyards or VIP attitudes here. Just a small, dimly lit room up a flight of stairs, usually an instrument shop by day. The building, built in 1902, once housed a grocers and an oyster saloon. Now, it is packed with an all-ages crowd of people hungry for something real.

Wet Kiss is kinetic and visceral, wildly powerful, and funny. For Brenna O and her band, music isn’t just an art form; it’s a lifeline. They are sensitive souls making music for those who need it to survive, just like they do.

Brenna dives into depths others often shy away from, exposing hidden corners and bringing them into the light. She’s both a unifier and a disruptor, challenging norms in ways that make her performances crackle with excitement, spontaneity, and truth. She invites her audience to surrender to the moment, and the emotional catharsis that only sharing space and time with non-conforming misfits can evoke. The band feels bigger than the room they occupy tonight.

Gimmie chatted with Brenna a couple of weeks later about the band’s upcoming album, Thus Spoke the Broken Chanteuse. The album channels the eclectic spirit of David Bowie and Iggy Pop’s Berlin era, infused with the theatricality of Judy Garland and the storytelling of Lou Reed. The album showcases Brenna’s artistic and personal evolution, bringing a sophisticated writer’s eye to the fringes she moves in. She shares how moving out of her comfort zone and embracing the unknown in Berlin, helped her discover her true self and solidify her creative identity.

The album features anthems for the dolls like ‘Skirt,’ celebrating performance and vulnerability; ‘Gender,’ which literally touches on waiting at the gender clinic while abroad and the emotional experience, and the challenges and anxieties of navigating the more stringent healthcare requirements for hormone therapy; while ‘Small Clubs’ is about resetting oneself and living freely. ‘Chick From Nowhere’ explores stumbling out of bars at dawn, capturing the bittersweet highs and lows of fleeting connections. ‘The Gay Band’ addresses loss and memory, revealing the emotional toll of friends who have passed away, also delving into the courage required to come out to one’s parents. And track ‘Isn’t Music Wonderful’ celebrates the beauty of music and the deep connections it fosters, while also confronting the struggles of making a living in the industry.

Brenna tells us, ‘You’ve got to live like you’re in a movie.’ Each song captures that cinematic quality of life—vivid scenes filled with laughter and tears. With Thus Spoke the Broken Chanteuse, she invites us to step into her world, encouraging us to embrace the chaos and beauty of our own stories.

You’re up coming record is fire! Dinosaur City sent us through a sneak peek. It’s one of the best things we’ve heard all year.

BRENNA O: Thank you! We’ve worked hard and stayed true to ourselves. Things are good. We just played a show in Sydney at the Oxford Art Factory on Friday. I hope never to play there again. It was a nightmare. 

Why? 

BO: It was too crowded. I can’t even compare it to Brisbane or Melbourne, but it’s like piling people into a venue that doesn’t feel right. Intense security, a terrible green room, and only three drink cards each—we weren’t treated like stars at all [laughs]. It felt like a cattle factory.

Was the show good, though?

BO: The show was really good, and the perks were, it was incredible to have all these bands that I know from down here playing and hanging out—it was lots of fun. I’m really ragging on the venue, but… look, it wasn’t the worst experience. I’ve had worse. I’d rather play at a dingy house show that’s covered in black mould where everyone running the event is sweet to me. That’s the priority. I don’t care if it’s a big space, and it was, but it just didn’t feel great. Still, the show was fab. The next day, my partner, Dan [Ward], who does BODIES, put on a house show with Daily Toll and Spike Fuck, and it was really good.

Nice! We love Daily Toll. I’ll have to check out Spike Fuck. Anything else been happening? How’s life?

BO: My life, my life… I’m living with my partner in this room that’s, covered in absolute garbage moment, out at their brother’s house. We’re looking to move somewhere, but we don’t know how or when, and I need to get another avenue of money so I can figure out how to get myself out of this place. But it is cute and sweet and safe.

I was in Berlin for over two years, and I started coming back and forth when we were asked to do Rising. I was in a real flow in Berlin. I had a whole group of friends, and I was gigging. But after I left, things in Australia started changing, like the music scene, and there were new younger bands starting, and they were really digging us. So I just wanted to come back. It’s so nice to be around that.

You’re asking me how my life is. At the moment, I’m seeing everything through music. I really don’t know how to talk about my life without talking about that. It really is becoming very all-consuming, and because my partner and all my friends are also completely obsessed, we’re all bonding as a group over our ability to make music, share skills, and encourage each other to try and be superstars. I feel very surrounded by love at the moment. And you’re calling me and being very sweet, I really appreciate that you reached out to me.

It’s a pleasure. We’re fans of what you do. We’ve got your other album She’s So Cool

BO: With the first release, it probably felt like it came out of nowhere. It was a bit ambiguous who we were, and every song was made with a different intention. Whereas with the new record, it was all recorded and produced in the same space. All the lyrics, all the chords—everything was laid out on the floor, and we vaguely knew what we were doing. But the first one, we were just experimenting in this old warehouse I used to live in, which gives it this disjointed, fun house kind of vibe. The whole band are all members of the band, Bodies Of Divine Infinite and Eternal Spirit, which I kidnapped [laughs]. I was doing solo things and projects before this—noise and karaoke—and it was so terribly awkward.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

What initially drew you to making music?

BO: I always wanted to. I remember when I was 17, it hit me in a classroom—really, really penetrated my psyche. I didn’t finish high school because I never got very good grades and had terrible attention. One day, this person came into our art class, and he made miniatures—miniature figurines used for stage props and plotting out different scenes. It wasn’t that they filmed these miniatures, but they were a way for directors and cinematographers to figure out how the cast would be sitting and how everything would look dramatically.

It was fascinating, and it gave me a little insight into the ins and outs of a different type of career or reality. I had such a bad time in high school. A teacher—my English teacher—once told me, ‘I think you should walk across the road and file an application at Woolworths and just finish school now, because you’re never going to make it.’

They were wrong! My English teacher told me I will never ever be a writer and first year out of high school, that’s what I started doing and I’ve done it my entire life. So they were both wrong. Never listen to people that don’t get you.

BO: Yeah. They were incredibly wrong and jaded. Look at you—you have a magazine that everybody loves 

It’s really nice that the people who we love and respect and enjoy their music, love and respect and enjoy what we do—that’s all you could ask for. Gimmie has become a community of people that simply love music and art, and that means everything to us.

BO: I saw Amy Taylor gave you a shout out the other day. 

That was so, so kind of her. A lot of people don’t realise how much simply sharing what we do, telling people about us, really helps a little independent publication like us. 

BO: She is such a stunning person. 

Yeah, she totally is. It’s cool that she’s totally herself, writes amazing songs, supports and helps others. One of the loveliest people in music. Amyl and the Sniffers deserve all their success and more, they’ve worked so hard. Their new record rules!

BO: We love them! I love them. I love Amy. She’s always been so supportive of us too. We opened for them at Berghain when I was living in Berlin. The whole band came over and it was very sweet. 

Why did you move to Berlin? 

BO: After lockdown, I’ve always had this habit of going overseas every year. I try to save money and go—I went to New York, then Iceland, and then New Zealand, which is not as crazy, but it was very nice. Then I kept going back to Berlin. And as much as I think the place is awful in a lot of different ways, I just needed to get out of here. I had this death drive. I was dying here and needed to see if I could push myself to struggle in all sorts of ways and do something really creatively fulfilling.

That’s how I wrote the rest of the album. I went there on my own and had to make a whole new set of friends, get a job, and experiment with a new life—dealing with a new language. Now I have friends and all these people over there that I know I can go back to for the rest of my life. But other than that, there was no job, no real reason for me to go there. I had two friends who were already there, which made it a little easier.

But why does anyone go to Berlin? I think it’s just renowned for taking in a lot of global stragglers—people who are seeking an escape and a way out of judgment. Because I never really could hold down a job, and no one there gives a damn what you do. No one asks about your job; it’s almost like a dirty thing to ask.

I worked in a bar there, and I also worked for a fashion seller called the Grotesque Archive. I played shows, and Dan came with me for a year. The band joined me for a bit, and otherwise, I just did things solo. My visa is still active until September next year, so I will go back to see that out and see what happens. I’m excited; I feel like everything’s happening here for me, though.

I get that feeling. That’s so great! We’re so happy for you. It always fascinates me when people go live in a totally different place to what they know. I’ve had opportunities to but never took them up. When I was 18, I was offered a job at MTV in New York—but I didn’t go. 

BO: Why?! 

I’ve always been really close to my mum and she was unwell for a long time with different stuff. I’ve never had a lot of friends and spent a lot of time just with my family growing up. So to me, the idea of moving to New York, seemed like such a scary idea at the time. I didn’t know anyone, I was barely out off high school.

BO: That’s fair enough. You’re still so young at 18. 

There are so many times in my life when I’ve turned down seemingly amazing opportunities. Sometimes you have these dreams, and when you’re close to getting them—or do get them—you find they’re not what you thought they’d be. You realise you don’t want that, and that’s okay.

BO: Mm-hmm. Particularly when you’re doing your creative gift, your gifted talent, and then you find yourself doing it for another institution or someone else. 

Exactly. When what you love becomes tied up with industry and the machine of products and profits, it can get hard. We care about people, not products—that’s what makes Gimmie different.

BO: Yeah, that situation could be so miserable and heartbreaking. I know a lot of people that work in fashion and you have to shut off a bit of your brain. Maybe that’s your instinct that things are not right or you’re not fulfilling your creative purpose because you are so drawn to the glamour of the institution or the company.

I love fashion! But like the music industry, it’s an industry too. People and products are disposable and what matters most is the bottomline—profit. Not creativity and innovation. Obviously, I’m in favour of artists making a living, and people should do that in whatever way works best for them. However, it saddens me to see big corporations making more money—often much more than the artists themselves—from the heart and hard work that the artists put into their craft. Without the artist they don’t have shit.

BO: Yeah, it’s funny being a musician at this point in my life, not because I’ve always been super DIY, but because I now have a manager. I’m so grateful for Jordanne; she’s not industry at all. She tries to be the anti-industry. However, you have to talk to these people. She took us to Austin and South By Southwest—not to play, but to meet people. Some of them were great, but some of them… maybe this is going to get me cancelled but—just a whole bunch of people with no talent [laughs].

Photo: Jhonny Russell

[Laughter]. I get what you’re saying…

BO: Trying to make deals and use the people who are creating things to get the money. I don’t know, maybe it’s a bit cliché, but it’s interesting to see. I feel like there are ways to connect with the people and the right labels that will fulfil every goal and dream you have.

When you first started making music, you were making it on your laptop and more electronically, right? 

BO: Yeah, I learned when I was using GarageBand. I had old microphones from the drugstore and effects pedals that people would hand down to me. I knew this older synth musician called Matthew Brown, and he mentored me, helping me figure out the basics and tried to do shows from my studio in school. To be honest, when I was 17, I had a few bands where I’d sing and play guitar. One of them was called Total Loser Friends, and another one was called Gay, which Daphne [Camf] from No Zu, who’s passed away now. It was when we were like, maybe 18 or 19.

Those were my early band experiences, and it was this—you hear about this all the time—before you know how to play a single chord or how a song’s meant to be structured, the music just comes together so quickly. You’re so proud of everything you do, and you feel so reckless. It’s such a great feeling that you can’t get back. When you’re at a bigger level of scale, for me, you have to figure out how to manifest that thrill in a different way. You keep building it, making it larger, and get more ambitious because you don’t have that naivety anymore. Those bands were so fun to play in.

And I never had stage fright—I never got stage fright until I started doing solo laptop stuff and realised that I had no clue what I was doing. Things always went wrong. I would plug the pedals backwards, or I would use a mixer and it would blow out the sound. Or, no one came. I would have shows at the Post Office Hotel here in Coburg quite regularly to one or two people, and just push through.

It took me a while to figure out what I was writing about. It took me a while to realise, okay, you can’t go on stage unless you’re wearing heels, can’t go on stage unless you’re wearing makeup. You have to present yourself to the audience and also have a lyrical message that can be fully involved in the theatrics and storytelling.

It takes so much bravery, struggle, and learning to get to that point for me, which I guess progressed as I started transitioning. Before that, I was super awkward. I saw someone at the Oxford Art Factory who’s known me for a long time, and they said I used to be a bit more quiet. When you’re on stage, it’s like a kind of persona or extension of yourself anyway.

With the new album that’s going to come out, it feels like what you’re doing is finally fully formed. All the pieces are there, and it works. Its’ really levelled up.

BO: Thank you. Definitely. It paints a complete picture. It almost feels like a concept record or, as you said, fully realised—the lyrics, the instrumental changes, everything. I hope that they paint vivid images in your head.

The last record was, I’d have a poem here and a piece of writing there. When I was in front of the microphone recording the track, I was actually going for my phone and jumping through lyrics. It wasn’t as cohesive. It was more cut and paste—a Burroughs kind of thing, more immediate.

Whereas the new one was, I’m going to write this song, and it’s going to be like a little opus—a complete message. So I can see how it would feel more complete.

What do you see as the biggest concepts or themes running through the record? 

BO: Because I moved when I wrote a lot of it—either just before I moved, or some of them while imagining what it would be like to live overseas—and some were written overseas. It’s grappling with the desire to be a star, to be successful, to transcend what I saw for a few years: stagnation, a lack of growth. I was comparing that to my physical body, as well as my intellectual growth.

What it took to make friends and try to get attention in Berlin was for me to alter myself a little bit. I bleached my hair, took a lot more drugs than I’d ever taken, and pushed myself further. The album reflects the real intense highs and lows of that experience, and my poetic take on how I felt in those moments. For example, there’s a track called ‘Chick from Nowhere’. It’s about coming out of bars when it’s daylight, trying to go home with someone, or feeling the ups and downs. It’s like cocaine—going up, crashing down. There are references to how in Berlin you don’t ring houses by numbers but by names. The chorus is sort of like, ‘Did you go to work? Did you go to sleep? I’m outside. I’ve got your name. I’m inside your place.’ It’s about looking for a certain type of friend. It’s daylight, I feel disgusting, I need to come in for a shower [laughs]. These are lived, messy experiences.

I also tried to take elements of glam rock, music often sung by men about women, and flip it—trying to be the woman they’re singing about. The broken heel running down the street, trying to get home, trying to get some money.

Another track,’Skirt’, is about this experience where I tried to play a gig solo at my friend Dan’s apartment. He’s a musician in Berlin. He suggested I do a solo set, and it was a disaster. I couldn’t play the instrument, I got really drunk before the show, and I had my leg up on the amp while telling jokes. I held the audience the best I could, but afterward, someone said, ‘Everyone was trying to see up your skirt to see what was going on up there.’ I thought, bastards! [laughs].

But then it came to me—trying to make an anthem for the dolls about performing and being vulnerable. It’s about what people are really looking at when they see a trans performer. The album has deep emotional stuff, but I’m also trying to enact a raucous, fun side.

Is there any specific emotions you mostly wrote from for the album? 

BO: There’s a lot of longing in this album. The main theme I get from reflecting on it is that you can’t always get what you want. You may move somewhere, but you’re never going to escape yourself. You will always be followed by that person, by your past, by who you are.

In the song ‘Small Clubs,’ it’s about this experience of resetting myself. I’m now playing to not many people again, and I don’t know many of them. Maybe it hasn’t instantly improved my music career or my status in society, but who cares? I’m just going to do it anyway. I don’t care if people at home are telling me to come back and saying I made a bad decision. A lot of people told me I had made a horrible choice by leaving, which is so wrong.

When I left, I met great people. I wouldn’t have played with Berghain or had all these incredible experiences with Amy, or lived my life freely. At the end of the day, you’re living for yourself. You’re living for your art. So, of course, it’s good to travel. But to get to the main themes, I don’t know if there’s a lot of happiness in it. I wasn’t really feeling happy or sad; I was just trying to think super forward and become a vessel for experience. I’ve had years where I wasn’t doing that. I wasn’t thinking of my life like it was a movie.

My friend Jai, who’s the guitarist for EXEK, we became close friends in the past year. He’s always saying, ‘You’ve got to live like you’re in a movie.’ It sounds full of shit, but I just love that. That’s exactly the attitude I want to have: living for right now. I don’t think there’s any one emotion encapsulated in this album, you just have to dive into it. It’s a chaotic two years of life lived, and it seems like something out of a movie.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Let’s talk about other songs on the album. First, opener ‘The Gay Band.’ It’s a powerful track, starting with piano and your voice. It’s from the heart, and I believe you. 

BO: Oh, that’s such a beautiful thing to hear! Because it’s the most important thing: belief—selling it. That’s why I love Madonna so much as a singer. Not because she has an extreme belt or anything; there are other singers I respect in so many different ways. But she’s the queen for me because she sells a message. Even if she’s singing about something you can’t remotely relate to, it doesn’t matter because her conviction makes you care.

What’s your favourite era of Madonna?

BO: I have a lot! I would probably say that the ‘Live to Tell,’ ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ era, around ’86, is my favourite. I love that whole decade—from ’85 to… oh God, I love her too much to even just pinpoint an era. But I like that. I like when she is basically herself—along with Michael Jackson, George Michael, and Prince—all those monolithic figures from that ‘80s. That’s all the stuff I grew up on. I just miss living through it, but I know it so well. That was a powerful era of Madonna, and that film she put out, is probably my favourite too. But then Ray of Light, of course. 

That’s my favourite! 

BO: It’s a comeback album of the century. It’s incredible. 

So we were talking about conviction in delivery…

BO: Conviction! Oh my God, thank you. Because you can’t hear it when you listen to your own music; you don’t hear as much. You don’t hear conviction. I’m not listening to it and thinking, ‘What a genius!’ It is hard; it is hard to listen.

Was it hard to give that performance when you recorded the vocals for it? 

BO: I did. When you’re doing a take, you’re like, ‘I have to make this work.’ You have the choice to be, ‘I could imagine if I delivered it really dry and distant,’ which can be one way an artist might do it. But to me, that’s not why I like music: to feel distant or sing like my voice is simply just an instrument padding something. I really felt it.

The themes of the songs, particularly that one, are about memories and people who have passed. I’ve had many friends pass away in the past eight years—more than I feel like I should have. And you lose something every time someone dies, but that’s not fair. I don’t want to lose anything, and I don’t want to lose people. I don’t want to lose myself. If someone dies, it’s a gift for you to keep living.

The other central themes of that song are also about confessing things to your parents and coming out.

One of the lines that really got me is when you sing about telling your parents, and they didn’t understand, and you cried. I wanted to cry when I heard that. I wanted to give you the biggest hug ever.

BO: Thank you. 

It moved me because it was real. 

BO: It’s really sweet of you to say. I’ve got tears in my eyes. It was about, I’m coming out and telling you, okay, it didn’t work out. And, there’s someone who I had a crush on and they’ve changed as a person and I have a friend who’s passed away, and—can I move on? 

All heavy things. I love that you combined all that into one song. 

BO: They all seemed related, in a sense. 

Letting go of things. 

BO: Yeah, totally. 

Letting go of things and becoming who you are—who you’re meant to be.

BO: Definitely. When you’re writing, you have all these subconscious things; everyone has intrusive thoughts that flow through their brain. So when I’m writing, I just write down all these thoughts, mapping them out as they convey a message. I never questioned that all those messages meant something, but when you put them together, it definitely forms a complete feeling about self-acceptance and letting go.

I knew it was really deep. 

BO: I didn’t even know it was that deep! [laughs]. Thank you. 

What can you tell me about song ‘Metal Silhouette’? 

BO: That song is punk rock and very fast. One of my favourites is Only Theatre of Pain by Christian Death. Al and I love that band. That was the one song for which I wrote the lyrics the morning of; I tried to picture different scenes and memories of intimate moments I had with my lovers or people I really had feelings for. I aimed to grab little moments and scenes, making a lot of poetic innuendos and metaphors. It had to paint quick images in your head about what you were hearing, as it was going to be a really fast song. Around that time, I was also listening to a lot of Placebo, so I was thinking about what could be the coolest thing to say in a poetic way.

Where does your love of words come from?

BO: I’m a real acolyte of Lou Reed. That’s why I feel I see lots of references, like streets and walking. A lot of his lyrics are just him walking through a rough part of New York, and all the poetry is already there for him. It’s already written; you just write about what you see.

In terms of writing, I’m also dating a poet, so we have very different approaches to how we write about things. We’re always trying to challenge each other. I guess I’m trying to write poetically, in a way, to upstage him and excite him with what I’m creating. I like the Beat poets, especially Ginsberg, and I really enjoy Patti Smith’s first album.

In a way, telling the most straightforward story may not be the right message for me. I prefer tongue-twisting wordplays that may require a second take. Rozz Williams from Christian Death, uses a lot of metaphors too.

When I’m writing, I often shuffle my sentences around in my notes. I know there’s a different phrase I can use or a totally disconnected word that can create something rhythmically exciting. That’s what I’m going for in many ways—an unexpected twist in the use of a noun or something.

However, I didn’t have any creative writing mentors who informed me. I only really started reading as an adult; as a kid, I was never encouraged to read.

Did you grow up in Melbourne? 

BO: Yeah, I was on the west side and then moved around to the east with my mum. My parents split up quite young when I was young.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Did your household encourage creativity? 

BO: No, no, not at all. They never did anything creative or musical. They’re not bland people at all. My mum is great; she’s queer. Basically, I was raised vegetarian, and I’m still vegan, and she’s vegan too. My dad is in the country with his new wife, and they’re conspiracy theorists—kind of like libertarians who live off their own land. So, they do have their quirks, and they like music a lot. My mum likes glam rock, KISS, and Bowie, and she probably inserted a lot of these references.

Where your love of these things come from?

BO: Yes, it’s almost embarrassing to say. Isn’t it cliché, being brainwashed as a child, and then it transfers into your adult life [laughs].

It could have been worse; at least they’re very cool references.What was the kind of music you found yourself that was your thing? 

BO: The Velvet Underground and the more gritty aspects of that punk glam thing. My mum was a product of the 90s; she liked Alanis Morissette and all that kind of stuff. My parents were 17 when they had me, so by the time I was growing up, they were very set in that world. But I found myself in the 2000s, listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The music I started discovering, like Ariel Pink and all that stuff, was all through blogs. Those are the things that your parents can’t introduce you to. As a kid, I liked the Spice Girls.

I’ve got a Spice Girls record. 

BO: Cool! I still do love them. I went to the CD store, and they had these multi-set collections. I didn’t know the bands; I was about 15 or 16. I picked up The Mamas & the Papas, The Cramps, and the B-52’s. I racked up all these CDs just because they were on bargain.

Those were the things that rotated throughout my teens, they were self-discovered. It was a crazy lesson to go from sunshine pop to L.A. punk and then to weirdo art student music. Those are huge influences that informed everything for me, and I saw them as very much the same things. I discovered them at the same time, and it made sense to me that sunshine pop in the 60s in L.A. would have informed The Cramps.

I like The Mamas & the Papas a lot because they convey such a breadth of feeling in one song, balancing happiness with the saddest chords. The melodies they sing, their voices, and the harmonising—even when they’re flat—are so beautiful.

I really love the melodies on your album. Gimmie have been thrashing it since we got it, and they get stuck in our heads. Like, you know how you’ll be humming something to yourself and then realise, ‘Oh wait, that’s Wet Kiss!’

BO: Oh my god! Yes!

You’re really masterful at writing poetic verses and then catchy choruses. Those hooks!

BO: A chorus should be catchy. That’s just how I think. It has to be absolutely catchy. Then you have all this space to experiment with the verses, but you don’t want them to be dull either. 

The chorus of ‘Skirt’ gets stuck in my head all the time. 

BO: I’m thrilled to hear this. 

There’s a real attitude to it.

BO: It’s, well, you’re looking up my skirt, but like, so what? Fuck you. 

I love that. It’s a tough sounding song. ‘Isn’t Music Wonderful’ got me in the feels too? What a title? 

BO: That title says it all. It’s just about how great and how beautiful music is, and how to live your life fully involved in its production, waiting for it to blossom and be loved by other people, hoping it will be. It’s about connection. When you’re writing, you’re making connections with others.

It’s also about struggling to keep making music. Like what it says in the verses: ‘Every success, another $2 address.’ Because as much as you keep playing great shows, you don’t get paid very well. The things that we all wear on stage are generally from the op shop. We keep trying to glam it up as much as possible. But it doesn’t really matter, because playing a show with the people that you love and care about—your closest friends—is a really great feeling.

Also, though, how good is it finding a $2 dress at the Op Shop?!

BO: Yeah! But maybe it’s more like a $24 dress these days, I should say [laughs].Finding a nice dress is like the best feeling in the world. 

The next song ‘Gender’ seems like a significant song?

BO: Yes. That song is about waiting at a gender clinic. I wrote it when I was at the doctor in Berlin, trying to get a script for hormones because, in Germany, they don’t have informed consent like we do here. Basically, when I wanted to get on hormones here, I just went to the doctor, and they didn’t throw them at me carelessly, but they were like, ‘OK,’ after maybe two or three meetings. They wanted to know that I’d researched and understood the risks and was ready to do it for myself. But in Germany, you have to have six or eight psychiatric appointments. I was really worried. 

Understandably. 

BO: So I was in the waiting room, and in a situation and stressed. But at the same time, I’m like, ‘How can I turn this into a rock song? How can I make this experience reflexive, but kind of dynamite?’ I was trying to write really literally. That night, Dan was still with me in Berlin, and I made the three chords, and then we were jamming and having some wine. It came together. That’s why some of the songs are so absurdly sexual. It’s about the male unwanted attention that comes from becoming more and more beautiful. 

In the lyrics you talk about adding another page to your diary. Do you journal a lot? 

BO: I have a diary. I have multiple books at this point. Yeah. When I write a diary, I always say that I like to leave it on the table because it’d be such a shame for someone to open it and read my dark secrets [laughs]. I like to write it like it’s a novel. It helps me cement that feeling, which is the creative process of writing and living fulfilling your life. That motivates me.

But lately, the entries have been so matter-of-fact. Maybe because I’ve been busy—I played this show; it was good. This person played with me, I like this band, and I didn’t like this person. That has been the last few weeks of my diary entries. I don’t know why my mind is trying to get out the facts at the moment. But generally, I write long-form.

I also write film reviews. My partner has a publication called No More Poetry. And No More Poetry have a magazine called No, No, No mag. And I contribute long-form essays basically every issue where I review a film, but it’s more a diary about my life. 

I’ll have to get a copy, I’d love to read that. So, in your song ‘Chick From Nowhere’ I noticed that the tentative title of the album was a lyric from that song. 

BO: Yeah. Thus Spoke the Broken Chanteuse.

Photo: Jhonny Russell

Where did that line come from? 

BO: The ‘Broken Chanteuse’ line comes from this writer called Max, from a magazine called The Stew. He reviewed our first album and said that I had yellow teeth and called me a Broken Chanteuse. I thought he was such a little cunt for saying that. But I really love Max. Basically, I was like, wow, that’s what you think of me. But then I was like, no, this is the lore. He was building this lore and image of me based on what he thought about the music. So I was like, well, I’ll feed that back into the music: ‘So she’s got yellow teeth. She likes what she sees. That’s what it said in an underground magazine.’ I thought it sounded cool. 

There’s a Nietzsche book, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, that quotes that ‘God is dead.’ That’s the book Bowie was reading during his most schizophrenic period, when he was creating his Berlin albums.

I didn’t know that. I love trivia. What can you tell us about ‘Pink Shadow’? 

BO: That song was written before I went on this trip to Berlin, but it’s about the last time I was in Berlin. I was in Berlin for three months. It reflects on 2018, when I was having my ass kicked by being in such a difficult situation—struggling to get to know people and dealing with my own difficulties.

That was the first trip where I took my first estrogen tablet in Paris. I was such an egg, so undeveloped at that point in my life, while making music. I played one show in this girl-only art complex that was housed in a big pink shed. That’s why the opening line is ‘In a pink shadow in a lesbian’s bungalow.’

I was staying at this commune, KuLe, which has been around since the ’90s, where artists can live. I actually played there again when I moved back in 2022. The song is also about the experience of living with those people. I was there around the time they hosted the African Biennale, and it was really fun. I had a great time.

But it’s funny because, when the African Biennale was on, the way the European residents handled the presence of Black people was strange. There was this trepidation, like a fear of doing the wrong thing. I mean, this happens everywhere, in every country, but it felt particularly odd there. There was this weird defiance, and KuLe sits right across from a big German art institution, yet the African Biennale was just so much cooler.

It’s mentioned in the song, and other elements of the song reflect teething, growing, and figuring out how messed up Europeans can be. It’s about figuring out my life too, knowing I was going to go back, and reflecting on the memories.

That’s really interesting. ’Bunk Buggy’ is another song that always gets stuck in my head. 

BO: ‘Bunk Buggy’ is the only song not about travelling. It’s about my dad. Like I said, he lives out in the country. As I mentioned, me and my mom are vegan, but he works for abattoirs—he kills animals. I don’t think he exactly likes it, but he doesn’t have much choice. He’s a very funny guy. He likes talking about conspiracies. He really likes Trump and Alex Jones [laughs]. But then he’ll oddly know who Blaire White is, a trans YouTuber who I don’t like it all. And, Catboys and all these esoteric memes. He’s a gamer. He’s a very strange guy. But then he just says these funny things. He was messaging me: I’m going to work today. And I’m riding the bunk buggy. I replied, What is the bunk buggy? He said a tractor that plows all the fields for the wheat, so you can feed the pigs that are in the pen to sustain them before you slaughter them. At the time he was getting severely underpaid and wanted me to help him. I tried. But his workplace, has all these signs about, if you complain or join a union, you’re like a communist. Crazy shit. 

Wow!

BO: He has no choice out there. I guess the song is an exercise in making a different type of song. I had the funny word, wrote down all these lyrics, and then we were jamming. Before this record was even conceived, this has been a song we’ve had for a long time. I just inserted ‘bunk buggy’ as a chorus.

I was also inspired to write it after hearing this Cocteau Twins song called ‘The Spangle Maker’. It’s about a man who works in a spangle factory—those little metal spangles. It’s such a beautiful song, though I don’t think ‘Bunk Buggy’ is a beautiful song. It’s a raucous rock song.

I thought there was something about my dad’s profession and the despair of that which I could form into a song. When it comes together, I think it’s funny because, to me, ‘Bunk Buggy’ sounds like I’m trying to create a new dance. It’s not a known word, but it’s a funny phrase to say. I was trying to make it end the album with this refreshing, strange, off-kilter vibe that reflects the reality the whole record is composed of.

Is there anything that you find challenging about writing songs? 

BO: The writing itself—you get the ideas down with pen and paper or in iPhone notes, and you’re looking at them, and you’re like, this conveys a feeling, but it just comes across wrong. You’re like, I couldn’t, that’s not me. That’s not my voice.

So it comes back to what I was saying earlier: wordplay and getting the message across. I find that challenging. Recording is also a big challenge. I probably did the vocals in three takes. There’s a lot going through my head—a lot of pressure in those high-stakes moments, and that’s where a lot of swearing happens. There’s fighting, and a lot of vulnerability.

Our band has a rule: anything that happens in the studio doesn’t count. You don’t count that in the friendship. So if someone calls me a fucking cunt, or vice versa, we leave that in the room. Then we all hang out, and it’s fine. It’s part of the creative process. [laughs]. We need to be violent, focused, and emotional. Recording is a hard part of the writing process because when you record, you sing it, and you’re like, ‘I can’t say this!’ Then suddenly, you’re doing a little edit, adding an extra bit. Or, in the studio, people are like, ‘You should use this word,’ and sometimes I’d be like, ‘No,’ but other times I’d say, ‘You know what?Yes.

So the writing is still happening during that process. It’s only right when you’re singing it to yourself before it’s even becomes a song. I have songs ready to record right now that I hum the melody to, and I think they’re so catchy, but I’ve never actually recorded them outside my head.

For example,I wrote one recently that’s about how big shoes—heels that fit a bigger foot, like a transperson’s foot—are often ugly. I had the melody [sings] do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. It sounds so corny when I say it, but I wrote it on guitar, and it sounded a little better. I sang the lyrics to my partner, and they were like, ‘That was so bad.’ That cut me. But now that I have a test audience, I’ll keep working on it over the next six months.

Another difficult part of writing is dealing with rejection—when you present something and people are like, ‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,’ or ‘I don’t like this topic. You could do better than this topic.’ But sometimes you’re like, ‘But I want to write a song that some weird person would react to, even if it was just one person.’

Photo: Jhonny Russell

I like that. What was one of the most sort of emotional moments for you when you were recording? 

One song I’m not happy with the the performance, and I went back into a studio of my friends to rerecord it, and I think I might attach it, send it to my mixer, is the song ‘Babe’. I had such a difficult time singing it, because that one song needed more, it’s like, my personality was not enough, and it needed me to sing really clearly on pitch. The chords, everything was pulling you into like this pitch, and it’s this rocky, slow, melodic, tight of jam. I had to do that a thousand times! When we got it back, I had to auto tune and pitch correct so many parts of my vocal delivery, because it sounded bad if it was a little flat or a little sharp or a little yell-y. 

That was so emotional because it was devastating to realise, this song isn’t working, but we had recorded it. What do we do? So I went back into another studio and recorded another version, trying to throw the original out the window. If it doesn’t work, I don’t know what to do with that song, because it just feels like it isn’t connecting.

In the studio, doing try after try, with people saying, ‘You can’t sing it,’ that was quite emotional because I want to be a good singer.

Did you ever think you’d be a singer? 

BO: Yes. 

When did you first know that was what you wanted to do?

BO: When I bought those CDs that I spoke of earlier, like the The Mamas & the Papas, and I would sing along to them. I would tell everyone, ‘I want to be a singer.’ And everyone knows that I can’t sing one key [laughs]. My whole family is always like, ‘You’re okay.’ I would belt out songs in the living room. I would learn lyrics; I’m very good at remembering long streams of lyrics. So I always knew I would be one.

I’ve tried and tried for years, and I always told people I was tone deaf. Then in Berlin, I got a singing teacher who was an opera singer. 

Awesome!

BO: She taught me a lot about breathing from my diaphragm, singing in key, and gave me a lot of tips for staying in key, like remembering the notes as numbers and mixing those numbers up. That way, you learn the position of the notes.

I developed a lot more just from those lessons and her encouragement. She had a great understanding that you can copy Patti Smith, you can do the New York Dolls, or you can sing like Bessie Smith and try to be more belt-y. But those people, when they get older, lose their voice because your voice is an instrument. It’s like a boxer, someone who’s constantly putting their body in the fray of damage.

So, it’s a choice. If you want to just be a punk singer and scream, scream, scream your whole life, your career might only last 20 years. But she was trying to encourage me to learn more technique to sustain longevity.

Once I got that skill, I became more critical of how I deliver. But I don’t get vocal fatigue after shows anymore. Still, I can’t always sing on pitch all the time.

It sounds pretty good from where I’m standing. 

BO: Oh, thank you. I can hit it better than ever. By the third album, it’s going to be even better and better and better. I have no doubt. But that ‘Babe’ song, it’s a challenge. It’s a cover by a very little known artist from the 70s. 

When I heard the original, it’s this folk song, and he has a kind of similar voice to me—he sings a little high and nasally. He’s an outsider, freak-folk person, and I love a lot of independent releases from the 60s and 70s. I loved it! I was like, oh my God, the chorus! I would love to sing this.

It’s hard to say why someone like Bette Midler or Helen Merrill or any jazz singer would choose a specific song to cover. You hear it, and you’re like, I feel like I could do something interesting with this. I did add one verse myself. It’s simple, heartfelt, sweet, and also a little cool. I was drawn to it. Our version doesn’t sound much like the original, except for the chords.

But my band doesn’t like playing it live, so we don’t do it. They don’t really like the song. No one really likes the song! [laughs]. So, grappling with that is still an ongoing issue.

Everyone in your band seems so strongly individualistic, which is really refreshing to see, especially live.

BO: Everyone’s very independent. We’re all encouraging each other to do our own thing, but we are just that, there’s no fake put on. We’re in a flow state at this point because we know what we’re doing and it’s just—FUN!

I feel like you’re really hitting your stride. I’m excited for you to put this album out into the world. I sense that bigger things are on the horizon.

BO: I feel like something is coming, and I can just feel it in the air myself, too. Usually, when I say things like that, I pinch my arm until it bruises because that’s my spiritual side trying to tell me not to be audacious or gloat, or I’ll ruin it. It’s a superstition I have. And, I don’t feel like pinching myself at the moment. I feel like flowing with an accepting love. I know something great is going to happen! I’m ready.

Follow: @br3nna_o and @dinosaurcityrecords.

Negative Gears: ‘Making music has always been a part of personal growth.’

Original photo: Jhonny Russell. Handmade mixed-media collage by B.

Negative Gears’ Moraliser stands out as one of the most exciting punk albums to emerge from Australia in 2024, brimming with turbo-charged aggression and a time-bomb of tension. The Sydney-based band has crafted a record that not only captures the raw energy and intensity of punk but also layers in thoughtful, pointed commentary on the issues plaguing their city. From selfishness and materialism to a shallow obsession with wealth and status, Moraliser takes direct aim at Sydney’s desire to emulate America—critiquing how this trend often brings out the worst in people. Yet, amid the biting criticism, the album also celebrates the resilience and unity of Sydney’s underground communities, presenting a complex, vulnerable reflection on modern society.

What sets Moraliser apart is Negative Gears’ ability to summon intense emotions while dripping with excitement and urgency. The album resonates as a commentary on the cultural zeitgeist, capturing the frustration and hope that define the band. Drawing from years of personal growth, Negative Gears has found the motivation to push through, finishing an album that speaks not just to their local scene but to broader cultural discontent. Creating with no rules, their music embraces personal exploration and community over chasing status—Sydney has truly shaped this record, both in sound and spirit. 

I understand you work at Sydney Theatre Company, right? 

JULIAN: Yeah, I do. Four of us do—me, Charlie, Jaccamo, and Chris. Four out of five of us are there [laughs].

It seems like it’d be an interesting place to work? 

J: It is interesting. It gets the bills paid and most of the people there are pretty cool. The production end is all carpenters, props makers and painters Everyone is creative to some degree. 

It’s such a millennial stereotype to say “creative”. But the irony is that, at our end of the building, we get to make the stuff, take it to the theatre, set it up, and put a set together, or paint it. You get no credit for it. It’s pretty much exactly like the DIY scene, in the sense that you just do it with your peers. Your peers respect you if you’re good, but no one else gives a shit [laughs]. The people who are called the “creatives” are the designers who come in and give you their design, and then they talk about stuff like, ‘No, no, paint that black—blacker’ or whatever [laughs]. It’’s fun. Chris does a lot of painting and Jaccamo, he’s with us in logistics; we run a lot of trucks and help put up the sets. 

It sounds a lot like my job as a book editor, you do a lot of work behind the scenes and no one actually knows how much—in a lot of cases, a lot—you’ve contributed to a creatives finished work. And, as you said, you don’t get credit for it, which for me is fine. I’ve always preferred working behind the scenes.

J: A lot of people who are into the underground or slightly outside of art shy away from making that their job. So it’s nice when you can use the skills you’ve learned in your art or your passion and then, effectively, make your deal with society. I remember my mum would always say, ‘You take the skills you’ve got, and as long as the hours and the pay are all right, you make your deal.’ You might not be getting everything out of life; your job might not be what you live for. But if you love the stuff you’re doing outside of work, at least you can be happy with the deal you made.

Totally. I’ve always had jobs to pay the bills and then all the other stuff I do, like Gimmie, we just do it for fun. We do it because we love sharing music and stories with people. There’s quite a few writers out there that like to be unnecessarily critical of things and in fact make try to make a career and persona from that, they think they’re edgy and cool. I’d rather write about what I love than what I don’t, and share that.

J: That’s the difference between things that have impact and those that don’t, in a lot of ways. Like, all that Vice stuff, and all that muso journalism that was BuzzFeed-y, clickbait-y—it’s pretty much all dead. I remember around 15 years ago, that was the main way you’d hear about so many things. Now all that stuff is gone. The only things that remain are done by people who love to do it. 

What got you on the musical path? 

J: The first underground band I ever saw was Kitchen’s Floor in Canberra. I’m from Canberra—me, Charlie, and Chris all are—we went to school together. Chris and I saw Kitchen’s Floor when we were about 15. They played at the Phoenix with our friends. Kitchen’s Floor was kind of like the moment of, ‘Oh shit!’

Everything else we’d seen up until that point was stuff like The Drones, or various bands playing around pubs. But Kitchen’s Floor had this vibe—we were into The Stooges and Joy Division—so it was the first thing that had a bit of that kind of ethos. It was one of the first things that really clicked for us.

Bands going around Canberra too—Assassins 88, Teddy Trouble, The Fighting League—seeing them was sick. Melbourne bands came too, like Pets with Pets. You look at that stuff and you go, ‘Oh, I could do that.’ We already knew we could play; we’d been in little scrappy punk bands. So we formed a band at Tim from Assassins 88’s house. We were around at his place, and he was like, ‘You guys should have a jam.’ We had one, and he was like, ‘All right, you guys have a gig next Wednesday.’ And we were like, ‘Oh shit!’

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

Was that Sinkhead? 

J: No, no, no, that was when we were like kids. We’re all 32 now. That was when we were 16. Sinkhead was when we moved to Melbourne.

I moved when I was about 18. Did the whole classic ‘go away to Europe for a year, find yourself’ thing, and then came back to Canberra. But Canberra wasn’t very exciting anymore, so I went to Melbourne and moved into a house with Jonny Telafone, a really good solo musician who does a lot of John Maus-style stuff, but without the influence of John Maus. Charlie and I got together, we were 19 then, and she and Chris and I all lived together. And then we met Jaccamo that same year. 

Skinkhead was Charlie, Jaccamo and I initially. Chris was playing in another band, but it wasn’t really doing much at the time. And he ended up moving back to Canberra for a bit. But we basically did Sinkhead pretty much only in Melbourne initially, for four years. We only ended up playing three shows in Melbourne ever, maybe five max. Then we decided to move to Sydney after the Melbourne scene had died down. 

When we first moved to Melbourne, there were bands like UV Race, Total Control, and so many other good bands playing, like Lower Plenty. By the time we left in 2016, it felt like there wasn’t much to see anymore. The Tote was getting really monoculture. I remember lots of venues were just 98% dudes in leather jackets with full black outfits [laughs].

Then we started seeing all this stuff popping up from Sydney, like the Sex Tourists with their EP, Orion with theirs—both the tapes—and then The Dogging, Low Life record. There was the Destiny 3000 thing going on too. All the videos of the shows happening were really different. The crowd had colour and it was very diverse.

Randomly, Ewan from Sex Tourists was looking for a housemate. I said to him, ‘We’re thinking about moving to Sydney. We might come up and check it out.’ We went and saw a Sex Tourists show that weekend, and we liked that the entire scene was filled with all different kinds of people. It felt way more exciting and a lot more accepting. Jaz from Paradise Daily Records was putting on a lot of shows at that time, and it felt alive! There were really, really good bands, and it felt more like what Melbourne was like in 2010.

Melbourne had now gotten a bit rock-dodgy. People weren’t experimenting as much, or maybe the ones who were had chilled out and weren’t digging as much. Sydney has a really diverse underground scene. I don’t really know why Sydney does and Melbourne doesn’t. Like I said, Melbourne felt really monocultural, it’s the weirdest thing when the scene’s so big when it comes to punters. But it almost felt like it suffered from it. People who were in big underground bands almost started to get an ego. Like, you’d be talking to them, and they’d look past you. In Sydney, there’s just not enough people in the scene for it to be like that. Everyone knows everyone, and it’s got that real community feeling, which is more what we’re interested in. We’ve never had a huge interest in climbing the cultural ladder of Melbourne or wherever. It had started to feel boring. There were great elements too, but Sydney was definitely more exciting for us.

I understand that, I’ve had people look past me how you were saying. I find it funny when people in local bands can sometimes develop a big ego; I wonder if they even realise it? I find they’re usually the ones who are the most insecure and really care about what people think of them.

Congratulations on your new LP, Moraliser!  It is without a doubt one of our favourite albums we’ve heard all year. We’ve been waiting for something that’s truly amazing—Moraliser is it!

J: That’s awesome! 

We haven’t been as excited about a lot of music this year so far. There’s some cool things that came out but maybe not as much as previous years. There seems to be quite a few copycat bands around. Like, they see certain bands doing well and going overseas and then they decide to replicate the sound and even sometimes copy their look. Our favourite is people doing their own thing, like Negative Gears.

J: Thank you. I really appreciate it. I mean, I’m sick of this record at this point [laughs]. We put a lot of work into it. At the end of the day, hopefully that shows, that’s all you can hope for. It took us so bloody long to get this record done. 

So it’s a relief it’s out? 

J: Oh God, yeah. It’ll be even more of a relief when everything is done, because right now we’re in the position where we’re organising the Melbourne launch, and we’re going to go down to Canberra, and then we’re going to do a Europe tour in February next year and play all these songs. But the irony is, we’ve actually been playing lots of these songs for years.

Because the record took me so long to mix, it’s like, in our head, releasing it meant it was done, but then all of a sudden, you have to keep playing them, because that’s the first time people actually really enjoy seeing them—because they’ve heard them recorded. We misunderstood how important that was. Previously, after a show, people would be like, ‘Some of these new ones sound pretty good,’ but now that people can hear them recorded, they’re like, ‘Oh, I love this song now that I can really hear it.’

Why did it take so long to make? What was it that you weren’t happy with that made you keep trying new mixes?

J: Man, there’s lots of factors. I’ve got really hectic ADD, and my attention span goes through these wild cycles with creative stuff. I will hyper-focus on something, like, ‘Okay, I made this song sound like this and it sounded great.’ So I would then go back through the whole record and think, ‘I’m going to make everything sound like this song.’ That becomes my new thing—this song is the one that sounds good, and I’m sure of that.

Then I’ll go back, redo everything, and basically overcook the record. I’ll mess with it too much, and then, in a month, I’ll realise I screwed it up and need to scrap the whole thing and start again. That was part of it. But there was a point where I got better at that. About two years in, I kind of stopped doing that. But for the first years, I wasn’t entirely sure what the sound of the record was supposed to be, because it had really expanded.

The first EP was just one guitar, one bass, and a synth. We knew what every song should sound like—it was really stripped back and simple. There was a bit of arty noise stuff here and there, but I knew what I wanted that record to sound like from the start.

This time, we went in with no rules. When we started recording, my focus was, I don’t want to make a record we can necessarily play live. We can figure that out later. We just wanted to put in the stuff that sounded good. For example, ‘Lifestyle’ has six synth parts. Lots of them are really quiet, stereo-panned, but I knew we’d never be able to play any of that live. We were just trying to increase and decrease the dynamics.

Because we had it so open-ended, part of the challenge was not knowing when to stop adding things. We recorded the bones of the record pretty quickly—in about two or three months. But then COVID hit, and that wrote us off for a whole period.

We had movement restrictions, so Charlie and I couldn’t go to the studio. The whole thing was on pause for about six months. After that, it was trying to wind back up and get back into gear to finish it.

Near the end, it started to feel like it had been going on for so long that it became hard to find the motivation to finish. I was really struggling to wrap up the last 10%. After the whole COVID thing, it had been two years of being in and out, with no one playing shows. The whole scene in Sydney changed over that time, and I found it quite depressing.

All these bands we used to play with before COVID had split up. Bands I loved to see. When we started coming out of COVID, it was an unrecognisable environment. Oily Boys were gone because Drew had moved up north, and bands like Orion, and BB and the Blips had split up too.

Bryony from BB, went back overseas. She was in about five bands, she was in Nasho and a whole bunch of other bands that all broke up. 

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

I LOVED Nasho! I love all the delay and effects on the vocals. 

J: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nasho was sick! Bryony is a powerhouse. Everywhere that she goes, she does that. I think she’s in Berlin at the moment. I’ve seen her already popping up in a couple other bands. She’s a total beast. She’s really good mates with Tom from Static Shock, who is the record label for us over there. It was pretty sick having her here for a year, she pretty much revitalised the scene by herself. She really stepped up and made stuff happen. 

So COVID hit and then the scene was really different, it was strange. It was like, can you play a show? A couple of shows that did happen everyone pretty much got COVID straight away. I was just struggling to find any motivation. I got it back when we started gigging again.

We met lots of the young people from the Sydney scene. It was like, ‘Who are these new people?’ We were always younger than the big, dominant Sydney scene from 2014 to 2019—the Repressed Records crowd, Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys, and Royal Headache etc. Now, for the first time, we weren’t the young ones.

All of a sudden, lots of good bands started to emerge, like Dionysus (which turned into Gift Exchange) and Carnations. All the new bands gave me a sense of, ‘I’m not over, we’re not over.’ I thought I was dead. I thought everyone was getting over it.

I knew I’d finish the album, but it felt like the immediacy or the purpose for it dropped a little bit. You write the music for yourself, but releasing it is usually something you do because you want to have a party, play some gigs, and go on tour. Like I said, it felt like so many people around us had stopped, and the community was dying a bit.

It wasn’t like that for everyone, but for me, that was part of what I enjoyed, and it felt like it wasn’t there. Then, it built back up again. And, we got enough juice to get through it.

Growing older, I’ve observed that things just work in cycles. Things ebb and flow and that’s natural. When things change or become a challenging it’s good to keep in mind why you do things, like you said, you make music for yourself. Sometimes people can lose sight of that or they can actually be making stuff for the wrong reasons. It’s your job to work out how you can live a creative life that you’re happy with.

J: Yeah. When COVID hit, you start to think like everyone did: what am I exactly doing here? We’re all getting older, and at the time I was thinking, I hadn’t really ever had a job that I enjoyed. I worked for 10 years at complete shitholes that I hated. It was like, what am I doing?

Charlie had it figured out. She’d gone to TAFE, got into this costume thing, and started making costumes for theatre and movies. 

That’s really cool!

J: Meanwhile, I had no idea what the fuck I was doing [laughs]. I think that probably played a part too in why the record took so long. Before COVID I was doing a bit of audio engineering for other bands. I’d record bands and thought, oh, maybe I’ll go into audio, work at the ABC or something.

But my passion for that died pretty hard when I was trying to sit in front of a computer constantly, feeling guilty, trying to make myself finish a record. I was like, I don’t want to do this for work as well. I need to get out of the house. I needed to do something physical because I was too wrapped up in guilt. That was the worst thing. Even though it took five years to mix, it’s not like I took massive stints off. I was thinking about it constantly, every day.

I thought, I’m letting our whole band down too. They’d send me messages like, Hey man, how’s the record going? Are you okay? And so it didn’t ever go away. It didn’t take five years because I was lazy. I was thinking about it and working on it all the time. I was cooking myself over it. Doing it again and again—trying to change the tones, overdubbing the guitars, deciding it doesn’t need guitars, pulling things out, putting things back in again, redoing the vocal takes.

Then there was one song where I couldn’t write the fucking last lyric, the last verse in ‘Ain’t Seen Nothing,’ the last song. I wrote it nine months ago. It took so long to write because I didn’t want the album to end on this really negative thing. I wanted it to have this gleam of hope at the end. By the time I’d done it all, I was in a very different mental headspace, and I was like, fuck man, this album is so dark at so many points. That was definitely where I was mentally when I wrote those songs, but I wanted there to be something at the end that was like—but it isn’t that bad.

I noticed that sense of hope on that song. I think the album reflects what a lot of us feel with all the challenges of modern living. ‘Room with a Mirror’ is a really powerful song. It sounds so brutal; was there a lot going on with you at the time it was written?

J: Oh, fuck yeah. It is brutal. It was definitely in that period of self-reflection or trying to get outside of your box and at the same time hating the concept of trying to get out your box in the first place. There’s some funny lines in that one for sure. 

Do you find that writing songs and getting all these emotions, thoughts and feelings out helps you? 

J: Yeah, for sure. It’s how I process emotion. Like a 100%. I’ve done it since I was 15. I remember writing a song on my 17th birthday about being 17, and how fucking hard it was, which is a joke now, obviously [laughs]. 

I write plenty of songs that I don’t release that aren’t for this band that will be me just getting shit out. Some of them occasionally get popped out, I did a random solo tape called Goose ages ago.

Living in Sydney influenced Moraliser. In our correspondence you mentioned gross attitudes, selfishness, wealth, status and obsession. 

J: Moving to Sydney is a great way to solidify anti-capitalist views. Living in Melbourne, especially in North Melbourne, you’re in this weird little lefty bubble where it’s like, ‘Oh, they make little bike racks so you can go fix your bike, and the council puts on music events twice a week, and they’ll do an organic market fair,’ and you feel like, ‘Man, Australia’s pretty good, it’s not that bad’ [laughs]. While moving to Sydney is a great way to be like, ‘Man, Australia is fucked.’ 

It’s bizarre here. Everything is zoned into these six or seven different cities: the Shire, Lower North Shore, Northern Beaches, Eastern Suburbs, Inner West, Far West and South Sydney, and the Hills District as well. Every single one’s its own little city with its own rules—social and economic—because the class distinction is so huge. It feels very American to me, very polarised. The wealth gap is huge. The privilege of the coast is huge, like the privilege of the views, because it’s not as flat as Melbourne; every hill is expensive, every flat is cheap.

I used to live in Dunedin for about a year, and Dunedin was like that too. The tops of mountains were the only expensive places. But Sydney definitely shaped the record. I found it pretty weird, especially since I grew up in Canberra.

Nic Warnock wrote a review of Moraliser, and he said at the end of the review, ‘I think growing up in Canberra informed this, even though it’s not in the presser.’ I asked him, ‘What the fuck do you mean by that?’ And he was like, ‘Oh, just your views are probably inspired by those previous places.’ I thought about it, and yeah, he’s totally fucking right.

Art by Matteo Chiesara and Negative Gears. 

Canberra is this weird sort of zone outside of the rest of Australia. I go visit my parents, and there’s a little booklet on the table about what the Labour government—which, by the way, has been in power for about 34 years—has been doing for you. You look at the paper, and it’s, ‘Retirees have been getting together with the youth to graffiti,’ or, ‘We’re putting in a tram,’ and ‘We’ve re-greened this whole area.’ Canberra still has its problems, but it’s a bit of a left-wing bubble. Even though it’s gross in some ways, it doesn’t have the money or the display of wealth that Sydney has.

That was really shocking to me. You don’t see Lamborghinis in Canberra; everyone drives a fucking Subaru. It was quite weird to move to Sydney and be like, ‘Oh, we live in Sydney now, let’s go to the beach!’ And then you go to the beach, and it’s not a beach—it’s not Batemans Bay or Brawley. The beach is a park for rich people, a place where they show off designer outfits and spend their lives looking good. It’s a status symbol.

All of that was really confusing and exciting—not that I thought it was great, but I reacted to it strongly.

We live on the north side now, which is the home of the enemy. When we first moved here, Tony Abbott was the local minister.

For example, ‘Ants’—that song is about living in this apartment. My grandma bought this apartment in the late ’60s. She passed away, but she lived here her entire life after her husband died. It’s this tiny apartment—it’s got three rooms. We’ve been living here for a couple of years now, and the whole thing about ‘Ants’ was that we felt weird, like we’d crossed the bridge. We were living around all these fucking rich strangers. There’s a school across the road, and you can see the Harbour Bridge out the window.

The song was about, ‘God, I cannot fucking stay in this place. I’d rather fucking kill myself than be in this place’ [laughs]. But at the same time, understanding that the whole I’m alone in paradise lyric is like, no one knows us up here. We can leave the house looking like complete shit. We can leave the house and no one knows who the hell we are.

It’s basically a sea of old people who are chilling—presumably investment bankers or something like that. And it’s, wow, we are kind of alone in the middle of nowhere. It’s sort of nice being able to not see anyone, not having to interact with anyone, and to just be anonymous.

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

So where you live is the tower you talk about in the song?

J: Yeah, it is.

We can relate because we live on the Gold Coast, it’s laid back but there is a lot of wealth and status, or at least people trying to portray that, here. Everyone always spins out when we tell them Gimmie is based on the Gold Coast.

J: That’s so funny, isn’t it? Like people think that if you move away from the centre of a culture capital, that your art’s going to be damaged or like that you’re different in some way.

We love the weather and being near lots of beautiful nature spots. Brisbane and Byron Bay are an hour each in different directions. We also get to stay out of a lot of scene politics that can happen in bigger music communities. We feel like we’re alone in our own bubble most of the time.

J: Yeah. Living here reduces anxiety. Charlie, especially hates if we go somewhere, and we see someone we know, even if we love them, even if it’s a really good friend of ours, if she’s not prepared for for the social interaction, she’s not keen on it. Here we get to be on a bit of an island. We’re never gonna see someone we know at the local Coles or wherever. When we were living in St Peter’s, everyone who we work with lives there too. We’d go to the Marrickville Woolworths and you’d see three people from bands and your boss—we’re not particularly good at like living in that environment. 

Maybe it is because of growing up in Canberra where everyone’s separated so much in different suburbia. We’re not good at being in a city but this feels like we’re in a suburb. 

What was the thought behind the album title, Moralizer

J: I was listening to the lyrics. So much of this shit is so preachy [laughs]. Listening back, there are a lot of lines where I was like, oh, man, I wish I didn’t sound like I had the answers. That was never my intention. But there was so much fucking preachy shit about people who live ‘X’ way and people who live ‘Y’ way, and all this kind of shit. I felt like the title Moraliser was like a funny stab at what the record sounded like—someone standing on a fucking wooden box being, ‘This is how you should do it. This is how you live your life, and I love you. I’m a fucking false prophet.’ [laughs]. 

I thought it was funny because it was kind of true. It was a moralising record. There’s so much in there, so much critique, judgment and speculation. That was part of the reason I really wanted that last song to have a little upside to it.

In light of the darker take on living on the album, I wanted to ask you, what do you do for fun? 

J: What did I do for fun? God, I don’t know. Oh fuck this sounds lame but the funnest thing for me is every Friday the band writes or we record or we practice together, then we’ll go to the pub, it’s become a ritual. Our band is our closest unit of friends. 

I don’t have any other hobby I do outside of this. If I ever have free time i’m probably going to do it do music.

Is playing a gig fun for you? 

J: Sometimes. It’s not fun before, like the whole day before it’s—okay, here we go. We’re going to go do this again. But really, are we sure we want to do this? [laughs]. This is our life choices? Are we certain about this? And then when you’re doing it, I get on the stage, I’m like, yeah! Fuck yeah! I’m stoked. Afterwards, feels good and a relief too.

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

Is there a song that’s on the album that has a real significance for you? 

J: ’Ants’. It feels like the most whole song where I feel like everything in it is bookmarked really well. Everything is a holistically completed idea. I’m probably biased here because I wrote that song by myself [laughs]. Jack obviously did all the drum parts, and everyone recorded their bits at the time of the final recording. But, I did a demo version of it in 2019 that’s the same structure and mostly the same lyrics.

‘Pills’ maybe, too. It really feels like the first house we moved to in Sydney in St. Peters—with Ewan. That song was very much about time and a place. 

Maybe ‘Ain’t Seen Nothing,’ because the big final ending took forever for us to get to. It’s nice having a little verse in there about shacking up and having kids with Charlie.

Awww, that’s really sweet. How is being a part of Negative Gears affected your personal growth? 

J: It’s one and the same. Making music has always been a part of personal growth; it’s never been a thing that’s gone away. Seeing the songwriting actualised—seeing a song that I’ve worked on being turned into real life and then reaching completion—gives you a kick from the goal of it. Exploring the depth of how you feel about something is really good for personal growth. Sometimes you just have a feeling about something, but it’s not until you really dig into it that you understand where you stand on that issue. At least, that’s how I feel.

‘Attention To Detail’ is important. I remember I was fucking furious around the time that song got written, and I feel like I got it all out in that one song. Like, ‘Well, yep, I pretty much laid down everything I’m pissed about,’ and it was really cathartic. It was solidifying. It wasn’t just global lethargy; I wasn’t just over the world. I was very specifically pissed about a lot of things [laughs].

For everyone, I’d say it’s been a long journey. We’ve been a band for a pretty long time; all of us have played music since we were young. We all find it a constant ticking eternal thing. That you work on, that gives you a purpose to get through the rest of the week. When someone has a good riff, you’re like, ‘Oh, that’s pretty good!’ It keeps you interested and excited, and it’s something to fucking enjoy when you get off work.

It’s also something to talk about. We have a group band chat where I don’t think there’s been a two- or three-day gap in messages for maybe seven years. 


Wow. Is there any particular directions or collaborations you’re interested in exploring in the future? 

J: As far as art stuff there’s a bunch of people that I’ve been really interested in seeing if they can do some work for Negative Gears things. 

Music stuff, I was literally thinking about this today. Felipe from Rapid Dye, and Toto who I play in Perspex with, and Charlie and Jac did this band that started in the middle of COVID. It was called Shy Violets, sort of a poppy scrappy band. We wrote an album’s with of songs, 10 or 11. And then it all just flamed out. We never did anything with it. We never played a single gig. I’d really like to get that back together in some way, shape or form at some time.

I get to pour most of my creative energy into Negative Gears, which is a blessing and a curse. It is nice to have a break, though. 

We haven’t talked about the song ‘Negative Gear’ on the album yet; it’s almost like a theme song for the band, at least that’s what it seemed liked when we saw you play at Nag Nag Nag fest.

J: Yeah, it felt like the theme song on the record. That was kind of the plan. I fucking love that song. I think it’s one of our best. The coolest thing about that song is we all actually wrote it together.

Lyrically, it’s exactly what I described in some of those other songs. Like I mentioned earlier, I was in a spot where I’d been working fucking shit jobs for years, and I really had no idea what the fuck I was doing with my life. The whole thing was kind of flipping it on the band name, being like, ‘Yeah, I’m in a fucking negative gear. I can’t get anything going.’

At the time, I did have a $4000 credit card debt. And I had this big fucking growth in my throat that was freaking me out. That’s the first line of the song: I got a four grand credit card debt and a lump in my throat. It was painfully obvious when I was swallowing because it would make me puke. This weird fucking thing in my throat—I’d drink some beers, and I’d just start throwing up because it was clogging my throat.

Wow. 

J: It felt like I’d hit fucking rock bottom. God, my mum’s going to read those lyrics and she’s going to be sad. She’s going to send me some messages. I’m always honest with her. 

It sounds like your mum’s an important person in your life. 

J: For sure. She’s a very fucking incredibly strong, powerful force of nature. She was a behemoth of a person to grow up with for sure. And definitely still is. She’s a powerhouse. It was the reason I ran away from home when I was 14. But you know… [laughs]. We’ve been all good now for years. 

Can you tell us about the song ‘Connect’?

J: It was a bender song. We had the studio in Marrickville at the time. We weren’t the only ones there. Mickey from Den was recording a lot of bands there, and I was recording bands too. Eventually, the rent got too expensive. We turned it into a rehearsal space, which I think lots of the younger bands ended up using.

I’d pretty much tapped out of it. I was sick of managing it, so I passed it to Chris and was like, ‘Dude, I can’t handle this. Do you reckon you could do it?’ And he was like, ‘Fuck yeah,’ and just started getting people in. I think R.M.F.C. was in there, Carnations was in there, and Dionysus was definitely in there. It was this tiny little room in Faversham Street. We built a little studio, chucked all our gear in, and it became a hub.

It was pretty much a song about getting wasted at this place again and again. In the early periods of recording and writing that record—actually more the writing—we spent a lot of time in the studio in Marrickville, having these nights where the sun was fucking rising, and everyone was wasted. It was like, ‘Well, what’s next?’ There was a desperate sense of wanting to reach out to people, that horrible feeling you get at the end of the night where you’re like, ‘Oh, what’s everyone doing?’ or ‘What’s everyone up to?’ And, you’re realising you’re going to be the person chilling on the couch on a random street in Marrickville, sitting outside wasted at 6 o’clock in the morning. 

It’s a pretty straightforward song, not much depth, except for one line I throw in… I’m a master of the diss track. That’s the one thing I’ve got down—every song’s got disses in it [laughs]. There’s a diss in the song, something about buying fake iPhones and checking biceps. There was a crew of guys hanging around at that time, and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, these guys are mad!’ I remember telling the guys, ‘Yeah, bro, I gotta get the latest iPhone and start working out so I can fucking hang out with them—it’s gonna be sick.’ [laughs].

Photo: Jhonny Russell.

Last question, what’s some things that have been making you happy lately? 

J: I was stoked when I started realising that the Sydney music scene had regrown and was in a really good spot. 

I’m happy in most senses right now. Me and Charlie have a good life. We spend a lot of our time together, we work together and we play in this band and it’s fun. 

Outside of listening to, and making, music, I don’t fucking really think about that much. It’s been many years since I wrote the songs for Moraliser— you grow up. Charlie just said those feelings from the record, it’s still lurking, it doesn’t go away [laughs]. I’m very extroverted. I love talking to people. I come across as a super enthusiastic, excitable person, which I totally am in my life. But, Charlie is right in the sense that, I do still tip every couple of weeks, for days on end it goes and that’s when I write the majority of my music. I find that helps when I’m like that. I tip and I lose motivation. I do what everyone does—you fucking hate yourself and you feel like a piece of shit. It’s just part of my way of dealing with it all. 

I do think it’s funny, though, for the people that know me well—my close friends—when they hear my lyrics. Because most of the time, I’m like, ‘Hey, it’s so great to see you! Wow, so nice. We haven’t seen each other since Tuesday! It’s gonna be so good to hang out.’ I don’t seem like someone, I guess, who would have that darker side that’s in my lyrics.

But it’s just that I love people, and I love being around people, connecting with them. I love community, and I love building long-term friendships. That’s very different from how I feel inside when I’m alone.

I’m definitely in a much better place than I was five years ago—Christ! [laughs].

Follow: @negativegears. GET Negative Gears’ Moraliser (out on Static Shock/Urge) HERE.

Billiam: ‘Figuring out how to do stupid punk music in a way where I’m not completely destroying myself’

Original photo: Ada Duffy. Handmade mixed-media collage by B.

Gimmie caught up with Naarm/Melbourne-based musician Billiam just days before he set off on his first international tour across Europe to support his sophomore album, Animation Cel. The album showcases Billiam’s signature blend of ‘Autism-core’—a term he uses to describe the deeply personal, anxiety-fuelled punk—paired with irresistibly catchy hooks. Animation Cel is his strongest work yet and secured him a home on one of Australia’s best independent labels, Legless Records (Stiff Richards, Split System, Cutters, Phil & the Tiles & more). 

His music explores important issues like mental health and identity, while also embracing more playful subjects such as video games, defunct theme park Sega World, and even a tribute to enigmatic artist Shawn Kerri (known for her work with CARtoons Magazine and iconic images for the Germs and Circle Jerks). In our chat, Billiam shares how music helped him find a supportive community, identity, and discusses his creative process, and plans for his next album. Plus he reveals bands his been loving lately, that you just might too. As long-time Billiam supporters, we totally back him.

BILLIAM: Things have been absolutely hectic all year—lots of personal stuff, music stuff, gigging, and running around. It’s been fantastic. I’m very excited, and very happy the record’s out, very happy people have enjoyed it. I get to go over to Europe with the band. Everything is exciting.

That’s so great to hear! We’re so happy or you!

B: A few aspects have been challenging but like overall, hopefully it’ll be worth it when we’re over in Europe.

What’s been challenging? 

B: Last year was fairly hectic, mental health-wise, so I was just learning to deal with my head and translate what’s going on in my head into the real world, which sounds really wanky. But it was also about figuring out how to do stupid punk music in a way where I’m not completely destroying myself and can still look after myself. 

Managing Split Bills has been getting so hectic, making sure that everyone in the band is treated well and we’re not getting ripped off and that we’re able to make this massive Europe tour work and not come back in tattered rags and stuff like that. It’s really sad that you have to look out for people ripping you off, but it happens. I’m trying to avoid it as much as I can. 

Your upcoming European tour is the first time you’ve toured overseas?

B: Yeah, first time playing overseas, first time going over by myself as well! 

Other than playing shows; what are you most looking forward to?

B: I’m really looking forward to being in Glasgow. I’ve got a few days after the tour. I’m absolutely stoked to go to Glasgow. I’ve wanted to go for five years now. I LOVE Glasgow. 

I’m really excited to look at how different areas of Europe and the UK function when it comes to booking shows and the infrastructure around it. I’m really excited to jbe able to drive 3-5 hours and end up in a different city, with a different scene and different people. Obviously, Australia isn’t really designed for that, everything’s so spread apart.

Why do you love Glasgow so much? 

B: A lot of my favourite bands of all-time have come from Glasgow, like Yummy Fur, Bis, Lung Leg, stuff like that. Bands that have been incredibly instrumental to me, especially in the past few years. That gave me a new outlook on recording and writing stuff.

Your new album, Animation Cel is out! It’s one of our favourite things that you’ve ever done. 

B: Oh, that’s very kind of you. I’m really stoked you like it. 

It got started pretty quickly after Corner Tactics. The live band started, and it gave me a different outlook on what songs work well for Billiam. I’d been thinking about which songs work best live and how people react to that. At that time, I felt more confident with the little Tascam digital recorder I was using, so I was more willing to try different things. Halfway through recording, I found out Wild Wax wanted to book the European tour for us, so I had to get into gear to make sure all the labels had the final album ready. So they could like plan it and have the records ready for when we got over there. It was a pretty hectic production schedule, but a really fun one. 

It was a really fun record to make—a fun snapshot of my life, where I was mentally. I sometimes view albums like TV show seasons, and this one feels like the fun, happy-go-lucky second season where we’ve got a bigger budget. The next one I’m working on is more the fucking dark, groovy reboot or something like that. It’s a bit more sad and stupid [laughs].

I love that analogy! For Corner Tactics I know you wrote around 130 songs…

B: Yeah. Corner Tactics, I did write around 130. For Animation Cel it was around 70. I haven’t actually counted. The rate of success was a lot higher with this one. 

Having so many songs to chose from, how do you decide which of the songs make the cut? 

B: Gut feeling. I tend to rely a lot on other people too. I’ll send songs to the band and friends and if they have a really strong reaction to it, I generally feel a lot more confident putting it on the record. Sometimes, I’m not the best judge of what is best like in terms of my music. I like a record that flows really well, so if I can’t find a way for a song to flow in the record, I’m just happy to leave it, rework it or put it out on like a compilation. 

What was one of the first songs that you sent to people that got a really strong reaction? 

B: People really were keen on ‘Maid Dress’. I wasn’t as confident putting that on the record cause it’s a slower song. I didn’t know how people would react to it. But they really liked it.

Also, people were keen on the title track ‘Animation Cel’. Ada had been begging me to use ‘Sega World’ for three years ‘cause it was an old Disco Junk song. There was a point where Ada was going to join Disco Junk, and the whole conceit of her joining was that we’d start playing ‘Sega World’ live. I finally recorded a version I was happy with. She’s pretty happy that it’s in the set and that it’s on the record. 

Is there a track on the album that you’re really, really happy with?

B: I was super happy with like the final track ‘Shawn Kerri’s Grave’. Also, some of the faster songs like ‘Carrot in Your Hand’ and ‘Bash My Head Against A Myki Pole’ and ‘My Metronome’. I like those songs production-wise. I was really happy with how they sounded. I was just happy that this record sounded a bit better than the last one. It’s kind of like that evolution a little bit. 

You recorded everything yourself again?

B: Yeah. But it’s the first time people have played on one of my albums. I recorded in the front room. 

Over time or sessions close together? Previously, it’s been a quick process, like a few days.

B: Over time. I would come home from work, record a song quickly, get the drums down, and then work on it until I went to bed or had dinner. At the end, I compiled them. It wasn’t like I did demos and then recorded them all at once. The album is basically the demos, pretty much.

One take? 

B: Generally the first take I got that I thought was good. Especially with drums. I’m not a good drummer. Once I get a take that’s usable—I’m done, done, done. Throw it in the pile! [laughs]. I definitely think there’s an advantage doing everything myself. 

The next Billiam record, I’m recording at the moment, is a bit more professional. I did the drums and bass with Eric who does Checkpoint and Hobsons Bay Coast Guard. 

The next album is a concept album, right?

B: I’d call it like a very shit concept album in that the concept’s not really entirely developed [laughs]. It’s based around a lot of the stuff that happened mental health-wise. It was a challenging year in a lot of aspects. The record’s, me, processing… [pauses] …maybe that’s the wrong word. I’m writing about it, looking at it. It was all I could think about for the year, and I only really was coming out of it March of last year. 

I’m sorry you were struggling so much. I feel you. Mental health is something that I struggle with, that’s part of why we haven’t been doing as much Gimmie stuff for a little. It can be hard to do stuff when it’s just hard to get through the day. Things are getting better, though.

B: Yeah, it’s awful that shit happens to you as well. It’s just shit trying to swim through everything. Sometimes it feels like you’re like trying to run in syrup and you can kind of get close, but you can never get to like full speed. There’s this weird guilt thing too. I feel like it’s self-indulgent to talk about my own mental health, but it’s been really good to write about it. I’m pretty proud of the songs. Hopefully people dig them and think they’re cool. 

So Animation Cel is a lighter and funner and the next record you’re working on is the opposite… 

B: I like doing a different thing each record. The next one is veering into The Cure and a lot of more dreary subjects. After, the next record is going to be very stupid. I’ve already got a list of songs that might go on it—all of them are very silly. I’m just going to flip-flop until I find a nice happy middle ground. 

You’ve been having a prolific output. We’re so proud of you! It’s been the coolest watching you grow. 

B: Thank you. Tell Jhonny I said, hello and that I love him.

Will do! What was inspiring you when making Animation Cel?

The Split Bills starting up. Since Disco Junk had ended, I hadn’t really had a band. I was doing solo shows with a backing track. I got to do a lot of great stuff because of it, but it wasn’t the same energy as a band. T second Split Bills started up, everything was so turbo so quickly. Obviously that takes a toll on you and can be stressful, but it was cool. 

Right out of the gate, we were playing shows and people were really responding to them, having a really good time. People were excited, people wanted to hear my music; I don’t say that in an egotistical way. But I could really stretch out and try different things and see how they worked.

Wanting people to hear your music and being happy people are responding positively to it isn’t egotistical. You should be stoked about that! It’s totally okay to celebrate that.

B: I guess. 

You’re always so humble. 

B: I don’t try to be I’m just in my head—that’s how I am. I think it’s a very common thing for people on the Autism spectrum to be unable to process how people perceive them a little bit. 

Being on the spectrum inspired quite a few songs that were on the album, right?

B: Yeah. ‘My Metronome’ was based on a conversation with Ada. We were talking about music and how sometimes Ada can’t listen to it because she’s worried the song’s going to go out of sync with itself, and that really upsets her. She couldn’t explain why the idea of a song going out of sync was so upsetting, but it stressed her out to that degree. Ada isn’t on the spectrum, but I related to that struggle—something you can’t fully describe, but it upsets you so much. I thought that was a really good idea for a song. A lot of my stuff has to do with living on the spectrum and that kind of thought process.

I don’t realise how much it impacts how I think about the world and how I write until I talk with other people or they talk to me about things. I’ve had people come up to me and say, ‘Hey, I really like how you title songs. I think that’s really unique and different.’ And I’m just like, ‘Oh, thank you,’ but—it’s not a conscious decision. It’s just something I did because I thought it was interesting; it’s how it sounds to me.

Two songs that are my favourites on the album is ‘Hydraulic Press’ and ‘Protect The Emerald’. 

B: They’re fun ones! 

And ‘Kerri Shawn’s Grave’. That’s your longest song on the album. 

I think it might be the longest song I’ve ever written. It has an actual drum kit on it. I was very proud of how that one came out, because it was cool to see I could do a slower, washier song, that wouldn’t turn out horrifically bad.

It’s about the cartoonist (who was one of the few female contributors to CARtoons Magazine, and produced iconic images used by the Germs and the Circle Jerks)?

B: Yeah, absolutely. I went down a rabbit hole on her and her art. The fact that we don’t know where she went—we don’t know if she’s dead or alive or if she had an accident and has been incapacitated because of it—there’s all this mystery surrounding this influential and important cartoonist.

I had heard she had a fall, which resulted in had chronic cognitive problems, and now lives with her mother.

B: Yeah, I read that too. I’ve also read people say, ‘I met up with her in the 2000s and she was completely fine.’ Then there’s people who are convinced that like she died basically as soon as she stopped publishing things. There’s no concrete answer. Sometimes that can really freak me out if there’s no concrete answer to a person’s existence, especially someone who’s like created something so sick. Especially when you go down the rabbit holes of punk, there are so many bands with songs I love from records I love, where there’s genuinely no information on the internet about them. It adds this kind of question to their music, like: what happened to them? I’d love to connect with them about their music, but can’t.

Yeah, totally. There’s quite a few women in punk that I really love, from older eras, and’ve tried to track them down to chat with them and many aren’t interested in talking to anyone, or have a whole different life, or can’t even be found.

 B: Hmm. that’s interesting. I’m so used to having grown up on the internet where everything is accessible. And if you had a question, you could just have it answered. And the absence of that can sometimes really wig me out, especially if it’s something that I’ve connected to so greatly. I think that’s the same for a lot of people my age, getting wigged out by how confusing living and not being able to know things easily. 

‘Manitee Show’ is a great song too. It has the sample with the woman’s voice at the beginning.

B: That’s Jane Fonda. She did for Good Morning America, because she was talking about how she didn’t end up going to the Oscars because it was on too late and she wanted to go to bed. I found that line, ‘I’m challenging musicians…’ made me laugh so hard. I wrote the song entirely just to use that example! [laughs]. There’s no other reason. That song only exists because I wanted to use that sample and it made me laugh every time I played it. 

Amazing. It made me laugh. I really like this variety on this album. 

B: Yeah, I think that’s something I like as well. It was really nice to try out different songs and experiment with different things. It’s definitely informed the future of Billiam because some artists, like Alien Nose Job, can have one concept and stick to it for an entire record, and that sticks. A part of me wishes I could do that, but I know I’m way too scatterbrained. I want to put every idea on there, and I like the idea of it almost feeling like a playlist—a very cohesive playlist—instead of a concrete record where every song is meant to sound exactly like one thing.

It’s cool that Legless Records put it out. Legless are one of the best labels in Australia right now. They’re a label we trust to bring the heat, everything has been gold.

B: Not only is everything that they’re putting out gold, but I have the most respect I can have for a person in the world for Mawson, because of how he runs Legless, Split System, Stiff Richards, and all his bands. There’s no ego behind it. He’s doing it entirely for the love of music and wanting to spread it.

When Animation Cel was coming out, he was having a kid, and I felt so fucking bad because I was like, this person is having a child—a physical being that’s going to be running around the house—and he’s packing up pre-orders for my fucking record. I was just like, oh my fucking God, I hope he’s somehow able to make this work and it’s not too much for him to do. He was so kind about it.

Mawson is definitely one of the nicest people we know in the Australian music scene. He’s a real one. It’s cool how’s he’s built Legless up and a community around it of bands and networks—like a big family. 

B: He’s lovely and cares so much about everything he does to a degree that’s sometimes scary [laughs]. Like we were talking about earlier, there’s like so many people who are out to scam people and use them. Mawson is just so obviously not that. It’s sick to see the label doing so well. I’m very honoured to be a part of that history. I feel like it’s going to go down as like one of the great independent labels. He’s got an incredible catalog. This year so far there’s Autobahns, a new Stiff Richard song, and the fucking Cutters record! Yeah. It’s so good—it’s fucked! AND the Split System album! It’s amazing what he’s done and how he’s put it together with no moral compromise—it’s all based on community. Even when he puts on shows, he treats the bands so well, and that whole crew, everyone’s so lovely and so supportive. I have as much love as I physically can for a human being towards Maswson and Legless. 

Totally. We love Mawson too. Since we first spoke to you all those years ago, your music has been getting a lot of attention. Like, you were featured on Bandcamp for the Best Punk Albums of August. 

B: That was so cool. That was very surprising. I didn’t even know what to do for a second! [laughs]. I was just like, holy shit! Damn!

And you were featured in the a Spin magazine article.

B: Yeah, that was a very funny article to be a part of. It’s been cool and very nice, the words people have said about the record. It’s lovely to hear that people care. I can’t ever really have a great grasp on what I make; I make things and hate them half the time. Whenever people have a response to it, I’m grateful that they’ve given me the time and put the effort behind it to listen to it. There’s so much INCREDIBLE music coming out right now, I’m so stoked people consider me to be a part of that. 

We love the artwork for the new album!

B: Sam [McKenzie] is a genius. He knocked it 5 miles out the park, to the next stadium and then knocked it out of that one. It was the perfect album cover. I’m so happy with how it turned out. So incredible. It elevated everything, like 10 levels. 

Album arty by Sam McKenzie

What have you been listening to lately? 

B: This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but The Dare. I love that new album, What’s Wrong With New York? It’s super silly dance punk; very much like a throwback to LCD Sound System. I love the new Rixe 7”. The new records from Party Dozen and Shove—love those bands.

So, you leave from Europe on Wednesday…

B:  I’ve never been to an international airport alone, so I’m a bit nervous about that, but I’m really excited to go. I think the excitement is making up for the fear at the moment [laughs]. I’m very excited to look for weird records, see weird bands, and meet cool people.

Out of all the things you’ve achieved so far, what’s something that you’re most proud of? 

B: The collaborative stuff I’ve done. I’m really proud ‘cause I feel like I’ve spent so much time in my room, writing with myself and I convinced myself I wouldn’t be able to collaborate. Those records I’ve made has shown I can. I’m proud that people connect with the music too—that’s like the main thing.

Why do you think you make music? 

B: I’m not good at anything else. When I was a kid, I don’t think I particularly excelled at anything. I just watched YouTube, played video games, and didn’t really have a social life. When I turned 13, I started finding more mainstream punk music. Then I heard Modern Living by The Living Eyes, and I found this community where people wanted to talk to me, were supportive, and were excited to connect. When I found that community, I thought, okay, I’m going to do music. I’m going to make music. I’m going to play it live. I didn’t know how, but I was determined to do it. And now I’ve done enough that people think I’m worthy of going to another country to do it! That’s really cool.

Follow: @billiamofbilliam. GET Animation Cel(Legless Records).